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Feeling trapped and mini meltdowns
Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 10:30 AM
Joined: 7/12/2017
Posts: 1157

No need for explanation, we all are feeling it.  And if my lovely husband tells me it could be worse one more time, I will need someone to give me an alibi!!

That is all

Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 12:20 PM
Joined: 4/10/2017
Posts: 251

Yep, I put that saying with "golden years".  Cliché and false.  Could be worse than...what?  Doesn't help with the here and now tell him.
Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 12:41 PM
Joined: 4/4/2016
Posts: 153

I hate it when people say..."oh, you are going to miss it when she doesn't do "x" (insert whatever difficult behavior my dmil is currently doing). To me that is like saying to a kidnap victum that they are going to miss their kidnapper! No, no I will not miss "x" I already miss my dmil the way she was 10 years ago!



Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 4:37 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16818

"It" could be worse but that in no way means that "this" is not unbearable!
Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 8:19 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 1945

gubblebumm wrote:

..., I will need someone to give me an alibi!!...

Got one. Tell em you’re too busy on alzconnected chasing after Bible verses that it could not possibly have been you

Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 8:48 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16818

she is not  chasing after Bible verses
Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2019 6:28 AM
Joined: 4/3/2019
Posts: 85

It's actually a relief to read your post.  I had a meltdown last weekend, and then took some space for myself, and yesterday morning at 9 am my mother (who has early stages of dementia) started texting me at 9 am saying she needed a recipe from me . . . . sigh.  

And yeah, "it" could be worse, but this is pretty tough. 

Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2019 9:21 AM
Joined: 9/18/2018
Posts: 33

 Fully understand. I attended a caregivers meeting last week and came away with a feeling of relief and terror. Relief because my mom is obviously not as far along in dementia as some of the other caregivers loved ones, and terror cause she's not as far along as some others. If I hear the phrase "daughter of the year" or "God bless you for doing this." I might scream. Great, thanks for giving me pity but not help!

- Holly

caregiving daughter
Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2019 2:58 PM
Joined: 11/27/2012
Posts: 2030

Compassion means taking, "at least ..." out of the vocabulary. There is no "at least" with dementia. What is needed is someone to listen to us--we don't need someone who tries to make us necessarily feel better. Just someone to listen...
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 8:54 PM
Joined: 4/29/2019
Posts: 27

I'm really happy I came across this post today! I was able to chuckle after a difficult day! I've had many of the same thoughts!
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 4:27 AM
Joined: 5/22/2018
Posts: 142

I'll just add, Ditto, ditto and ditto!
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 7:44 AM
Joined: 12/21/2014
Posts: 496

wow. you posted this on Monday.

Monday morning, I woke up NOT wanting to do this anymore. I was in a serious "funk."  Bad mood all the way around the entire day.  

Tuesday woke up not in that same level of "funk" but still.

I wonder what was in the water over the weekend?  


Rescue mom
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 8:13 AM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 593

Am I the only one who’s SMDH at being told “just remember all the good times you had.” 

Yes, I do, quite often. We’d be having them right now, except for this disease. When dealing with a person who’s mobile but has virtually no thought process, living in the past doesn’t work so well.

“It could be worse” is another one. That’s basically a truism for just about anything. As jfroc said, that doesn’t mean what’s happening now is OK.

Rescue mom
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 8:46 AM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 593

Must be the time of year, or something. At least my therapist does not say “it could be worse.”

But am I wrong for being the teeniest bit aggravated when he seemed to take great pride in announcing “you feel trapped” like a big breakthrough? 

Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 9:55 AM
Joined: 4/9/2018
Posts: 60

Rescuemom, I was just thinking I might need to find someone to talk to about my frustrations, but if they're just going to say " feel trapped" or something else ridiculously obvious there's really no point.
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2019 11:37 AM
Joined: 4/19/2018
Posts: 42

My brother used to say don't worry it could worse or this is nothing compared to what is coming .until he took care of her for an evening
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