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Friend suffering from dementia turns to me
My wife and I have friends with whom we've traveled and visited monthly for well over 20 years. They have been good friends to us and we love them very much.
The woman in this couple has dementia (I don't have enough info to judge what kind) and I can see that it is tearing them apart. He is extremely smart, and remembers the date when he got is drivers license, as well as the temperature that day (he's 72). He has better memory than anyone I know. And she's falling apart. Between them I see condescension and eye rolling going both directions.
Iwould tell her she must see a doctor because there are physiological
things that can cause her symptoms. She needs to be assessed + that
might get her to see a dr....tell the Husband the same thing.
I should have said she did get assessed and although she tells me it is not that bad, he tells me the dr. told her to stop driving immediately. Which she did not bother to hear or recall.
But I like the idea of responding to her that she needs to get her husband and herself back to the doctor she already saw and get some help there. I don't really WANT to be giving her advice - it isn't my core competency.
She did not hear or recall because she has anosognosia, which can be a characteristic of the dementias. She is unaware of having dementia. He will have to learn work-arounds and coping strategies.
It sounds like you are getting trapped in between a rock and a hard place. Do the best you can not to get too wrapped in their situation. "Exit.......stage left!"
Emphasize the importance of diagnosis to Mr. Husband. As Tess and terei mentioned, it could be something that is totally curable. And that would make their life WAY easier than if dementia is actually setting in.
Good luck and best wishes, Greg