Standard Monthly Site Maintenance Scheduled for Wednesday,
May 22nd from 8:30 p.m. CT to 2 a.m. CT. Click here for more information.
Loading discussion content. Please wait...
In need of Tips and Tricks
I need any tips and tricks that you can think of really helped you when you started caring for your loved ones. I am having a difficult time trying to balance their independence and their need for more cares.
When you first started this journey what was something you had wish you had known then that you know now?
What a care partner shouldn't be as focused on?
Any tips on how to be successful and finesse-ful?
How to let go of ideals and perfection?
How to effectively redirect?
Anything will help!! Thanks!!
Thank you @Dunc1129, I will look into getting the 36 hour Day. I've watched most of the Teepa Snow videos on Youtube.
Thank you @Eric L, I appreciate your response. You are right.
PreciousMoments, first off I love your name. And yes, these are precious moments.
Once I had wrapped my head around that fact that Dad had AD and it was a death sentence, my most important goal was to make the last of his life as good as it could be. I always looked at him as a man first, and as the victim of AD second. My goal was to preserve his dignity to the best of my ability.
Don't focus on being your LO caregiver, focus on being their partner. Let them know you have their back.
Your success in caregiving is based on my first answer. A happy person with AD is much easier to work with. Make this about enjoying each other, no matter what comes up.
Ideals of perfection fly out the window on any given day. Look for each and every "win" (as I used to call them) no matter how small.
As far as redirecting, well, the books always say to give directions. That never worked for my dad. If I said, "It's time to go to the bathroom now." he'd answer, "I don't have to." Then of course, I'd be busy with clean up an hour later. So I found that approaching redirection with a smile and several options worked the best, for both he and I.
And my final tip is this is a marathon not a sprint. In the beginning I was a basket case. But organization has always been my speciality, and it helps. The more organized you can become, the less work this taxing job is.
Hope this helps,
Hi His Daughter,
Thank you so much! This was really what I needed to hear today. I was trying to think of a username.. and I realized that no matter what happens I am so blessed to have this time with my grandparents. This is precious time with them. The others are really missing out. Yes, there are the days are very challenging, but somehow we make it through. I am definitely going to focus on the little "wins". It is very helpful advice! Thank you!! <3
I agree with His Daughter, getting organized also helped me, and has helped the daytime caregiver we have while I work. I have a discreet multishelf unit in the corner of my mother's bedroom that holds supplies. The top has her toiletries, the middle has her depends, baby wipes, and gloves for caregiver. Mom doesn't notice it because it's behind a door.
Speaking of the caregiver, when we transitioned to one, I was concerned that it would bother her, so I told her it was someone to help us while I worked, to clean, but also would make mom meals and could take her places. She accepted her from the first day, and they have become buddies. (Thankfully, because the caregiver gives mom her showers, has to help her go to the bathroom and wipe her after, dress her, etc.)
This board has been really helpful for tips and tricks. When questions arise, I'm sure you'll pick up a lot of good advice. Take care.
Hi all new here to the forum. My Mom has AD at the moderate to severe stage. She has recently been involved with a lottery scam. She lost $10,000 at one point. Now the scammers are back but fortunately we were able to intervene before she gave any money away. Of course this led to her being angry, lashing out, etc. I am 8 hours away but have a brother and sister right there in the same town. They are the primary caregivers with my other sisters and I rotating out to give breaks and help. My sister filed a police report but what else can we do?
Chippy, hi and welcome. First advice since you are new. You will get many more responses if you start a new thread with your new subject. Otherwise, readers are unlikely to see what your specific question is.
To your issue—which is a common question: at this point, someone else needs to have control of her finances. If she’s so late-stage and already been scammed already, she should NOT be able to get at much (if any) money at all. You can set up auto pays for many bills. If she insists on having a credit card, give her an old/expired/fake one. They usually don’t realize it.
Or let her keep an old not-good checkbook. But from what you’re saying, no way should she be controlling significant money. Someone else must handle that now.
The money lost is basically....lost. Gone. Cops virtually never get it back, nor find who did it. We caregivers have to watch continually for scammers.
Our LOs get angry over many things that are for their own protection, kind of like toddlers do. But our LOs brains and emotions are damaged. Dealing with that is a part of caregiving (sigh)