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Starring into space
Posted: Tuesday, May 14, 2019 9:24 PM
Joined: 4/10/2017
Posts: 266

Granted my mom has been sick.  Out of the hospital last Thursday being "under observation" (what a crock that was) for bronchitis.  I had to insist she leave on third day.  Nurses/STNA's waiting on her hand and foot.  She LOVES the attention and being taken care of.  Now, back in assisted living she just sits in chair starring out the window. She won't/doesn't  turn on TV or talk to anyone.  Hits her call button every 1-2 hours..."I don't feel good".  She is draining me!!!  Oh poor Dana, the aides say.  

Really, how can anyone pretend a cough still only when someone is around.  Want breathing treatments and tylonel and never leave her chair?   Have headaches everyday?  

Help me understand!!!

I don't get it...still.  Up the paxil I say.

Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2019 1:48 AM
Joined: 12/17/2018
Posts: 220

Oh dear... I know that feeling of being drained.

It sounds like your mother is needed a higher level of care.  MC?

I moved my mother to MC about a month ago.  Just tonight I was saying again how I wished I had done it sooner.  My mother has great hostess mode so she even fools me into thinking she's better than she is.  The bottom line - she's so much more content with the increased direction.  The care aides cater to her emotional needs as well as her physical needs.  They tell her the fiblets that make her feel secure.  They bring her to the common area when she is wandering the halls.  More attention...  she loves it and she feels secure and safe which means more smiles, less agitation and it gives me freedom.  I'm able to stop thinking about her constantly.  

I think I'm actually getting my life back.

Oh, and AL wanted her on all kind of meds and insisted that she needed to be on anti-psychotics.  When she moved, we DECREASED her trazadone and she is showing no signs of needing any medication.  She just needed more care to offset her anxiety.

I hope you find what works for both of your sakes.  Good luck!

Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2019 1:08 PM
Joined: 10/9/2014
Posts: 641

It can be frustrating and difficult to see when a LO's mental abilities are declining. I learned to try to see it from their perspective. Their mind is no longer functioning in the way it used to. 

When a person who has dementia is in the hospital, they need increased care and supervision, because, their brain is not able to perform like a normal person's would.  So, I would welcome extra supervision.  People who have dementia can easily fall, have poor balance,  pull out IV lines, and generally not comply with medical instruction, because their brain is not working properly. Often they don't like to get out of chair because their balance is poor.  And, things look strange. It can be frightening and confusing to them.  My LO would sometimes ask me if things were a dream. It was like it wasn't real.  This scared her and she needed comfort.  

Your mother's complaints may be legit or not, but, since she has dementia, they have to be taken as valid and treated, according to what the doctors say.  

I wouldn't take it personally that she isn't talking or turning on TV.  She may not remember how and also, people with dementia may develop what is known as lack of initiative. They simply lose the ability to initiate actions. For example, they may look at a book, but, not read it. See a tv, but, not have the initiative to turn it on.  It's not a conscious thing that they are neglecting duties. IT's just not in their wheelhouse any longer.  

Is she doing well in the AL? If not, you can discuss her needs with them.  At a certain point, I moved my LO to Memory Care, because her needs were too great for AL.  It's something to keep in mind as she progresses. 

Posted: Thursday, May 23, 2019 3:54 PM
Joined: 5/23/2019
Posts: 99

Greetings my dear

My name is Basilia Jackson a lady from U.S, i saw your profile and become interested in knowing you please contact

 me in my email address as a friend


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