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Treasure hunt
tcrosse
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 9:21 AM
Joined: 6/27/2019
Posts: 5


My LO has a way of putting things away in unlikely places and then forgetting where. The other day she went through her collection of ID cards, so now we can't find her Medicare and BCBS card or her (expired) drivers license. It's possible to get replacements for all but the drivers license, but what a pain! I've been turning the house upside down looking for them.
MinutebyMinute
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 9:25 AM
Joined: 6/11/2019
Posts: 145


Oh, man, I feel you! My mother's DL appears to be gone (expires in a few months and needs to be updated anyway to show new address and will likely just become state ID at this point).

In past few weeks, she has also "lost" sunglasses, necklace and wallet. Luckily, all have been recovered. Her wallet ONLY because I was on floor looking around her bed (where her purse had been) and found it as I was lifting myself up: tucked beneath mattress and box spring! She insisted she never put it there.

Uh-huh.

I try to do inventory at least once a day to ensure none of these things -- and now her teeth are on the list -- are anywhere but where they should be. It's maddening!


Dot9000
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 9:32 AM
Joined: 6/12/2019
Posts: 40


Make sure to look under beds and couches. Also, if there is a curio cabinet, look in tea cups or anything that it would fit into. Good luck!!
Victoria2020
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 10:16 AM
Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 705


Ditto and Ditto and Ditto.

Things JUST replaced were lost, like unpacked and in seconds GONE! Then PWD  said- oh the box must have been empty then.

Wallet has color copies of the documents (id card, medical) now-printed on photo paper.

 


caregiving daughter
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 1:35 PM
Joined: 11/27/2012
Posts: 2057


If it helps, in roughly eight years, I never needed the DL for my mom as an id.
Janice.alone
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 3:37 PM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 48


After mom moved on up to Heaven, and I cleaned out her cottage, you wouldn't believe where I found some things.   She had put her souvenir spoon collection in the hot-water-heater closet under the steps which was behind the couch.   She blamed everyone in the world for stealing those silly spoons, but in reality, she hid them in a place that no one would ever have discovered until the hot-water-heater broke down!!   I had a good chuckle about that and was amazed that such a tiny, frail 87-year old could move the couch and get back in that little closet. 

One place I found ID cards was in between the box spring mattress and the frame that supports the mattress.   Obviously it happened when she sat on the edge of the bed looking at the cards.   Other items such as keys (multiple copies) have never been located and I believe they were likely put in the trash can for safe keeping.   Happy hunting !!


Beachfan
Posted: Wednesday, August 7, 2019 4:22 PM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 307


DH is an outdoorsman.  He routinely takes the grandkids (or my) flip flop and places it carefully into a bush in the garden.  Serves us right for leaving them lay around.)  They are on to him now.  Missing dishcloth was found dangling in a rhododendron bush about 6 weeks in.  

He doesn't bother with important papers or documents; they are out of reach.  But, thinking back, I am certain he "misplaced" a bank envelope with about $900.00 in it years ago, just around time of dx.  OOPS. 


Keep It 100
Posted: Thursday, August 8, 2019 3:17 PM
Joined: 2/26/2017
Posts: 364


I often place my favorite pair of gold hoops and double chain necklace on the low dresser in our bedroom; not super expensive jewelry, but by no means cheap, either. But my husband, who likes to "squirrel" things away, put them somewhere, and for the life of me, I cannot find them. His own St. Jude pendant and chain (purchased at the Vatican) went missing for about a year, which made me very sad, then one day out of the blue it was just sitting on his nightstand! He had no idea where it came from. So I am sure my earrings and necklace will reappear one day, but I miss them, and I'm reluctant to spend a couple hundred dollars to replace them.
JustLikeMom
Posted: Thursday, August 8, 2019 3:38 PM
Joined: 2/7/2012
Posts: 481


Someone at my Mom's care center must be frantic over where their keys went (on the stretchy plastic bracelet).  Never fear!   They just need to look in my Mom's purse.   She scooped them up and took them away.  She "found" them in her purse the other day and then started raising hell about getting home now that she has "her" house and car keys!  

 


hkuchera
Posted: Saturday, August 10, 2019 5:38 PM
Joined: 9/18/2018
Posts: 41


Sister and I often had scavenger hunts while mom was at home. Where'd the flashlight go? Found it a week later in a drawer in another room. Where's moms purse? Hidden in her wardrobe or in the bottom of the night stand or under and behind a chair in a corner. The best one was, where's the potato chip container?
Eventually found it in the dryer.

My solution for important cards going missing was to remove them from moms wallet early on. Made a color copy of her expired drivers license, covered it with scotch tape and put it back in the license slot. She never noticed it had changed.

A tip we got from the facility she is currently in regarding her obsession with having cash (a strict no no in the facilty) was to put play money in her wallet. The stuff we got from the dollar store was whiter and less than half the size of real cash, but she believed it!

- Holly


Abuela
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 8:10 AM
Joined: 6/24/2012
Posts: 346


My mom lost her cards more than once.  I finally did not give them back to her anymore.  I keep them in my wallet.  I also did this with her prescription sunglasses.  She only ever used them for driving, but for eye exams we need them so they are also in my purse for our excursions.  She lost her partial dentures... never to be found.  4-5 dental visits and $5,000 to replace them!! 

 She lost her engagement/wedding ring.  It was missing for more than 6 months.  We looked everywhere, repeatedly.  One day when scouring her closet for dirty laundry (she hangs it back up) I looked at the hamper and saw a washcloth in it.  There was the ring!  Now, we had looked in that hamper all the time and had emptied it many times.  So she had moved it into the hamper in between searches.  Remember, she would lament having 'lost' the ring.  But somehow she was moving it from hiding place to hiding place.  Can't make this stuff up.  

The back story is that when her sister died a few years ago, her daughter found some jewelry wrapped up in a towel at the bottom of the hamper.  This story must be stored somewhere in mom's memory cells.  

The ring is now in a safe deposit box with her other valuables.  Sigh.  Good luck.  Hope some of this makes you chuckle.  Can't make this stuff up.  


purpleviolet1979
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 9:29 AM
Joined: 8/13/2019
Posts: 1


My M-in-L had a bill caddy that belonged to her deceased husband and was very dear to her. It is missing and she is blaming a granddaughter for taking it, but has no proof. She gets mad when I try to explain that it might not be her granddaughter who took it--there is no proof that she did except she lived with my M-in-L briefly a couple of months ago. We have searched her house and have not found it. Maybe the granddaughter did take it, but it is not certain. I feel someone is innocent until proven guilty. My m-in-law is 100% certain that her granddaughter took it, and if you do not agree with her she gets mad and hangs up on you if you are talking to her about it on the phone. This has been going on for the past 1.5 weeks. I do not want to accuse the granddaughter of doing something that I am not sure that she did so I can't agree with my m-in-law, and this makes her extremely angry. She is fixated on this, and won't give it up. She brings it up almost every time we talk to her now. She sometimes calls us 6 times a day. I believe this incident has taken her to another level in her dementia. We do not have a diagnosis yet, but hope she will cooperate and go the doctor with me on Thursday of this week.

Any suggestions?


MinutebyMinute
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 11:27 AM
Joined: 6/11/2019
Posts: 145


 

Try to avoid the subject as best you can. My mom has had a series of obsessions during the past 3-4 years. She's forgotten all of the biggest except one.

Like yours, my mother was convinced that a theft was involved in one of these. She threatened to call the police several times. I was able to talk her out of it each time. Ultimately, the "stolen" pieces were found. Within a week or two, the topic was never brought up again. Even now, when those items were unpacked and are in use in our new home, they don't trigger those old obsessions (something I feared).

Good luck! It's a difficult situation with no easy answers.

 


1of4
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 11:32 AM
Joined: 3/30/2019
Posts: 6


Purpleviolet1979

This brings to mind the time my mom gave me a family photo album for safe keeping, then accused me later of stealing it.  Is it possible she voluntary gave this item to the grand daughter then forgot she did so?  It might be helpful to have one of the grand daughter's parents ask her if she remembers seeing the bill caddy there while she was visiting.  

 


dw743
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 12:30 PM
Joined: 11/13/2018
Posts: 86


Been going through DW clothing, dresser draws, boxes, etc. as she is now in MC for the past 3 months. In the past years she had ramped up hoarding things, and I didn't know how bad it was. (all new stuff).

I was getting stuff ready to be boxed for Goodwill last week, when I found a stash of money ($3500) hiding under some of her under ware. Didn't know she had it. So now the clean up has moved into a lower gear so I don't miss some other "stash".

We also went through the lost ID's, purse, credit cards, keys. Used the driver license missing to change it to ID card.

Yes finding $3500 was good, but it shows just how bad this Alz can effect our LO.

 


tcrosse
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 1:24 PM
Joined: 6/27/2019
Posts: 5


After turning the house upside down I finally found the collection of cards which started off this thread. Of course, they were in the last place I looked. Now the originals are going into the strongbox and copies into the DW's purse. Lesson learned.
MinutebyMinute
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 1:27 PM
Joined: 6/11/2019
Posts: 145


This really IS the best strategy (copies of all important IDs). Once I get everything back, I am going to make copies, laminate them if need be, and switch them out in her wallet.

One way I KNOW I'll know where they are when needed!


feudman
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 2:33 PM
Joined: 6/5/2014
Posts: 1278


tcrosse wrote:
After turning the house upside down I finally found the collection of cards which started off this thread. Of course, they were in the last place I looked.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   tcrosse, lost things are always in the last place we look because we stop looking when we find them. Gary Larson drew "The Land of Lost Things"......it was a huge mound of cell phones, next to huge mound of keys, next to a huge mound of earrings, etc., etc.,

I found out if you can'f find your Medicare card, healthcare providers can look it up by SS#.



 
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