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Mother has severe dementia, father is in denial - what to do
Winegaldt
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 5:06 PM
Joined: 8/13/2019
Posts: 2


My mother has severe dementia ( probably Alzheimer’s, but don’t know for sure since she has not been diagnosed and my father will not agree to it). My father just turned 92 and is declining quickly, both mentally and physically. My mother needs significantly more care than what my father is capable of providing, but he will not agree to in-home care or assisted living. He is in complete denial about my mother’s condition. My mother is suffering because of this. I believe that the only solution may be to take conservatorship of my mother and move her out of their house. Does anyone know - is this even possible? How would we accomplish this? My father recently signed a POA, giving one of my brothers the ability to handle their finances. The attorney that handled the POA does not think we can declare my father incompetent since he did understand the implications of the POA. Not sure how to proceed. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.
SunnyBeBe
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 5:13 PM
Joined: 10/9/2014
Posts: 639


I'd get legal consult from different attorney and one who litigates incompetency cases.  Regardless of whether father is competent, if mother is not, she needs protection. If father refuses, he needs to be overruled. I'd legal advice on the process. And, you might ask about reporting it to Adult Protective Services.  Do you have relationship with her doctor? Some doctors will report if patient is not getting proper care at home due to dementia. Unless, father was willing and able to hire around the clock care to come into home, I'd not have faith that a person at age 92 would be able to provide that kind of care for another senior with dementia.
Winegaldt
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2019 5:17 PM
Joined: 8/13/2019
Posts: 2


Thank you for you advice. I appreciate it.
 
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