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Depends - need advice
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2019 9:44 AM
Joined: 4/4/2016
Posts: 60

we finally decided to make the switch to wearing them fulltime.  She was only doing night time, but started having trouble holding it on the bus ride home from the Day Center.  Some days, shes dropped off quickly, others it can be up to an hour.  Even though they try to get them to go to the restroom before getting on the bus. 

I didn't make a big fuss, just cleaned out her underwear drawer and replaced with Depends.  Actually the Always brand because I thought they looked more like underwear, they were white, like 95% of her real underwear.  Well that brand doesn't fit well and she was very frustrated putting them on.  Kept thinking they were on backwards.  Mainly they didn't cover her behind like the regular underwear and the padding seemed bunched up in the front.  I am worried thought that if I bought a bigger size, they might cover the behind, but still be poofy in the front.  She is not a small woman and she was wearing an XL in the Depends brand for overnight coverage.  Those fit a little better.  

My question - What brands have you found that are the closest to regular underwear?  Don't need a ultra absorbant one as these are for daytime wear and only there for just in case. 

I looked online but so many to choose from and hard to tell by the pictures. 


Posted: Monday, August 26, 2019 11:01 AM
Joined: 6/11/2019
Posts: 318

Currently using the Always ones you described for Mom for many of same reasons. So far, they have more than fulfilled the needs!

That said, Mom continues to lose weight and even so, occasionally says the size L "feels too tight" on her. In those instances, I resort to an old pack of Depends that are XL that I bought back in the days when she used to have bowel issues (outside dementia) so I could keep something in the car for an occasional accident while we were out.

Not sure if it's the design or just the fact they are supposedly a larger size but they work for her. They DO seem to have a bigger absorbency square and have a tendency to get bunched up when she puts pants on over them (rather than a nightgown).

Posted: Monday, August 26, 2019 11:12 AM
Joined: 7/3/2018
Posts: 63

We use the Always Discreet underwear for my Mom.  They have been great, fit really well and hold what they need to.  They are used for the day time.
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2019 11:14 AM
Joined: 6/11/2019
Posts: 318

Forgot to mention ... if she has hard time telling front from back with the Always ... tell her to look for the bow. It's on the front! (Go through this with my mom, too.  )


MN Chickadee
Posted: Monday, August 26, 2019 11:16 AM
Joined: 9/7/2014
Posts: 931

We used Depends Silhouette at first and then switched to generic once she was used to them. It may just come down to body type and build. North Shore Care provides samples, you can request them with this link


Posted: Monday, September 9, 2019 10:33 PM
Joined: 9/9/2019
Posts: 2

Have you thought about just using a disposable pad for daytime?
Posted: Tuesday, September 10, 2019 9:49 AM
Joined: 4/4/2016
Posts: 60

Thank you everyone for the ideas.  She has done better than I expected.  I purchased another style in the Always and those seem to be working for daytime as well as she is better used to the white ones and hasn't fussed but once or twice.  

I thought about the disposable pads, but that seemed to be more work in training her.  She is not able to learn new things.  She is very adamant that she still has her mind and nothing is wrong with her.  I worried she would take them off and we wouldn't know and then have an accident.  

We still 3 -4 nights a week have to make sure she has put them on at night.  She has an old routine of not wearing ANY underwear to bed under her pajamas pants.  She sometimes recognizes them as what they are and complains, telling me that she doesn't pee the bed. I just smile and say "OK"  She will put them on even while telling me this, so am thankful that I dont have to physically force her.  

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