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We all have dreams in life
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 7:06 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3400

Yesterday I realized that all of mine will come true by the time we move into our new home in two years. Its so hard to believe I have been so lucky even with this dam dementia. What does one do when they finished most of their bucket list and accomplished their dreams? Is that why we thrive to live thinking about those things and how to accomplish them? 

Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 9:59 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18843

You add new dreams
Iris L.
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 12:47 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16562

Ditto jfkoc.

Michael, are you distinguishing between bucket list dreams versus goals in life?  My goal is and has been to do whatever it takes to maintain my independence.  My old bucket list has been completed.  I might begin a new bucket list.


Posted: Friday, November 22, 2019 9:47 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18843

I think they are different.

My goals are "big brush' and have to do with how I live my life. A bucket list would be specific things I want to do. Currently my list is empty. I will need to think about that fact.

The term bucket list comes from a movie and really refers to things one wants to do before they die. 

Posted: Friday, November 22, 2019 12:05 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2661

I think the movie was named after the colloquial phrase of having a list before you kick the bucket.  I heard that term a lot long before the movie was made.  My own bucket list condists of personal accomplishments that would make me happy but the world won't end if I don't do them.  Like playing the Franz Liszt transcription of Schumann's Widmung on the piano.  I'd like to travel to some iconic places, but realistically, financial priorities come first.

My goals are to live well and die well and have my friends and family genuinely grieved to see me gone.

Posted: Friday, November 22, 2019 4:46 PM
Joined: 8/22/2016
Posts: 263

Unforgiven, you play the piano? My son went to a piano conservatory but became a lawyer instead. He is still an accomplished pianist and teaches piano on weekends. He plays Liszt and the Chopin Nocturnes and Etudes. Do you like to play music by Chopin? I love music for classical piano. 

About dreams and bucket lists. We dream and plan for ourselves and have dreams for our children too. Then life happens. Illness happens. There is a Yiddish expression - A mensch tracht und Got lacht - translation - A person thinks and G-d laughs. 

Some get to make it to 90 or 100 with all their marbles and mobility and some get cut down much younger when they hardly saw it coming. In my case I developed Alzheimer’s and I was just past sixty..So I reflect on what I am glad I WAS able to accomplish. I made films and a documentary that have been seen in Europe and the US and Israel. I was a great teacher and mentor. My adult children are smart and accomplished. My grandchildren who are still babies are healthy, precious and I have gotten to live to see them be born and thrive. 

Glad I was able to see so much of Europe. Glad I was able to learn that my imagined ideas of England, France, Italy, Poland, Russia, Germany, Israel  - were quite different from what I’d imagined. 

When a person gets Alzheimers, whether younger or older, having dreams or a bucket list takes on an entirely different meaning. I take stock of who I am, who I was and what I can still do. 

I always wanted to go to China, but that’s not going to happen now. But I can still learn and  read about the Great Wall and the Forbidden City. 

Two thoughts for Unforgiven, one a question and one an observation.

Is that photo on your avatar an unfinished Rodin sculpture or is it one of the unfinished Michelangelo slaves?

About your avatar Unforgiven, referring to the Clint Eastwood movie- I think of the line spoken by Gene Hackman as Little Bill when he was shot by Eastwood’s character, William Money- Bill says, “I don’t deserve to die like this”. To which Eastwood replies, “Deserves got nothing to do with it”. 

That’s a great metaphor for life, bucket lists and dreams...

Posted: Friday, November 22, 2019 5:26 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2661

Yes, I do play the piano, but not so well as my Dear Spouse, who is serenading me right now with Mendelsohn, I think.  Before that it was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, and before that it was Chopin's Revolutionary Etude.  Recently, we were able to find a Seiler 9'2" concert grand at slightly above dealer price.  It was a presentation piano, less than fifteen years old, that the dealer had not been able to sell because almost no one has room for a piano that size.  I guess you could say that takes care of a lifetime of bucket lists.

My photo is of a Rodin sculpture titled Caryatid Crushed Beneath Her Stone, and it is a finished piece, although it is hard to make out.  My board name comes from the Metallica song rather than the movie, but I'll take Clint Eastwood as someone to emulate any day.  At the time I picked both out, I was being crushed by the burden that had fallen on my shoulders.  I once ttied to change my name when someone suggested it was too negative, but it can't be changed and neither can my original email address, it seems.  I might change the photo now that I am recovering myself.

I have done one thing I hoped to do before it was too late, and that was to ride a horse again.  For so long, we had cared for horses a person my size couldn't ride,  but the day we went down to meet and adopt Blue, I got right on him and rode as if it hadn't been thirty years since the last time I sat a horse.  At home, I have ridden him bareback without a bit in his mouth -- at age 70  no less.  Jfkoc was right about making new dreams as we go along.


Posted: Friday, November 22, 2019 5:51 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18843

Wonderful thread.

My mother was a concert father a sculptor and I actually made a documentary many years ago.

I have my mother's piano which she hand picked some 90 years ago for the touch of the keyboard and the sound. it sits idle but cherished in my living room.

I had to read about the Rodin and found this

Fallen Caryatid Carrying Her Stone

modeled 1881, cast 1981

Auguste Rodin FrenchAnother of the sculptures that Rodin extracted from The Gates of Hell, this crouching woman appears at the top of the left pilaster of The Gates. Rodin enlarged the figure and added a stone. The variant seems less weighted down by her stone than by some insupportable loss or nameless agony of soul.

Kick the bucket sounds like the

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