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Kicked out of Memory Care Facility
Others will come along with some excellent advice for you. Whatever happens, please Do Not take him back home. It’s not safe for any of you.
I’m sorry this is happening. Hopefully they will increase his meds.
You want to know that the problem does not stem from under trained staff or from reaction to a drug or an interaction between drugs.
Wow, Millenial, what a nightmare for you and your Dad. I don't have personal experience with this issue, but I would put a call into the Alz Association, see if they have any recommendations on how to find an MC that specializes in difficult behaviors.
So sorry this is where your journey has taken you all.
I'm so sorry that you are facing this issue.
Bakelite's suggestion of hiring your own social worker might be a good idea. Google geriatric care managers in your area. They would likely have experience in navigating this. Make it clear to the psych unit that you cannot take him home. They will have to help find placement for him.
I would also request documents from the original facility to make sure they were giving him the meds as prescribed. When we moved my mom to MC, one med didn't make it on the med list that was faxed from her doctor, and we discovered 2 weeks later she wasn't getting it. Make sure there was no error there.
The psych unit should be able to get him to the point where he is safe at a MC unit. The ER doctor may not have experience with dementia. You might give the Alzheimers Association hotline a call. Ask to speak to a care consultant. They are social workers who specialize in dementia stuff. They may have advice and be able to direct you to local resources. The service is free. 1-800-272-3900.
I am in south jersey and have some experience with my own parent re south jersey MC and difficult to place individuals, getting kicked out of facilities,etc. If you want to discuss places by name, or more frank detail send me a request to connect on private side of the board -- or I'll send you one if you're not sure how to do that.
There is one exclusively MC place in SJ that is known to take problematic MC residents and does pretty well with a geriatric psychiatrist who visits weekly but even that place does have limits. Last I knew you have to be able to pay privately for 2-3 years (not sure which) and sometimes they require a private duty attendant.
I agree with those who have suggested going beyond the hospital social worker to get private assistance help. There are a few geriatric care coordinators in SJ as well as elder law firms with accomplished social worker as part of their staff.
If you have an eldercare/family law attorney who helped you with the preparation of papers (wills, trusts, HIPPA, POA's) they should be able to direct you to which care facilities are an option. Often they know the best facilities and which currently have beds available. An outside social worker is another option. However, if the hospital attempts to discharge your father to you, you must state that he cannot come to your home because it is unsafe for him, you and your family and they must have a place he can go. They may try to argue with you about this, but they cannot legally dump a patient with a history of violence on you if you refuse to take him home. So stand your ground until this problem is resolved.
There should be places near you that provide care for PWD who have severe behavioral issues. I know that there are several in my state.(NC). I'm not able to PM you directly, so, I'll just list them here. I don't know the application process or any details.
Long Leaf Neuro-psychological Center, Wilson, NC
Black Mountain Neuro-psychological Center, Black Mountain, NC (Specifically for patients with violent behavior and dementia.) These are state run facilities.
There are others as well and they have websites that will provide you with more info.
I have experienced the terror of a loved one's aggression caused by Alzheimer's. There are some MC facilities that are not daunted by difficult behavior, like Arden Courts in Wayne, NJ. I would give them a call. Some places are far, far better than others in understanding that Alzheimer's sufferers cannot help their aggression and they find ways to deal with it without causing additional grief to the sufferer or the family.
MC, I just sent you a connection invite. Once you accept we can message each other.
You can click on the person's screen name and invite to connect, then it should let you message each other.
I sent you a message, just check your inbox.
While my mom did get sent out of her first nursing home to a geri psych unit, they social worker there helped me get her placed where she currently is. I hope you can find some answers here that will help you.
Sometimes there are very good reasons why someone with dementia is very agitated/combative. It could be the drugs and/or it could be what is being done (or not done) to them at the facility they are in. Yes, that nice looking, friendly place.
It could be they haven't been shown the bathroom all day and they are wet/dirty -- constantly (THIS HAPPENS OFTEN). Maybe they have "diaper rash" because of this, which can be painful. Maybe they have a UTI because of not being shown the bathroom all day (VERY common).
If you really want to verify what's going on, get someone to check if they have diaper rash. You'll need to be there when this is done so that you are given correct info.
Maybe the place is unbelievably boring.
I re-read the initial posting. My previous reply (just above) isn't completely applicable. Obviously, something goes on with the brain.
But, I've seen the environment play a major role in causing agitation. An environment filled with noise, confusion, activity, people, and sounds seems to overload the brain and create anger.
Ditto if someone also feels pain in/on their body. How do we even know if they have dental pain or vision/hearing issues. Or a headache. Or stomach ache.
I sent you a message. Check your inbox.
Good Luck. I hope you have found a caring facility.