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Caregivers Who Have Lost Someone
I Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer
It's summer and nearly a year since Sandy died in August. This song's words, vocals, and music all reflect what's going on in me.
I've accept that she died, but this song reflects the lingering pain this disease leaves with us. Stevie Wonder wrote it and Three Dog Night performed the version he admired the most. The song is ambiguous in whether the loved one left or died. That reminded me of how I felt when Sandy revealed she had no idea who I was. I still sit here at night and remember the times Sandy told me she wouldn't forget me or let this disease kill her. She left me in the summer of 2016, and I stayed with her until she died in the summer of 2019.
I never dreamed you'd leave in summerI thought you would go then come back homeI thought the cold would leave by summerBut my quiet nights will be spent alone[Verse 2]You said then you'd be warm love in springtimeYou said that is when you started to be coldI never dreamed you'd leave in summerBut now I find myself all alone[Verse 3]You said then you'd be the life in autumnThen you said you'd be the one to see the wayNo no no no no no! I never dreamed you'd leave in summer But now I find my love has gone away
Why didn't you stay?
I'm sad for you that your wife's wish to remember you always didn't seem to have happened. My mother also forgot who I was to her, but I loved her and I truly believe she loved me. That's all that mattered to me in the years I took care of her like I would a nonverbal child. Love, duty and more love is what made it possible for me to take care of her, no matter the hardships. It's also what is helping me heal from the loss.
I hope the year anniversary of your dear wife's passing will be cathartic and healing for you. Take good care!