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Happy 58th Birthday to Dear Husband
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 7:14 AM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 1167

Yesterday was DH's 58th Birthday. We made it a day long celebration, which was probably too long. DH stated he had a good time. He smiled big most of the day. DH danced with me again! Music really really gets him tapping his feet.

The day gave me a milestone to compare where we are now to where we were a year ago.


  1. We are in our (new to us) vintage home that was remodeled with great care to accommodate us as we age in place. We are no longer in a cramped apartment in a overcrowded city with too much traffic.
  2. My broken foot has healed.
  3. We now have a placard for disabled parking spaces.
  4. DH now takes Seroquel.
  5. DH is now wearing disposable briefs. DH needs significant toileting assistance. I consider myself a member of Wipers and Diapers also known as the blue glove club.
  6. DH eats almost exclusively with his fingers.
  7. DH's Apraxia is significantly more evident now. He needs assistance sitting in chairs.
  8. DH needs 24/7 supervision.
  9. DH can no longer take the dog for a walk.
  10. I am much more safety conscience since DH's explosive, suicidal behavior in May.
The disease continues to progress. I can't stop it. I am adapting and so is DH. I am grateful that he had a great day. 


White Crane
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 7:26 AM
Joined: 2/27/2017
Posts: 349

Dear lady Texan I’m glad your husband had a good day! We cherish those good days. My DH turned 81 on Tuesday and he also had a good day. He was exhausted and  confused at the end of the day but he was also happy. Thank the Lord for good days.
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 8:27 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13302

Happy 58th birthday to your dear husband!  Glad you both had a good day - those are the ones to remember.  Aren't you happy that you had him at home with you on this birthday?  I know how hard caregiving is but those times - like him dancing with you - are enough to get you through the hard times.  Cherish each one of them with all your might - take pictures of him - you'll be glad you did.  Wouldn't it be nice if you could get a picture of the two of you dancing together - is that possible?   Now, on to #59.
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 9:55 AM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 4515

Happy Birthday to DH. Glad he had a good day. And because he had a good day, so did you. That's a win-win. Don't let the music die.
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 11:15 AM
Joined: 12/10/2019
Posts: 215

  It’s hard not to look back over a year when you hit a milestone. 

      The list is a good one for tracking . 

    I’m glad your foot is healed .  

    Glad husband had a good day! 

   What happens with the chair? Is he sitting on the ends? 

Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 12:35 PM
Joined: 6/13/2020
Posts: 348

Happy birthday ! If I can say that.

It was my partner 52th birthday one month ago. I invited his colleagues. It was a nice evening. He was still able to participate. After that, he slept 18 hours the two next days. I try to continue to invite people, go out… we still can and it is summer, we absolutely must enjoy it.

We are Younger, but we are just one year after you. first symptoms summer 2017, sick leave April 2018, diagnosis May 2019.

Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 1:23 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 1167

Thank you all for the well wishes. The problem with sitting in chairs is that DH is unaware of the location of his body in relation to other things. 

  • DH may try to sit in an arm chair by sitting on the arm of the chair. 
  • When DH wants to sit in a dining chair, he looks at it with confusion. I point to or place my hand on the seat and say "put your butt here". Left to his own judgment, he may be three feet away from the dining table, so I push his chair in while I tell him step by step what I am doing.
  • For the lawn chairs, he tries to sit on just the corner of the chair. 
I get very anxious because I do not want him to fall. I try to be right next to him when there is a need to sit. Of course that includes the toilet too.

Joe C.
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 3:33 PM
Joined: 10/13/2019
Posts: 705

LT, Sending Birthday wishes to DH! You have been through an awful lot this past year and I’m glad things are good today.
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 4:06 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1472

Dear Lady,     Happy Birthday to your DH. Keep the music playing and don't let the dancing stop. You are a very special lady and a outstanding caregiver. Hugs Zetta
Posted: Thursday, July 22, 2021 7:43 PM
Joined: 10/24/2019
Posts: 557

So glad your DH and you both had a good birthday celebration.

Interesting year-ago look back.  What an eventful road you’ve been on.  I greatly admire your caregiving skill and tenacity.  You are an inspiration to us all!

Posted: Saturday, July 24, 2021 3:52 PM
Joined: 12/11/2018
Posts: 490

Dear Lady T,

I am so glad you both had a good day, though I know it was probably extra-tiring for you to make it so special. So young though. It just makes me sad/mad that there is not more and better help for PWD and those of us who love them. My birthday wish for your DH (and all of us) is, this will change in our lifetime. I know we all will have to work hard to make that a reality.

I was looking back today too...just found a birthday card from 7 years ago!  My DH was always meticulous about picking just the right card and adding his special thoughts to it. Reading this one, I was so glad he had included the date because it confirmed my recollection that in 2014, my DH was showing zero signs of the AD that was lurking in our future. 

I was not going to do anything special for his upcoming BDay since he is totally disoriented to time and place (and people) now. I am cousin, worker/helper, office worker, sister, wife, and even a guy (a couple of times). But you have given me something to think about. We have to celebrate what we can, when we can, while we can. So glad you two got to dance again! I agree, you are an amazing and inspirational caregiver. May you have many more special, enjoyable moments with your LO. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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