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Caregivers Who Have Lost Someone
I Found A Reason
It is possible to survive losing one so loved and finding love is still waiting to be found.
Almost two years to the day Sandy was taken away, I have found a reason to keep living....
Last month I decided to return to the ballroom dance floor where Sandy and I bonded first as dance partners and then as life partners.
The crowd consisted of about 60 people and I felt lost. With about 20 minutes left later and the crowd now about half that size, I saw HER sitting across from me at the next table.
I whispered WOW and a voice told me to ask her to dance.
I found out she also lost her relationship two years ago.
We used the last 10 minutes of the night dancing a Cha Cha and a Swing Dance.
The following week, after dancing together for three hours I asked her to be my dance partner and she said YES.
The following week, we had a picnic and danced and became a couple.
This week, we realized that "something" led us to finding each other and we are committed for as long as want to be together.
That's wonderful - how apt it is that you met at a place so important to both you and Sandy!
Having lost my husband a little over 4 months ago, I'm still at the point of not being able to imagine wanting, let alone finding, any other special relationship. But this week I moved to saying "never say never".
Enjoy your time together!
But this week I moved to saying "never say never".
I am glad you found happiness and I am sure Sandy would be also. Hugs Zetta
In my mind the dance floor is magical.
My husband asked me what I wanted for my 60th birthday. I told him a waltz.
Mind you, the man did not dance and my request would have included some lessons.
He opted for knee replacement instead!
Would you please dance a waltz for me?
I'll let you know how it went later.
Hi, we did a waltz last night that I’m sure you would have enjoyed!
Army_Vet60, I’m so happy for you. Your Sandy led your way to find your new companion.
My DH has been gone for only 10 months but I would also like to find someday a companion to make my life more bearable.
Best to you!
We had nothing else in common, period, and too many conversations were ending in mutual tension...
After nearly two months, I told her I couldn't see this leading to a long term relationship, and suggested we accept friendship and dancing to preserve that much before things got worse. She understood so we're developing a friendship based on ballroom dancing.
This was a big step forward for me. I was able to meet someone, take the initiative to get to know her, and make the right decision when I realized this was wrong for both of us.
I didn't reject her because she wasn't Sandy, but Sandy taught me what makes a healthy, loving relationship work. I found out I can't take a step back from that, and the result is I found a new friend instead.
I am happy for you that you have found a friend to be happy with. As for myself it has only been a few months that I lost my DH to Alzheimer and it is difficult for me to move on. My DH died in my arms and it is as if part of me died with him. We were married over 40 years and I don't know if there could ever be someone else because I would be comparing and that would not be fair to another person. Of course I am still in the early stages of grieving but each day does not really get better. If someone else can find happiness after losing a loved one than that is a blessing. Being the mostly the sole caregiver of my DH for four years with little help from Hospice at the end, will take me a long time to recover mentally and emotionally.
I wish you the very best.
I am happy for you that you have found a friend to be happy with. As for myself it has only been a few months that I lost my DH to Alzheimer and it is difficult for me to move on. My DH died in my arms and it is as if part of me died with him.
Have you considered Grief Counseling? My wife's Hospice offered it to me and I stayed with it for about 18 months. It got me through some really dark times through the first six months after my wife's death.
If you're not in counseling, I hope you'll consider it. It does help to have someone to talk to who can give you constructive feedback.