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Misleading and manipulating husband
Because I also have a mom with dementia( officially MCI), and a difficult step-dad, I can relate to your story. My step-dad has several physical ailments that will eventually take him. Might have cognitive issues himself. His kids will occasionally be around for a few weeks but his behavior chases them away just as it has for decades. I have medical POA for both of them, but only full POA on her. They are in assisted living. I would love to have them in two separate facilities but they can’t afford that. Plus my mom is co-dependent towards him and would be crying for him an hour after a move like that. Their doctor advised me to walk back some for my own mental health. He reminded me they are in a safe place.
My suggestion to you: Walk back for your own mental health. Your kids need you to be involved with their lives. They need to see you up and about in your own life so that they will get up and attend school etc. Encourage all discussion of your mom being placed in a facility. It will be a much safer and more pleasant experience for her than living at home with your step-dad. There will be people to talk to and have activities with. She will receive care and be fed. She won’t be screamed at by him. Interaction between the two of them will be supervised by others.
I would not pursue guardianship for either of them as long as he lives if I were you.
You cannot change everything and everyone else even though you can see that their situation is unacceptable. This is one of those situations- except you can encourage placement so that she will at least be away from him.