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Mom with Extreme Anger - Need Advice
Bertterry
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 8:49 AM
Joined: 9/4/2021
Posts: 3


Hi there!  My Mom just moved back to MA from FL over the summer so we could help my Dad care for her.  She finally was diagnosed with ALZ recently, although she doesn't believe she has it of course.  They moved in with us in August, and her mood has gone down hill since.  She says she hates it up here because it's cold & she can't go anywhere....and now thinks that a moving company came yesterday to evaluate their belongings & is coming today to relocate them back to FL with her best friends.  All she does is yell, scream, have temper tantrums, etc.  Any suggestions on how to calm her down?  I haven't cried this much in my life

We have so much info to read up on & have met with some wonderful folks.....just need to find the time to sort through all the info & get started with a plan for her.  Looking for ideas on where to start......thanks!!


Marta
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 8:58 AM
Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 1151


Speak with her healthcare provider about getting her on some medication. 

Google Teepa Snow videos about communication with a PWD. 


Neverends
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 9:09 AM
Joined: 1/10/2022
Posts: 27


Hello and welcome ☺  change is hard for someone with dementia, routines are so important.  Familiar surroundings  with some of her things might help. I don't know how bad your moms memory is and you might not agree or want to do this but white lies help. What you tell them at the moment  will help to calm them down.   Acknowledge  their frustration, they pick up on the tone in your voice and the look on your face. Approach is everything.  My mother has - 10 recall what I tell her this second is immediately  forgotten.  So if she's yelling and screaming about wanting to go back." OK mom. We will go in the morning." Sometimes it's immediate satisfaction sometimes  its isn't. Hang in there, hugs
Neverends
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 9:14 AM
Joined: 1/10/2022
Posts: 27


Yes medication is a lifesaver. I totally agree.
Bertterry
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 9:26 AM
Joined: 9/4/2021
Posts: 3


Thank you!  She is currently on 3 meds, but she fights us to take them most of the time.....
Neverends
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 10:06 AM
Joined: 1/10/2022
Posts: 27


How do you get her to finally take them? So frustrating.  I was finding pills around my house sooo my mother was spitting  them out.  Now I watch her and I do a mouth check which she is cooperative  with.  Crushing the pills and putting them in pudding  or applesauce  helps. Just  make sure they can be crushed.  Sometimes they hate the taste sometimes they don't notice. It's a balancing act for sure.
Bertterry
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 10:44 AM
Joined: 9/4/2021
Posts: 3


We beg & plead with her when she fights us about taking pills.  Tell her that they are to prevent her from getting dementia like her sister (who does have it (VD) & in assisted living).  We watch to make sure they go in and down with a drink.  Very frustrating for sure!
SusanB-dil
Posted: Thursday, January 13, 2022 2:12 PM
Joined: 9/10/2021
Posts: 99


Hi Bert - not alone with the meds!  You can search in the forums for various ideas. Hopefully, you might find something that works.  But do tell her doc what is happening and the severity.   One thing our LO does remember is having a stroke.  We tell her that she pleeeease neeeeeeds to take her meds to keep her stable and prevent another. I guess similar to telling your LO there is a reason for her to take hers.  (We also have to watch that she doesn't hide any.)   And so very odd, the evening ones are not too much trouble.
Paris20
Posted: Friday, January 14, 2022 1:51 PM
Joined: 5/30/2019
Posts: 241


My husband’s rages were becoming very scary. I had resisted medication for him. That was a big mistake. Antidepressants were not good enough but Seroquel, an antipsychotic, was a godsend. With Alzheimer, our options are limited. We need to do what works. Rational discussion is not one of our options.
 
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