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Hospice called police
Hi. I am new here. My dad is caring for my mom which is 3 hours from my home. We have a deposit on a MC place and waiting on the eval from them to move her in. In the meantime, we got hospice set up. Today they were trying to give my mom a bath and she was being combative and so my dad slapped her. The aid called the police when she left and they showed up at my parents house obviously and he had to provide a statement. I am sure this is a legal step that she has to report it. My question is will this cause my mom to be refused from the MC?
And as you all know, my dad is at the end of his rope. He needs help which we are trying to get him. I don't blame him for the slap. He loves her. He can't handle her anymore.
You know trixinTexas...I feel very bad for your dad. Caregiving is extremely hard. I care for my mom, and I cannot do it. My POA sister and I are going to get her into a home. So hat is off to your dad for doing the best he can under the circumstances!
My dad has dementia and is a terrible hoarder. I tried to help him and we got into a big fight about his stuff. I almost punched him. I turned away and hit my truck instead. He got scared and walked away. I still have a hard time being around him because unless we are just talking about life, he will berate me and be a complete jerk. I'm going to visit him this Sunday. He lives with my youngest sister. I do a lot of writing, so I am bringing a notebook with me to take notes and I will write a story about him and NOT TOUCH HIS STUFF AT ALL!!!
So the bottom line is your dad has to try harder to control himself. If your mom gets combative, he just needs to stop, start talking about something completely different, wait a bit and then try again after he gets her smiling or laughing. He has to remember that she has no control over herself, so he needs to just stop and not react. Give it a minute or two and try again. If she is still combative, hug her, and wait until the next day.
I don't think this will cause her to be refused for memory care. If anything this might actually help because the overall goal is to keep her safe. So people will do whatever is necessary to keep her safe and your dad going. I'm sure this isn't the first case of bad reactions and it will definitely not be the last.
The aid did what she's legally required to do. But your dad will probably have to answer for that.
Just remember your mom cannot help it. She is very confused and scared. Fight or flight mode will kick in. It is very important to keep a calm environment .
Good luck! We got ya!
Since the police were called, there may now be a social worker involved . . . and this may not be all bad news. They may be able to facilitate getting Mom into LTC more quickly. Don't hesitate to call the police to see what their report says and what Social Services are involved.
Don't worry too much about Mom being rejected from MC for this incident. If she does, it was definitely not a good place for her to be. You want her to be in a facility where they have the skills to handle a resistant patient. Some facilities only want the little old ladies in a wheelchair and they will eventually get rid of everyone else by sending them to a psych hospital at the first behavioral problem. You don't want that.