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Mom ignores me now
I’m sorry for these struggles. I take it your mom is in a facility? If I missed something in your explanation sorry. I’m my mother’s primary caregiver. There have been many times I feel as you do. She’ll be happy anyone else is around, other than me. My mom will roll her eyes at someone else in the room but regarding me. She even tells her cat she loves her, but not me. I understand your feelings.
I wonder if your mom isn’t sure who you are? Or maybe she’s stuck in a negative memory of you? You might offer treats or gifts when you visit? I do think your mom will benefit from any and all visitors in some way. If you need to limit your visits for you, that’s reasonable. Your mental health is important too.
I don’t take my moms negativity personally anymore. I just enter the room smiling and friendly just as a nurse or CNA would if they were her primary caregivers. I take care of the business at hand and move on. She still gets annoyed at me or whatever it is but its just not important anymore. Her safety and well being is my top priority. Maybe in a previous season her passive aggressive self would be even more annoyed that her treatment of me isn’t effective but today it doesn’t matter. As I get to know my mom as her new self it’s so counterproductive for me to take things personally, for both of us. All this is likely making me a stronger person, even more confident, in a bizarre way.
I hope you can find a good way to cope with all this and again I’m so sorry for your hurt feelings.
Sometimes one person is a trigger for the PWD. When that happens, the PWD will likely react to that person with really bad actions, so I hope that person is not you.
This dementia road is very hard, and I'm sorry it's so bad for you. Visiting with others might be a good idea for a while. Maybe she'll eventually warm up to you. Wishing you the best.
Sorry you are going through that. This happens with my FIL - he has one person at any given time that he ignores or lashes out at. Usually it’s me, sometimes DH, sometimes the caregiver and sometimes all of us. He will be positive with DH and out of the blue point at me and say “You, get out of here!” Or some other mean thing.
I try to do like M&M says and not take it personally, but it still gets to me sometimes.
After reading your response to my response I have to say I still get sad, of course, when things are difficult. I still lose my cool sometimes. Yuck! Also my mother has lost three of her front teeth so far, under my care. She had her four top, front teeth “fixed” with some type of cap or something before she was compromised by this disease. I’m waiting for the other front tooth to fall out since it’s made of the same product. They seemed to be her pride and joy when brushing her teeth, they were the only ones she focused on, if they were clean then all was well. Ugh! Anyway, it’s so very sad to me, she’d be horrified if she truly knew what was happening. Her vanity wouldn’t stand a chance.
Jeesh, this so hard.
That ... sucks. It's going to happen, which doesn't make it suck less, but it's definitely going to be hard on you absorbing all that.If it's any consolation, you know they're not sure who they are, but they're probably not sure who you are either, or if this is a dream.