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National Coming Out Day
Posted: Wednesday, October 12, 2022 5:27 PM
Joined: 5/11/2022
Posts: 259

So yesterday was National Coming Out Day. Due to me living with my queerphobic dad and mom not being in a position to understand, I've decided to not come out. Instead, I'm taking a different approach, one that I have more control over. 

It's called "coming in" and the concept is slowly "inviting people in" to my lived experience and just being myself. It has them asking me, not me telling them, on who I am and what my identities are. A lot of marginalized queer people already do this as it's safer for them than "coming out" and I think it's a wonderful concept.

I know probably the majority of visitors to this board probably would find this irrelevant to their needs, but I just wanted to share this, since my previous post here has me venting.

At first I was going to wait until mom's passing to be more open with my identity but I realized that that's just not applicable, especially since dad came home yesterday complaining that NCOD was a thing and started yelling hateful comments. I'm not coming out, but I am letting others come in and dad's not a part of it.

At the end of the month I will be attending my first transgender support group! I'm anxious and nervous but excited that I'm not holding back anymore for people who don't care. Thank you for listening and hope y'all are okay out there.

Posted: Wednesday, October 19, 2022 11:19 PM
Joined: 1/1/2021
Posts: 491

Cats, I'm always happy and admiring of the way you cope with the situation you find yourself in. My dad "came out" after my mom died (following 63 years of marriage) and there are a lot of queer/trans/questioning people in my family. I hope you find safe and happy places in your life.
Posted: Monday, October 31, 2022 6:49 PM
Joined: 5/11/2022
Posts: 259

Thank you sandwich! I appreciate that a lot. The roads in life that we travel are long and toilsome but I'm sure I'll find my place sooner or later. Just gotta keep my chin up until then and ask help from friends along the way
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