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Three years this week
Quilting brings calm
Posted: Monday, November 21, 2022 9:44 PM
Joined: 10/16/2020
Posts: 1246

My parents have been in assisted living for 3 years this week.  The 18-24 months before that brought noticeable issues, culminating in that UTI that the doctors refuse to believe existed, which allowed it to turn into urosepsis. .  

Since then, we’ve had the covid epidemic which caused them to be restricted to the facility for a year except for medical appointments. I was their grocery shopper, etc.  Mom has developed neuropathy in her feet and hands, been treated for anxiety and depression, but seems solidly still in stage 4( even though the NP says it’s MCI).  Still walks with the aid of a walker.   Step-dad was hospitalized twice in 2021, his thyroid cancer in his lungs is stable, his emphysema seems stable, and he’s been diagnosed  with stage 4 dementia by a neuropsychologist.  He uses his walker only around the facility,  being too proud to take it anywhere else. Shuffles next to the wall otherwise. 

The AL is on its 5th director in about a year and a half, it’s 7th or 8th nurse in 3 years, and it’s second office manager in that time. Plus other staff turnover   

In a week, my spouse and I will head south for a month.  The first vacation we’ve ever taken that’s longer than a week, and I don’t think we’ve been gone for a week at a time in longer  than  3 years. We really need this, our first retirement trip.  These three years have brought our own health challenges.   The AL has assured me that they can handle things while I am gone. 

I never  thought this would be my life until it was … and I’m still at the beginning of this long journey. 3 years just seemed like a good time to reflect.  I’ve come to rely on all of you for advice, support, encouragement, warnings when needed, etc.  Thank you. 


Posted: Tuesday, November 22, 2022 12:08 AM
Joined: 8/22/2020
Posts: 3011

Have a great trip Q.
Posted: Tuesday, November 22, 2022 7:15 AM
Joined: 9/10/2021
Posts: 482

agreeing with M1 - enjoy.   You need and deserve this break from everything.
and "I never  thought this would be my life until it was … "   oh how I can relate to that!

Quilting brings calm
Posted: Tuesday, November 22, 2022 7:56 AM
Joined: 10/16/2020
Posts: 1246

Thank you.  I should add that even though we’ve rented a place for the full month, we will be back for several days after the first week.  Mom has the long awaited appointment at the neuropathy clinic, and my spouse has an area event to attend the same day.  Do I want to add an extra round trip of 12 hours each way?  No, but it takes months to get into this clinic and mom cancelled the previous  first appointment in March  because I could not take her( my back injury) and she and dad saw  a small amount of snow on the ground and cancelled that appointment. So I’m making sure she gets there and that the doctor tries something to ease her pain. 

Our older son is flying down for that first week to stay with us, and our younger son is doing so over Christmas week.   

mommyandme (m&m)
Posted: Tuesday, November 22, 2022 12:48 PM
Joined: 2/16/2020
Posts: 875

Hope you have a fabulous time and you get the recharge and joy that you deserve!
Posted: Tuesday, November 22, 2022 11:18 PM
Joined: 4/7/2019
Posts: 465

Oh my gosh!  Have a wonderful time!  You very much deserve this.
Posted: Wednesday, November 23, 2022 12:08 AM
Joined: 4/20/2021
Posts: 216

QBC, have you told your mom and stepdad that there isn’t very good cell phone service where you’ll be staying? So if they call or text, they might not get a response right away. Just sayin’… Enjoy!
Posted: Sunday, November 27, 2022 6:39 PM
Joined: 1/6/2022
Posts: 13

can the AL take her  to the appointment??
Quilting brings calm
Posted: Monday, November 28, 2022 5:54 AM
Joined: 10/16/2020
Posts: 1246

The transport person can take them, but doesn’t go into the appointment.  He’s the  jack of all trades maintenance guy for the facility. Mom needs someone  to help guide the discussion with the doctor.   My spouse has an event in the area with our younger son the same  day, so I’ve got to come home anyway.   He doesn’t drive at night. 

At this point, this long awaited much needed appointment for mom may get cancelled. Saturday, Nov 26,  the AL facility went on lockdown for covid.  So far my parents are fine.  I will be cancelling my step-dads annual cardiology appointment that was for today  as soon as the clinic call center opens this morning.   The clinic doesn’t want people there that have been exposed.   The cardiology appointment is sort of anticlimactic anyway.  His lungs aren’t strong enough for any surgery - they worry about them collapsing when they do lung biopsies on the lung nodules.  I’m hopeful that mom’s appointment can be kept since it’s not until December 9th. 

Pat- that’s a good idea about the cell service.  It might not work as the area I’m going is where they wintered for several years, and then lived year round for three years. 

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