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It's over(2)
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 12:46 PM
Joined: 8/2/2015
Posts: 148

April 6, 2012: This was the day our lives changed forever with a stroke that eliminated all language, the day I lost all communication with my companion and husband since 1967. These almost 11 years have been a downward slope in every way, and now he's gone. One would think I'd be ready for his final breath, but I wasn't. I will always love him.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 1:01 PM
Joined: 5/1/2019
Posts: 249

I am so sorry and understand how you feel.  My dh passed away on December 6, not even 2 months yet.  My emotions are all over the place.  I'm finding this is normal.  I hope you get support from family and friends during the coming weeks.  Let them help. Prayers

Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 1:11 PM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 7252

LilySue, I'm sorry for your loss. It has now been 7 months for me. It's true that there is no getting ready. When it becomes final, the hurt is unbelievable. This is not an easy time, but we all have to get through this. I hope you have family to help you. If you feel like you need grief counseling, there are plenty of places in just about any locality. Please continue to post.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 1:13 PM
Joined: 10/10/2021
Posts: 1210

I am so sorry. Prayers for you and your family. I don’t think anyone can ever truly be prepared to lose the ones we love. Wishing you peace and strength for coming days and weeks.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 2:07 PM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 4148

Lilysue I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear husband.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 2:35 PM
Joined: 12/12/2021
Posts: 467

LilySue I am so sorry for your loss. We can never be prepared for such a devastating loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 2:51 PM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 1121


I was saddened to read of the passing of your DH.  It wasn’t long ago (August, maybe) when we were comparing the progression of our DH’s on this forum.  They seemed to be at about the same place and you were lamenting (as do I) that he had been “gone” for the many years since his diagnosis.  I understand from your post that although the long goodbye is painful, the final goodbye is much, much worse.  I am truly sorry for your loss. Although inevitable, it’s still unexpected and almost unbearable.

I am wondering whether your Tongan family who joined in your caregiving still live with you or nearby.  They must be equally heartbroken, but hopefully some comfort to you.  I will keep you, DH and all your family in my prayers.  Bless you all.  



White Crane
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 3:24 PM
Joined: 2/27/2017
Posts: 630

Lily Sue, I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you’re in my prayers.
Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2023 6:15 PM
Joined: 4/17/2018
Posts: 1239

Lily sue I am so sorry for your loss. Others have expressed what I would like to say. I will keep you in my prayers.
Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2023 12:54 PM
Joined: 12/31/2018
Posts: 844

LilySue, I'm so sorry for your loss. May the Lord bless you with peace and strength to get through this difficult time.
Joe C.
Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2023 5:08 PM
Joined: 10/13/2019
Posts: 1066

LilySue, My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find some peace in the days ahead.
Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2023 5:19 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21306

Please add my condolences.

No, there is no "ready" and yes, you will always love him.

I hope you will continue to be a part of this forum as you start to now put one foot in front of the other. Many of us here have lost their loved one and still post. Stage 8 is real and we are here to listen and support you.



Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2023 5:28 PM
Joined: 1/30/2021
Posts: 148

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's been a long road for you two.  God bless you LilySue.  I hope you have support from family and friends.
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2023 8:38 AM
Joined: 7/26/2019
Posts: 165

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a long endless journey.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.   I've been going through this the past two years.
But now is the time that we start thinking about ourselves.  No one can take better care of us than ourselves.  

Posted: Friday, January 27, 2023 8:30 PM
Joined: 4/12/2019
Posts: 393

I am so sorry for your loss.  Emotional pain has no bounds.  It can be intolerable.

I rely upon medication and my therapist just to make it through every day (I'm severely disabled, with a condition that involves lots of neuromuscular pain)....so I cannot begin to imagine the increase with the pain of grief.  But it will come, unless I pass first.

Find the tiniest HOPE for the future, only HOPE and LOVE can make this bearable.

Love, Elaine

Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2023 12:21 AM
Joined: 8/2/2015
Posts: 148

I certainly recognized the similarities in our situations after reading your posts, and felt comforted that there was such a fellow traveler on this very difficult journey. 

Our Tongan caregiver family has lived with us for 8 years, and will remain until they find other arrangements, possibly until the end of the school year. Both their sons, 5 and 7, know no other home. After all this time they're more family than employees. When they moved in to care for DH, none of us imagined they'd be with us so long.

Our adult children are helping me cope during this sad time and I'm so grateful.  The three of them are married and live close by with families of their own, but right now they're taking turns visiting every day. We'll be going together the end of the week to bring DH's ashes home, such a sad chore. 


Posted: Friday, February 3, 2023 6:05 AM
Joined: 5/30/2019
Posts: 498

LilySue, I’m very sorry for your loss. Even though we know what’s ahead, there’s just so much preparation we can set up in our minds. Even after eight years of dealing with DH’s AD, I don’t know how I’m going to react when my husband’s journey ends.
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