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'Memory care,' suggestion?
Posted: Thursday, March 8, 2012 1:14 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

This is the weirdest experience of my life, lol.


Just as I was about to ''give up'' - lunch was hard, very tiring, Mom didn't want to eat, she was tired from the morning, even though had a nap, her tummy bothered her...yesterday I was under the impression the s/t would help her with lunch, today she was there in the morning so - no...


I did get her to eat a yogurt in her room after lunch, before her nap...I think we should have had something to eat before going to the dining area, like the other day...she did eat some rice pudding, a little soup, a little stew, some protein shake...


I was thinking about how not to have to go through that again, when my father said that we're having lunch tomorrow in the Memory Care, with the admissions person, or someone like that.


Wow!  I was happy to hear that, because then we can expend a little less energy!  And relax more, perhaps.  Easier on Mom. ?  I hope!


Should I go?  I'm invited, but I don't want to go.  I've been there before, and ''approve.''  I wouldn't mind going another time but wouldn't it be best for my mom to be there without me?  In the beginning, and even now, the s/t and other therapists don't really want us around, so they can assess my mom without us as ''crutches.''


Should I go?  Oh wait, I said that, lol.


I'm also concerned about my father.  Several times this week, he has forgotten things.  Just kind of - blank.  When I talk to him, he doesn't remember this or that.  maybe he's stressed - but???


When I said I didn't really want to go, he said, well then how will you know what it's like?


I told him, I'm the one who's been wanting Mom to be there!  Every time I've mentioned it here, I've been mentioning it to him as much!  In person, and in notes before he leaves to go there.


I told him so and so had given me a tour, months ago.  I told him, when such and such family members were visitng the day after Christmas.  He remembers that, I think.  But I am the one who brought it up, got him to go on a tour, talk to them about it...


I just kind of stared at him because I was so startled.  I know he's tired - but really?  He didn't really remember any of the above.


If I ''should'' go, of course I'll go.  but this is different from two months ago, when I saw it.  I know how much time has passed and how my mom has improved - but also how she had a step backward.  I don't think there'll be an issue with her moving right now - I told her, it's closer to Dad, and if he's there, and her clothes and personal items - should be no problem. In fact, the rooms there are nicer than the nursing and more ''cozy.''


Thanks for any help!

Posted: Thursday, March 8, 2012 10:27 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

Well, I am going to try to go to the lunch.  It's the only way I'll be able to see my mom's reaction and see what she might think.


It also helped that I found out she wasn't getting her thyroid med (''refusing,'' cough, as in the doctor's words).  Lunch wasn't so great today, she actually told me to leave at one point.  But I know she didn't feel well...dinner was a lot better.


I am so darn tired from this whole crazy week, though.

Posted: Friday, March 9, 2012 9:39 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

Oh well, we ''lost'' the room.  I get so discouarged.


So we're not having lunch.  I just wanted things to move on, to see if it's right for my mom.


This felt like a move towards that.


Ok, don't have much more energy right now!


My mom might feel better as time goes on, with some things, but my father in general is not liking this memory care idea...what matters is what my mom thinks, not him...


She will either react well to it, or not...


You know, I'm really stuck, lol.  I can't get him to start staying there, so I have time to think, and I can't get her in memory care, which might be good for her.


I am so worn out.  sigh.



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