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Caregivers Who Have Lost Someone
1 month ago today, dad left us
I can't believe it has been a month. I can't believe I don't feel much better, past it further. I miss dad so much sometimes I just can't stand it! I haven't even brought it up to mom that it is a month today. She did say to me "On Monday your dad and I would have been married 65 years" I told her she still would be. She smiled a little but I know she is so heartbroken.
I had to take the picture I had of dad and me off of my bedroom wall. It was taken when I first got married at the young age of 21 and he wasn't happy that day. lol..but he looks so handsome, at his best. I had to remove it, I can't bear looking at it every day.
It seems I take 1 step forward and 10 steps back...guess I will do this dance for a long time.
I actually feel worse-I'm at 1 month and 3 weeks. Most of it is because I haven't found a support group that meets when I can attend (I work afternoon shift) around here so I'm casting my net in a wider area. I'm still talking to the dogs, lol.
I've made plans to take a beading class that goes for 4 Saturdays next month, so I'm filling in some time and have something to look forward to.
I've been able to put up a couple of pictures of mom when she was healthy on the refrigerator, so that's some progress. I don't think I'd like to tackle a photo album right now.
I'm so sorry you are grieving I know first hand how you feel. My daddy died on May 2nd just a few weeks ago. It's kind of like a roller coaster ride. One day you feel like you will be able to smile again and the next day or even over the next few hours you feel so much pain it radiates all the way to your toes.
I find that remembering a funny thing my dad said or did helps me during the difficult times and i find myself smiling. I"m just taking a day at a time and i cry when i need to and last night i even got angry with him for leaving me. I am allowing myself to mourn my loss, to hurt to cry to be angry and to love the memories that he left for me.
I believe in heaven and that my dad is whole and healed and that i will see him again.
Know that you will heal in time, we both will. Until we heal know that you aren't alone that our pain is normal that crying is ok. Talk to me when you want we can go through this together.
BTW my parents were married for 62 yrs and I live with my mom so I see the pain she feels to.
I know the pain that you're feeling and the first few months were just devastating after my mom died. It was extremely difficult to comprehend that she was gone. I missed her desperately! And there was this constant onslaught of memories of her last few days, weeks, and months, that would hit me for no reason it seemed and they were so hard to get out of my head.
This is the place to come when you need support from others who know how you're feeling.