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Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 5:14 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 338

I was just curious if you had contacted a professional counselor? I know that you have the means to do so and since you are not a faith based, universe energy person perhaps a professional therapist would be best for you.

I know you need someone besides your DH to speak to. My mother is off visiting my brother and before she left I did not want to share my grief with her because I knew her sorrow was so deep. Although, I do think family should share with one another. After all, we are the ones that truly loved this person. I do cry on my DH's shoulder but I try and protect my mom. As I said before I am blessed to have my brother who helps me so very much. He is just amazing.

I am glad you find some relief here. I do as well but there is something missing here for me. I don't know if its because everyone is so sad and everyone is grieving that I just don't feel like unloading here as much. I could be wrong but unloading my grief on all of the others suffering here just seems like an oxymoron. I care so much about all of those here and I hope we all can find some relief. I wish you the best. Its really hard to move through grief, it is like walking in mud or quicksand. It is a slow go for me.

Stellar Daughter-In-Law
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2012 8:16 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 295



I am so truly touched to come on here tonight and see your post for me.  In the midst of what you are going through, to take the time to think about me and what I am experiencing is so thoughtful and giving.  Thank you.


I have tried many times in the past at therapy: When I had an eating disorder in my early twenties, when I had cancer, when I was dealing with the stress of caregiving. I have never found it very helpful.  I guess I have not found a therapist that I really jive with.  There have been many times when the search to find a therapist has felt like more stress added to the situation.  I am not sure I want to go through that again right now.


And yet, I do think you have a good point: it is helpful to find someone I can talk to outside of my husband and friends who are not quite meeting my needs at the moment.  Yes, coming to this board is really helpful.  And yet we all need so much and are not going to gush our hearts out to each other.  There is only so much someone in grief can give to another person in grief.  (Same thing with me and my husband!) 


When I was going through caregiving stress I did find a counselor I liked.  He was Buddhist.  He had a very "what you see is what you get" perspective about life and I liked it.  I only went to two sessions because the billing with my insurance company took so many hours and hours of work, that it ultimately made therapy too stressful and not worth it.  (Damn, those insurance companies, I guess that is how they save money - make you want to give up on using your mental health benefits!)  I live in a different city now.  But perhaps I can find some kind of counselor to talk to who was like this guy.  I'll think about it and let you know what I come up with. 


Thanks for your caring thoughts.

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