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The Dummy I am....
Posted: Friday, October 19, 2012 8:31 PM
Joined: 6/21/2012
Posts: 47

 As most of you gentle readers know, I like to cook. Sure, you remember.  How about my ice cream bread. Speaking of that, no one has reported how they liked it.  It hard to get passed that first ingredient of this "complicated recipe." Well let's go back to that dummy does it again.

The other night, Ya, I am sure it was night.  It was dark outside and I had the lamp on so those are pretty reliable signs it was night. Between you and me some people say I am always in the dark. I don't know what they meant, But you know, people say the funniest things, at the funniest times too. Well there you go, I am digressing again.

Anyhow, Let us get back on track before I forget what I was going to say. I know you are waiting with baited breath to hear "the rest of the story." Humm, wasn't there a movie or something like that that had in it's script-that's movie talk ya'll know.

Well back again to dummy before I forget what the heck, (note that is a substitution for a bad word) We clergy like folk don't use the other word to often cause if you do attendance is down and so is the plate. NO not food...the offering plate.

Well, this particular night I was going to cook one of those Publix Market dishes that they are always a giving out samples of. I got the stuff I need for the dish. No not a plate but a resipe ( that doesn't look right) that's recipe...that's better, I think. But you know you can't be sure if your a dummy.

So anyhow, This particular night I decided to make the Publix dish. I checked everything twice and had my apron on backwards. Sort of like my shorts problem a few weeks ago. This time I discovered early on not like the shorts. So being proud of my discovery I reversed the apron so it was frontwards. Well any way, I started to make that Publix dish it was country fried steak. I buy that a lot when I at Perkins off the senior side of the menu. So I was off and cooking. everything was ready for a complete disaster. Cans opened, noddles cooking in boiling salted water complete with a dash of virgin olive oil, my favorite oil. Next I moved on to the cube steaks flouring, dipping in egg and the italian bread crumbs and into the frying pan. with some oil in it. You know the virgin kind.  Problem, I forgot to turn the burned on. I was kind of wondering why nothing was happening for a while till I made the discovery. I could feel the heat but nothing, nada was happening. The reason was I had turned the back burn on rather than the front. We have a glass top stove, so that is aways messing with me. Well I got that straightened out and things really start going fast. Those  flour, egged, and breaded pieces of cube steak began their dance in the pan. You know what? yep, your right they started to spit at me. Well I fixed that in a hurry with one of those giant anti spatter or spit and you wire pan covers. Frankly, I think the guy who invented it made a lot of money ripping people off. The truth be known it works ok with spatting food but not if it is also spitting. Believe me, I got an apron to prove it and along with some other stuff God knows what on it. 

Now for the grand conclusion gentle reader,I had to make the Country fried Steak Sauce. Ha, Ha. You guess it that is if you are still awake...some people go to bed early ya know. Well I dumped the evaporated milk (why the call it that beats me I could see it in the pan) I added the country gravy powder in and low and be hold the stuff just lumped up like cue balls in a pan. Well I didn't give up, I check the recipe for the 3rd, 4th, 5th maybe time and discovered I forgot to cup of water.  It was hard to see because the cup is clear and so is the water...in it went. spilled some of the mixture that I was whisking the balls of gravy mix and yep you get it. Good for you! some drip out of the pan on to the glass stove burner and away we go. It's smoking.  Well a better term is burning and yep it starts smoking up; the place. So I just turned on the fan over the burners. and sort some paper towels to mop up with.  Bad, Bad Idea. Besides almost setting the kitchen on fire. the darn sauce I was trying desperately to make suddenly got a life of its own and foamed up out the pan and onto the hot glass burner. Well not to be deterred and dedicated to see it to the end I quickly mover the pan, turned down the heat  and whisked away. Got rid of the cue balls and everything seemed fine. So being the great chef I am I plated up the meal. and delivered a plate to my wife. That was good, what wasn't was I forgot to turn the burn off under the sauce. when I plated my meal, I saw that and turn it off-quick thinking on my part. When my beautiful, adorable wife cleaned up the kitchen I hear some words being said. I could make then out to clearly which was just as well. You see when I was fooling around with the gravy I burned the Hell, I  mean heck, out of the bottom of the pan. Oh ya, the milk did evaporate. The pan is still in the sink soaking just like it has for the last couple of days and someone keeps reminding me to clean it. 

Well I learned something, the next time I have a bright or dim idea, depending on how you look at it to do it again. We are going to Perkin's for sure. Now I know why there is so many places to eat here in Summerville, SC...I may not be alone.


Disclaimer: any spelling, grammatical or and other assorted errors it ain't my fault. It's gotta be Mr. Alzheimer's fault.


Posted: Monday, October 22, 2012 3:21 PM
Joined: 12/5/2011
Posts: 795

Hi Kay,


I'm sorry I am unable to read your posts.  They are too long and not broken by paragraphs or spaces.


I would love to read your postings.  Is there any way you can use paragraphs and spaces???




Peace and Hope,


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