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3 years.......down the path......
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 5:38 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 149

Monday 11 March marked 3 years since My darling Mum also happened to be the day i had to release YumYum her beautiful golden cat to go and be with her....Rough week....but I managed......most times i just catch a glimpse of the sorrow as it passes by.....

Lots of things have changed in the last year, I divorced my spouse, I did lots of home projects and got a job....the two years before I treaded water, and slogged through quicksand...but found solid ground again...

I have received small signs that she and Dad are keeping an eye on me, and that has bouyed my spirits when I needed it most.....

Today is my birthday...and I was doing ok, and then I got a text from a cousin, who i dont hear from much with a picture of Mum and Dads gravesite, with flowers and the caption " all set for spring" Now, I suppose she meant well...BUT....for crying out loud.....that really isn't what I needed...

I spent my birthday 3 years ago at the funeral home making the final payment for the funeral the next REALLY?????

In the past I would have let it go..but this time after many deep breaths, I sent her a message back that tho I appreciate the thought behind her putting the flowers out, it was really the last thing I needed  today.....She will likely be pissed, and you know what...I don't really give a rats a$$.......

She gets a bug up her backside every few months and decides not to talk to me.....for  whatever reason, and i just dont have it in me to play games like that anymore...If nothing else Alz taught me to appreciate the now....

hugs to all--a piece of my heart is always with you......M

Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 6:29 PM
Joined: 5/12/2012
Posts: 6

Madamme - 

Happy, Happy Birthday to you!  We lost our moms around the same time and I've always loved your posts and wonderful sense of humor.  You know that people just don't stop to think how their words or actions will affect someone else.  


I'm so glad to see you on the boards and hear that you've found solid ground.  

Please come back often.

Be good to yourself on your Birthday - you deserve it!


Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 7:47 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 156

Madamme, you've traveled a long and rocky road. Heck of week, huh? One step at a time. And no point in trying to rush it. It takes as long as it takes.


In spite of the unwanted correspondence, I do wish you a blessed day, with calmer ones ahead.

Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 8:03 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097

Madamme, Happy, happy birthday to you!  Lots of loss, lots of change, I'm amazed at what life puts people through.

I'm so sorry about Yum-Yum, you know I look at pets just like I do my mom so I know that a loss for you too. 

And YUCK to your cousin.  Good Lord, I at least would call someone and ask if that's something they'd like to see first--not ambush them like that.  Let her be mad!

I also appreciate the "living in the moment" lesson.  I can't worry about tomorrow.  Periodically I will revisit the past, but they are mostly good memories of mom and funny things.  Time heals---somewhat.
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 8:18 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 149

Thanks kids..I am calmer now...get this, she did reply, said she thought the pic would be "comforting" WTF!!!! ummmm nooooo not so much.......

I had originally meant to post today about the path and what it has been like walking it..but the text from my "well meaning" relative (may the universe protect us all from well meaning relatives!!!!) kinda blew that out of the water.....later for that...

Meanwhile many hugs to you all!!! Memaw2287 hope you are enjoying the quips i trade with LesleeB on her fb page......


Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 8:42 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 156

Posted: Monday, March 18, 2013 7:59 AM
Joined: 10/27/2012
Posts: 362


Just lost my mom Friday. I don't know your cousin but I Do know Death wigs a lot of people out. They don't know how to handle it and therefore say and do a lot of awkward and sometimes hurtful things. Then, there are those differences we all have.  One of my dearest friends lost her son last spring. She wanted everyone to stand with her, first at his bedside then at the casket, to view the body and took great comfort looking at him. I, on the other hand, do not take comfort from looking at anyone once they have passed. I prefer to remember them alive. Those differences in people  can cause discomfort, aggravation, and even hurt.  She probably did think she was honoring your mom.... Misguided though she might be. 


My birthday was Monday and Mom died on Friday so I do understand your feelings. My dad died 5 years ago a week before Christmas. I am happy to say the I can celebrate Christmas without sadness. Hopefully, birthdays will be the same. I find that gratitude has been my greatest tool and ally.  When things (or people) turn my thoughts negative or even melancholy, I name the things I have to be grateful for. It truly helps. Taking those thoughts and emotions captive and choosing to be thankful is what lifts me.... Restores my attitude .... Gives me patience with well meaning but trying people.... Keeps me on an even keel.    

Have a happy belated birthday.  Much love to you. I congratulate you for taking charge of your life and making positive changes.

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