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Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum
Just need to talk to my friends(15)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE,
Well, guess it's time to start another volume of our thread. Hopefully 2015 will be a better year for all of us - at least we can hope and have faith.
I didn't stay up until midnight - hardly ever do. It's beginning to rain some here that will change to frozen something before long. I just came in from getting Liam and Missy into the pen and Charm into the stall so everyone can use the whole barn when it starts to freeze.
I wanted to go see Ray today but decided it was better to stay off the roads if they get icy. If he was in a room with an outside view, I could kind of judge when to leave but he's not.
jfkoc - I talked to my sister and she says it's icy over there - many wrecks and she said her street looks icy. Don't go out if you don't have to and if you do, please be very careful.
I've put up summer clothes and hung up winter shirts for Ray - I've been putting that off for a long time - had the boxes sitting there but that's all. I'll do the dishes after a bit and clean the bathroom.
The radar is on and the whole eastern part of the state is colored pink - which means ice. It's just below freezing here. Tomorrow is supposed to be above freezing so if we don't get much, the roads will be better tomorrow.
I've called the nurse to see how Ray is but she was with the doctor and is supposed to call me back. I'll give her another 15 minutes or so. I know I'm a pest to them but that's just the way it is. I need to know what's happening. I wish I could have them tell him I'd be there tomorrow but I don't think he'd understand.
I didn't get to see but a little bit of the parade - just forgot about it.
I hope everyone is doing well and is having a nice New Years Day. Remember to eat your black eyed peas. If I'd gone to the hospital I was going to take a few for Ray. Maybe they'll have them anyway.
Talk with you all later.
Sandy, I'm going to have to proofread my posts - soap wouldn't have tasted very good. I didn't have the soup after all - just an apple and PB and crackers. I read your post just before I went to sleep and it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that before our MN, you all were already enjoying the New Year.
Happy New year , dear friends. As long as we have each other it can not be all difficult or at least less difficult.
The roads are not icy where I am but there are probably slick spots and certainly the bridges will be bad.
Lorita....if Ray can not really walk don't you think you can insist on a stay in rehab? Please think about this.
A question for my friends who look like "potatoes", have you tried silk under things including socks? VEry insulation and thin. Silk is all we use(d) when skiing.
I want to shout out a thanks to the animal people here for the past year's course in animal husbandry...from creepfeeders to bute to exactly what a mule is the sadly, the Rainbow Bridge. I have grown to appreciate the amount of care each and every creature needs as well as appreciate the commitment you have for them.
Another shout out of thanks for the support which makes this journey possible. May we continue to walk together through whatever 2015 brings.
Happy New Year my friends! I hope your year exceeds your expectations. We 'welcomed" the new year with Rod in bed and me trying to stop coughing. Isn't that exciting. Actually when Rod quit construction and started over-the-road trucking, we stopped celebrating it. So no big deal for us.
Rod is still sleeping today. He has slept late every day this week. I guess he is having a hard time recouping from the kids being here. One really sweet thing that encouraged me about the kids being here was when he said, "That baby girl of ours is something special. She makes my day." That baby girl was the source of much of the noise as she was trying to cut three teeth. Treasured memory for me.
The weather here is awful but at least it is just cold rain. Our temperatures are staying a couple of degrees above freezing. I just hope it stays that way. I really need to go to the grocery store but I think I will put it off. I really just want to stay inside the house and watch the football games.
I think our brother and sister are coming to Tyler this weekend. I don't know if they will stay with us or with Rod and Larry's mom. I hope they will stay with Mom so that SIL can go home for a couple of nights. She is spending every night at Mom's and would sure enjoy some time at her place.
Lorita I hope Ray is alright today. And I am also you are wise enough to stay off the icy roads. Icy roads are no one's friend. We will be having our black-eyed-peas tonight. We usually have ham with them but I am out of it so I will find a substitute. That is a family tradition for Rod and his family.
I hope all you ladies with the single digits and below temperatures are staying warm.
Hope all us will have unexpected blessing from our Lord Above for the next year along with the strength and endurance we need. Love to all of you.
Happy Happy New Year! Harv was in bed at 9:00 and I stayed up until about 11:00. Was falling asleep so the bed was a welcome site. Slept so good last night, finally. I have been busy spiffing up the house this morning. Feels so good to be rested.
It was below 0 this morning, but already almost 20 now. The storm for today is going south of us, with another one coming by Saturday. Guess it's winter. It's so nice to have the sun shining. Even though it is still cold out, it looks pretty and bright. Nice day here.
Lorita, such good news Ray is doing better every day. I hope help gets set up before he comes home, so you don't get overwhelmed with all the worry right away. They know how badly you need some help set up so hopefully they will find someone for you.
Linda, I hope you get over your cough soon. People who have had colds here lately have coughed for weeks. It's nice Rod can rest so well. Gives you a little time to rest too.
I better get off here and get Harv ready to go for his daily visit to AL. We'll see how the afternoon goes.
I hope the new year brings good things for all of us, especially peace, health, rest, and good news. Joan
jfkoc - they talked about doing some PT in the hospital before he comes home but found out they don't do that - it's after they go home. Someone will come here for a few days to do that. Last year we got set up and approved for it but he was walking so well that I thought the disruption it would cause wouldn't be worth it. I will do it this year.
Linda T- glad you're just getting rain - you all can probably use it, too. It's been so muddy here the last week or so, I'll be glad to see a little bit of dry weather - except for the fires. Glad that Rod's able to sleep late and recuperate. That wa such a sweet thing he said about his little girl.
Joan - I hope Harv continues to do well at the AL. I think he's adjusting and things will probably be just fine. Your storm that went south is the one that's getting us today. We're supposed to have dry weather tomorrow with more ice tomorrow night and Saturday. You're right - winter is here!
I miss Ray but I'll see him tomorrow. We've had another year together - remember last year they didn't think he'd make it through the night when his BP dropped so low and he was unconscious for so long. Thank all of you for your good thought about him.
I think it's such a great thing that we have found each other and can be good friends and support for each other. It does make things easier.
jfkoc - we have been through quite a lot this year - with birthing of calves, problems with them getting up and walking, learning about mules and how things are done in other states. My good friend that had the wreck told me once that she'd learned more about cows than she ever wanted to know. Does Dick still ask about the creepfeeders?
I looked at my can of black-eyed peas and it expired in 2010. I found a pound of dried peas that I'd bought so I'm in the process of cooking them now.
Sandy, I had potato soup again for lunch - only one more small serving and I'll be finished with it. I'm probably one of those people who look like a potato even without the outside clothing. jfkoc - I haven't tried silk underpinnings but I bet they are warm. I wear thermals, even wore thermal pants under my outer pants to the hospital yesterday. I pulled my pants leg up and showed Ray and he laughed - always done when I do that. They're a fixture for me now until Spring. I grew up here and never wore thermals until a few years ago - just think of how much warmer I could have been.
Better go and get some things done - dishes and cleaning the bathroom. Barclee's up so he's wanting to eat. Everyone be careful if you go outside. Sandy doesn't have to worry about that - except for getting too hot (wouldn't that be nice right now?)
Got the dishes done and kitchen cleaned up. Going to rest a while before I tackle the bathroom. We only have one, thank goodness, and we didn't have that until I was about 12 years old. Lots of night-time trips to the outhouse. Do any of you all remember that? We no longer have the building but the inside is still there. I have a big flower-pot in it. It's way behind the house, out of sight.
I just got an e-mail about Ancestry.com. They're having a sale - $49 for 6 months. I've thought about joining that to look up daddy's ancestry. If any of you have that, is it worth it?
It's dark here but no more rain. Guess I could have gone to the hospital. Maybe I needed a little more rest though. Think I'll go to bed earlier tonight.
My black-eyed peas are cooking so guess that'll be supper tonight.
Lorita, I am glad you did not eat soap (you'd have to see the film, CHRISTMAS STORY to get the hero's take on that occupation - he had his preferences as he was always forced to do so). I always said seltzer tastes like Ivory soap, and yes, I do know what that tastes like! I was not a good child all the time.
Blackeyed peas creep me out, but I am a flexitarian (want to be vegetarian but for now cannot make the giant leap). I have learned to eat a variety of peas and dried beans and veggies I used to ignore, and they are good. One day, if the peas are not looking at me, I may try them.
When my kids were little I said something about cutting the eyes off the potatoes - wrong thing to say! One of them was terrified to eat a potato for a long time. So I guess he inherited my vivid imagination when it comes to vegetables. But then, surprise - he is a vegan now!
Hope Ray does OK and that you can get some well deserved rest. Wishing you peace in 2015 and beyond.
I'm Mike from Ontario Canada..I follow this thread everyday. Is that okay with you folks? My wife , Carol is stage 5 early onset .I believe its mostly ladies here? I don't want to step on any ones toes.
Is it ok for me to just listen in, and maybe pick up a few hints?
You're most welcome. It will be good to have a man's perspective on things. You can tell us about your cold, cold weather up there. We're from all over, as you know from reading the thread.
We just visit and exchange ideas and vent, whatever anyone wants to do. I'm glad you've been reading so you're kind of familiar with all of us.
I just got back in from feeding the cats and giving Charm her bottle. I'm going to have to figure out a way to keep her separated from Missy and Liam - she steals his milk if Missy will let her. I heard Liam cough a couple of times tonight and have before. His back isn't really straight yet so if I keep hearing a cough, I'll have to call the vet - don't want any pneumonia for him - or anyone for that matter.
I'd left the water running into the float valve in the loafing area for the cows and it was still running but I couldn't unscrew it. I have quick release connectors on most of the hydrants but not this one - but I will. Had to go to the PU and get a wrench to unscrew it. I'll know better next time. There's icicles on the pipe fence in the corral but not very long ones.
I called the friend tonight who was keeping me informed about the friend who was in the wreck. A few days ago her husband was coughing like everything. He answered the phone and sounded awful. He has the flu - and now so does Carol. Both are very sick. Their kids are bringing things over to them and leaving it by the front door - not coming in. He took the flu shot and her doctor told her not to bother so she didn't - so it didn't seem to make any difference.
Ray and I were going to stay away from town and people completely so we wouldn't get the flu and now he's been in the hospital for a week tomorrow with me being up there, too. Hopefully, we've not been around anyone with it and I've been washing my hands like crazy and using the hand disinfectant they have at every door.
I tried to call the friend who was in the wreck but she was having a procedure done so I'll try later today. I understand she's doing pretty well. What a start to the new year with one friend and her husband very sick with the flu and another friend and her husband having been in a bad car wreck and with Ray in the hospital. Things have to improve.
I'll go to the hospital tomorrow but it's going to rain starting sbout noon so I'll have to get a tarp underneath the feed I have in the back of the PU and cover it up so it won't get wet. But, at least there's 250 lbs. of weight in it.
Guess I'd better go and have a few black-eyed peas so I'll have good luck all year. Hope Ray got to eat some today.
Everyone, have a nice, quiet, restful night .
Lorita, be sure to eat an extra helping of black eyed peas. Sounds like you could use the extra dose of luck.
I don't have any black eyed peas in the house but I did eat chili beans today. Think that would work? Maybe it will up here in the north country (Wisconsin). Though I am not as far north as Mike!
Mike, welcome northern neighbor!
I've been reading you all's posts for some time, so hope you don't mind if I chime in.
We live in the Columbia basin in Eastern Washington. It's been down to 10 or so overnight and in the 20's during the day. No real snow yet although we may get some Sunday. Seems if they predict it, it never happens. We could really use the snow pack in the mountains as it provides our water during our hot dry summers.
I noticed your question concerning Ancestry.com. I've been doing genealogy for a very very long time. I use Ancestry but I also use familysearch.org which is free. They each have their own advantages. You might want to try the free one first to see what you can find.
Hope you have a nice ham hock to go with those black eyed peas. They certainly are yummy.
Lorita, my son has used Ancestry.com for building an extensive family tree. I joined for a year to help him with it, but did not do much with it myself. I thought it was time consuming and expensive, although $49 is much better than I paid. I really did not have time to use it.
They say it will stay around 34 tonight. I hope they are right. We do not need icy roads.
Welcome to the friends thread, Mike. I am from Texas so temps in the 20 and 30s are cold for us. Of course most summers our highs are in triple digits. My Rod is in mid stage six and EOAD.
Zandra, sounds like you have a good plan in place. Good luck with the details.
Good night all.
My family always had corn beef and cabbage the first day of the year for good luck. I didn't have any corn beef so I just cooked cabbage, which I love....
No snow here in Indiana just cold. Not as cold as most but that is ok.
Leanne: Would you please post the bread recipe? Thanks.
Welcome Mike and Linda!
No blackeyed peas or corned beef/cabage bu a crock pot full of Posole. Hope that works.
My dayghter came over to show me how to work On Demand and watch a movie. 1/2 way throught and she flew out of the room and upstairs. She heard Dick yelling. I did not and yes, my hearing aids were in. He wanted the TV in the bedroom turned off and warked himself into a swivit. Really scared her. Durning th calm down there were 2 beeps from his pacemaker. Never before so I called the heart hosp....no, not an emergency and he is scheduled for battery replacement.
Went back to finish the movie and Cox was having problems with On Demand. All the really got resolved was that I do not want a funeral!!!! Wierd evening.
Lorita...I am very concerned about your taking care of Ray while he is so weak but maybe it will be easier since he won't be into as much.
Bundle up, all...looks like a bad winter. Might be time for one of our trips. ..anyone for Trinidad? I do have a friend from ther who keeps posting recipies.
Hi again, everyone,
Cynthia, maybe I even need to eat the whole two cups of them. At least it started out as two cups, now it's more like five or six. I'll be eating them for a week - just like the potato soup. Without Ray here I just don't have the inclination to cook anything - just snack or eat what's already cooked.
Mike - is there a special food that you all eat on New Years Day to have good luck all year?. I think it must be a different food in different parts of the country or world. Wonder what it is in Australia?
Ray and I live in Oklahoma on a farm. We run a few head of cattle, lots of cats, two outside dogs and Mr. Barclee, our Shih Tzu. Ray was diagnosed in 2008.
We're about four hours north of Linda T - our temps are colder than theirs and we have more snow but they have some pretty good ice storms down there, too. Our temps can get below zero occasionally but really hope it doesn't this year.
Linda - I think I must have been told about familysearch before. I just now tried it and it had the names I was looking for but when I wanted to see a photo, it changed to another website and asked for a password - which, of course, I've forgotten. It showed daddy's birthdate and the names of his mom and dad and brothers. I'll work more on remembering the password.
I don't know if I'll have time to do any of this or not. I've put it off for a long time because it seems like I can't sit for more than ten minutes at a time - either Ray or Barclee or cats need something or something's going on outside. Right now Simone is sitting on my lap watching the computer screen and my fingers moving. She's the cutest little thing. Abigail's baby is in the bathroom in front of the stove, warm as toast.
Judy, I like cooked cabbage, too. When I cook it, I have to do it two ways. I like to quarter or eighth the head and cook it until it's just tender. Ray likes it cut up and cooked until it's almost mushy.
Wonder where Leanne is tonight? I'm about ready for bed - after I see the weather forecast for tomorrow but I'll check in a little later to see what's going on in Montana. Leanne, my nephew who called last night said he was in Montana and North Dakota last winter. He said it was beautiful country.
Sleep well tonight, everyone.
Hi everyone and welcome to Mike and Linda. This is one of my favorite threads. I just feel so welcome and have allot of new friends who understand what I'm going through and give me encouragement and advice. I am so thankful for finding the support, and I bet you will be too.
Took Harv this afternoon to the AL for a visit and took the care giver. She said she is disappearing out of his site part of the time so he won't think she will be there all the time. He did well again, and they said he was very relaxed. We got home and he cried and carried on all evening. I put him to bed at 8:30. He needs more Seroquel in the afternoon to stay calm but if I give it to him, he can hardly walk and I can't get him upstairs to bed. I will ask the psychiatrist if there is anything else I can give him in the afternoons that won't be so sedating that he can't walk. I'm about to the point of being content to get him moved. It's just too much for both of us at this point. Alz. is just an awful disease and so hard for everyone involved. I do hate it along with all of you.
I didn't eat any black eyed peas. Hope it doesn't bring bad luck. Does salad count???
Jfoc, my daughter was going to make me some Posole while they were here, but never got it done. I've never had it, but it sounds delicious. Sure glad Dick didn't hurt himself. I hope his pace maker gets a new battery soon. My Dad had one for about 10 years and it was just about due for a battery before he died. They last for a long time.
Leanne, I hope all is well with you tonight.
Judy it is good to see your post. Corned beef and cabbage or just cabbage sounds good to me. I love it too.
Take care and have a good rest tonight. Hope I sleep good like I did last night. Makes the days so much more productive and fun. Joan
Good evening and Happy New Year to everyone. I finally spent the entire day working in the shop. I finished cleaning (all but the dirtiest corner) and repaired a boat cover. I carried 3 big cans of garbage out and took a bunch of stuff to the barn that hat migrated into the shop.
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL.
Welcome Mike and Lindebug, the more the merrier! We all learn from each other.
jfkoc--what is posole? You heard Dick's pacemaker? Ken has a pm, I have never heard it. Ken has had the batteries changed once, about five years ago. Does Dick know enough, understand enough to want batteries changed?
When I was out with the girls (dogs), last time it was freezing drizzle and trying to change into snow. I have a lab appointment at 8am, hope I can get there. If I can't I sure won't take any chances.
We had black-eyed-peas for lunch. Actually, I had some with eggs, then some for lunch too. I fixed salad and spiced shrimp for dinner. The salad was better than anything, because the grape tomatoes were excellent! Tasted just like I imagined Sandy's or Barbara's would taste!!
Leanne, glad you are feeling some what better. I'm surprised you don't have a pair of boot warmers to dry the inside of your boots. Guess just taking the inner soles out, works just fine too. What considerate neighbors you have, to know to pack the drive down for you.
Speaking of neighbor's, my neighbor who has ALS, was put on Hospice yesterday. It hasn't even been a year since the Dx. Sad, but his wife is so understanding about the disease. She is ready to let him go. She is hurting yes, but she knows he is hurting, humiliated and all the other things that go with the disease. They were married 50 years in the summer. We had a nice long talk this afternoon. He also has pneumonia.
TWINK--I know how much you love and care about Norton, to get into that smelt for him to be able to take his pills! Do you use a rubber glove? If not, how do you get the smell of your hands?
JOAN, glad Sofiya's pins are out and that is behind her! Too bad someone didn't do a video, of it, for later years. Sounds like Harv might be ready to move before very long. Then you can become his wife again. And all you have to do is love on him each time you go.
LORITA--are you listening? Wouldn't that be great if the only thing you had to do is love around on Ray? I'm so relieved Ray is improving. And I know you will do what you think is best.....just try to think about it from each angle.
LindaT--glad your FiL made it through the holidays. Hope your cough improves soon.... please take care of you. You know we all worry about each other, that's not a bad thing.
Ken is already in bed and he is sleeping later each morning. That is fine by me. If he is sleeping he isn't stuing and fretting about something. I like the alone time. But seems as the Winter goes on I too, am getting sleepy early!
There are so many more Eagles here at the lake this year. I am even walking in the yard with my yorkie, just in case.
Well, our seed and garden catalogs are arriving. And of course, I day dreaming about what I will plant and where. When the time comes I hope I am smart enough to remember I won't have the time to take care of things like I did last year!
Have good night all, with some blessed rest.
Yes, I have acne story.com and I love it. I just connected with my third cousin in Scotland. I haven't had much time lately, but I love to find out about my ancestors. I think it is well worth it.
Jfkoc, I'm wondering what posole is, too. Also, what is a swivit? Sounds like it might be a tizzy.
I'm a little bit worried about taking care of Ray,too,until he gets a little stronger and walking better.
I'm glad it wasn't anything too serious with Dick. When is he going to get the new battery?
Is OnDemand like Pay per view on DirecTV? I hardly ever see anything I'd like to see. A while back I did order Jersey Boys but only watched a little of it.
I'm typing on the tablet so please forgive my mistakes.. I need a stylus. It's ordered but not here yet. The TV I ordered is due on Sat.
Leanne, if the weather isn't too bad in the morning I may call the vet very esrly. When I do that he usually comes before he opens his clinic. I sure don't want Liam to get sick. We used to keep LA 200 all the time and Nuflor for pneumonia but I can't give them shots by myself now. We've given the medicine for scours in milk before to bottle babies but I'm sure Liam wouldn't go for that.
Rsy has a wheelchair and walker already and uses them from time to time so that's taken care of. I'd like for him to be stronger when he comes home but the longer he's there the more confused he may become.
Ray. and I were married on April 22. He was barely 39 and I was 28--almost an old maid.
Linda Dee, if you get out early in the morning be careful and watch out for black ice. They're warning us about it here. It's just about freezing here, a little above, and it's drizzling and foggy. Sure hope the temp holds.
Leanne, I'm anxious to see the porcupine bread recipe. Your comment about the magpies sitting on the donkey's head tickled me. I've never seen one but that's what I call Ray when he talks so much. What were the names of those two magpies in the comics?
Guess I'll call to check on Ray and go to sleep so I can get up early in the morning and check on Liam.
It's good for us to have two new friends tonight--Mike and Linda.
Rest well, everyone.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!
Sounds like a good time to jump on and wish everyone a Happy New Year. I also have been reading all your posts for a few months. I have learned so much from all of you. My DH is 72 and has been showing signs for 3-4 years. We live in upstate New York and live in the country. We have a lot of wildlife going thru here a lot. We raised a fawn here for several months this summer and one day she left and never came back. My DH still looks for her. You all are such a big help to us just starting the journey. Thanks for letting me a part of your group.
Welcome, Sue, I'm glad you decided to post and let us get to know you.
I bet that was a lot of fun raising the fawn - sorry she ran away. Maybe one morning your husband will look out and there she'll be.
Sorry you're having to go through all of this but this is a good place to come and vent, ask questions or just join in the discussion. Everyone here has either been through what you'll be going through or they're going through it at the time. No questions are too odd or weird to ask.
I just called our vet and he'll come sometime this morning and treat Liam. I told him Ray was in the hospital and he was concerned. He'll treat the baby whether or not I'm here. He's been here so much, he's very familiar with everything.
I also just called the hospital. The nurse said Ray slept pretty well last night - he's asleep now with his head covered. She said he was up about 45 minutes last night but slept the rest of the time. He wouldn't take his evening meds for her though. She doesn't know if he'll be discharged or not. I'd like to be there by 9 or 9:30 so I can talk with the doctor when she makes rounds.
It's supposed to rain - it's just south of us now but the temperature is above freezing so it will be rain. I can't decide if I want to try to move the feed in the back of the PU onto a tarp and cover it or drive the car. It isn't good in the mud so will probably move the feed.
I slept good last night - only woke up one time when Barclee wanted a drink so I put him in the LR and went back to sleep. Abigail slept with me, got up when I did and bathed her little baby. I'm going to take three kittens to our other vet when I go to town.. All three of them are sneezing even with taking the Amoxi-drops. I can drop them off at the foot of the drive to the hospital and pick them up on the way out - very convenient and he's really a good vet, too. When I worked at the hospital I could drop our dogs or cats off and pick them up on the way home.
With all of the dark, wet, cloudy weather we've had for the last month, it's a wonder everyone and everything isn't sick. I'll be so glad to see the sun again. Weather just said it's supposed to be colder again next week. Is it too early to say I'm ready for spring?
I hope everyone has a good day. I have the catfood ready but I think I'll have a cup of hot tea before I go to the barn. I'm so tired of this weather.
I'm back in. While I was out the vet called and came and treated Liam. He was amazed at how well he's come along. May be a little pneumonia and some scours. I cleaned the pen and scattered dry hay. I let Missy out to get water and fed her. She got really concerned and upset when she saw the vet.
He or his hand will come sometime today and put out hay for us. They feed south and north of us so won't be too out of their way. I so appreciate that. I told him it was so good to have good friends and neighbors--and it is.
I'm waiting for a call from the HBPC person to call about the PCA.
The vet wasn't sure it'd a good idea to get Ray out in this weather-it's rainy and cold. I'm going in anyway and take the kittens-they're sneezing.
I got the feed in the PU covered so maybe it'll stay dry.
Well, that's my day so far. Hope everyone else's day is good.
Happy New Year Dear Ones . . . may this year bring blessings both large and small to everyone.
A warm welcome to the "new" folks. Mike, it is terrific to have you join this long conversation. I like the analogy of the, "old-hens" and rooster; made me smile. To me, this thread is rather like an old-fashioned telephone party-line with everyone joining in. (Some of us will be old enough and have lived in parts of the country that will enable us to recall when party-lines were the norm.)
Like jfkoc, I too am delighted to have learned so much about farming, cattle, bute, creep-feeders (I could NOT figure out what that was until Lorita explained), and who knew the animals could get ice balls under their hooves? Of course, listening to Leanne and Lorita really drives home the point that I am a pampered pansy compared to them! I am in awe of all they do and my gosh; it's not like vacuuming the floor and regular household chores where it will be fine for a week in addition to caregiving, but it is a never-ending daily very long list of mandatory chores and responsibility punctuated by incidents of things breaking down, animals getting ill, weather becoming evil and so much more. And being a Caregiver on top of that. Whew!
Here I was, complaining that it got down to 32 degrees and I was cold because our forced air furnace decided it would stop working; the onset of this began during the night . . . .I discovered a turtleneck sweater under my nightgown and warm chenille socks (in addition to another blanket) kept me reasonably warm, but I was beginning to wish I had a warm knitted cap for the top of my head and a nose warmer! Thankfully, the repair person got out late the following afternoon for which I was very grateful. See? Pampered poodle that I am in comparison.
And our friend "down under," 94 degrees and humid . . . it seems so odd how different the weather is across the planet. I think I hate such heat worse than cold, but that is only because I do not have cows, horses, mule and donkeys to care for. I will stop making like a spoiled baby; our weather is actually to take a change and go back into the 70's next week. Up/down, up/down, rinse and repeat.
Lingantim, I would dread going out for those groceries too under such circumstances. Is there a grocery store that would deliver for a fee? If not a formal program, if you contacted the store manager, would he/she have an employee willing to deliver for you? You could pay in cash, write a check or give the manager your credit card info. Just an idea. Groceries used to seem like such a simple item "to do," but under circumstances such as so many face here, it can become a mountain to climb.
We were in bed long before midnight on New Year's Eve; we just don't care anymore. I had a large extended family party the New Year's Eve when the century changed; but that was only because it was such an auspicious occasion. Rest of the time? No big deal. I woke at midnight to the sound of MANY large firework displays going off. We live about 15 - 20 minutes from Knotts Berry Farm, and we hear their fireworks each night, and on NY's Eve, they were exceptionally loud and lasted for about 20 minutes. Also other large events going off somewhere and we could hear the sounds in the distance. Whoopee . . . roll over and back to sleep! Such a party girl.
We don't do any special foods on New Years Day. I would love to have the recipe for pozole; I've never tried it, but it looks so good in photos and I love that large corn; is it chickpeas?
Frankly, I had a short bout of something NY's Eve day and half the following day. I was pretty much staying down, clutching my box of Immodium. See? I said I was a party girl! Not the dread influenza that is going around and not food borne, so don't know what the heck. Just because, I guess.
Joan, I am so glad Harv is doing reasonably well at his slow transition. It is probably harder on you than him. This is a very complex dynamic and fraught with so many feelings. I've been there and it was so difficult. I send you a big hug and know that you are doing what is far best and you will be able to be there for him without being exhausted and worn to the nub. My thoughts are with you and I think of you often.
Lorita, I am glad Ray is doing better. Thank goodness. He seems to warm up to other people, he especially seems like the "lady" type of people who probably remind him of his Lorita. He is probably enjoying the new company as he does when the care providers visit your home. So, while he is getting well, he is also getting a sort of respite as are you. He doesn't seem to be getting increasingly confused in the hospital, so that is wonderful. I am so glad you are catching up on your sleep.
I hope Liam does well and it is great that your kind vet is coming out. Lorita, about that potato soup . . . I hope it had a side of veg and fruit with it. Long term, you have SO much on your hands you need to feed your body what it needs to keep the cells healthy. It is typical of Caregiving, we have so much on our minds and so much to do, we forget about ourselves. Not at all unusual. Why not lay in a supply of Stouffer's or other frozen entrees (I think Amy's brand is all vegetarian and health conscious), and some Progresso Soup . . . there are some good ones out there and some are vegetarian, so you can augment your nutrition when at a difficult point. Just a suggestion.
I do that. In fact, while not veggie; but in a pinch, I have a favorite "cheaters recipe." I will take three cans or so of Progresso Veg Soup, (Healthy Choice good too, but can't find the full-sized cans in our market), and will cook Italian Sausages and cut them into half coins and throw them in the soup, and then cook and drain a package of small Buitoni Tortellini and throw that into the soup pot too, and it is delicious. I put some parmesan cheese on top and add crunchy warm bread and it looks like I actually cooked. Even better the next day. One can find vegetarian sausage and Buitoni can be found in the refrigerated section of the store . . . I buy the small Tortellini for the soup as they expand when cooked. They have vegetarian, cheese Tortellini. The Tortellini can also be frozen prior to cooking. Now I'm hungry.
Your sister sounds so well; much better I think than most thought would be when she was having such a difficult time; thank goodness for that blessing. I am sorry they do not do Skilled Care rehab at the VA; if Ray is strong enough to go home, that would be great. If he has mandatory Skilled Care needs, they will probably recommend a Skilled Care facility where he can get P.T. twice a day and have 24 hour care all dedicated to get him up and moving and hopefully in better stead to care for at home.
My experience was that my LO did reasonably well at Skilled Care, but blossomed more after getting home again. Just needed him to be able to be up a bit so care could be provided; he was far too heavy to lift. It all takes tincture of time. Soon, Mr. Ray will be home. Bet you will be glad to have him, and I so hope you get some additional help. No doubt, his condition is changing, and you have so much to do with the four legged creatures and you cannot be in two places at once. It will all settle into place with a little nudging here and there. I'd hold the Discharge Planner's or Social Worker's feet to the fire until they accomplish the necessary things to get and keep Ray at home. Please be careful of that ice. I so hope it all goes smoothly for you. Of course big hugs coming your way too.
And Leanne. Your idea of planting a tree in memory of your dear granddaughter is a beautiful idea. I can just picture it in my mind's eye as it grows, with flowers planted around it . . . . lovely.
I can only imagine the tasks at hand in such freezing cold. Glad Julie is doing reasonably well, that poor old sweetie. Boy; you have been on a cleaning frenzy between your son and your shop. I just happen to have a large walk in closet that is beginning to look like a bad dream; I need to get some "Leanne" going and get it done. I had gone over the kitchen and emptied cupboards and got rid of a lot of things that were no longer used or useful, so at least that was done.
I too am looking forward to your bread recipes. Somewhere, I have a recipe for easy dinner rolls that don't take a lot of fuss; I will have to find it and dig it up. I am getting a hankering for a big pot of stew, I think I will get one going this next week.
We love a recipe we have for pork tenderloin with a balsamic reduction sauce that is SO delicious and SO easy, it almost prepares itself. I'll have to get that one on too. It is one of my favorite dishes and like to have it with scalloped potatoes. Of course I would also like to have some long green string beans with onion, a bit of crumbled bacon and toasted slivered almonds to go with it, but there I am again; more fat thoughts. Geeze.
Well; I had managed to get the oomph to put up our very large Christmas tree and decorate it with all the myriad of ornaments collected from over the years. So beautiful to look at; now I am facing needing to take it all down and get it all back into storage. What a job. I am never motivated when it comes to this, but heck, it is such a tiny thing in the scope of all else; but when done, the room seems so flat and bland compared to all the lights, etc.
It comes to mind I have a lot more of life behind me than I do in front of me. When the dickens did that happen? Guess I wasn't looking. Wonder who will put up "my" tree when I can no longer get at it? Will it matter to me? Okay; I am going to stop that train of thought before it gets out of the station.
Here we are, 2015. A blank slate . . . what will be written on it? I can only sincerely hope and pray for more peace in the world, and my very best wishes and thoughts are with all the wonderful Caregivers who give so much of themselves and who are so gracious of spirit. Big hugs to one and all, I admire all of you so much and also think of you often.
P.S.: For the "newbies," the reason why you see so many posts done in bold type is because we have some Members with low vision concerns and it is easier for them to read. Sometimes, for one reason or another, we cannot bold our posts and then we just continue to write in plain text. So if you were wondering, that is why.
Good morning all on this second day of our 2015 journey through time. Seems the older I get (66), the faster the wheel of time turns. Time seems too short to spend it in bed but for some reason after the Christmas rush is over, I find myself still in bed at 7:30. Big sleep in for me since I'm usually up at 6.
My Mike is stage 4/5 and is sleeping more all the time. Twelve hours a night with a two hour nap during the day. His short term memory is gone. I have learned to keep lips sealed when he forgets he just had a bowl of ice cream. Figure at this stage just let it go. I have it easy compared to all of you.
All this talk of soup reminded me of this recipe for French Quarter Bean Soup. I vary the amount of beans, so I'm just going to list the kind.
Pinto beans; red beans; garbanzo beans. Canned is easier
1-1/2 pounds ham hocks
32 oz chopped tomatoes=2 cans
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
1 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 bay leaves
1/4 tsp ground red pepper
1/2 pound kielbasa, sliced
Pound of chicken thighs
I cook the thighs and the ham hocks separately and reserve part of the liquid and then add everything else. Easy to make vegetarian if desired. Makes enough for 12 but freezes well in small batches.
Today I need to finish taking down the tree and get started on gathering stuff to do taxes. Mostly organized but always something put in the wrong place.
Glad to hear Liam is doing better. I grew up on a farm and have somewhat fond memories of milking cows, slopping pigs and feeding chickens.
Hope all your loved ones continue to improve and that Ray gets to come home soon. Take care and be careful out there.
Well thank you all for the warm welcome. Yes, where we live its a little cooler, were about 2 miles in land from the north shore of Lake Ontario. The Lake effect comes from the north, so were not effected. Sorry Buffalo.
I'm old enough, that I was taught the Imperial measure,before metric. So I can convert in my head, were at -5 C right now that converts to mid 20 s F. No snow but chilly. I bundled Carol .up for a walk today. Oh ! she hates the cold, but I had to get her off the couch.
Carol can shower by herself, but I have to lay her clothes out for her, and put the toothpaste on the brush.. Without guidance she would wear the same clothes every day.
As EOAD progresses, and Carols odds of another seizure rise, I cant get out of the house..I still see my old friends, and they call .Yesterday they were making plans, for an ice fishing trip in Feb. They know I can't go, but it would have been nice to have been asked. Maybe they were sparing me the embarsment ?
Theres a wooded area with a creek running through it just a short walk from my house. With no snow I could take a walk down there, I use an old golf club as a walking stick. Maybe a couple of cans of beer in my pocket eh?.. I guess.I better not leave Carol alone.
Enough about me crying the blues. Lorita your a farm girl? Running cattle by yourself? Good for you girl. I'll try to get everybodys name straight. In the meantime i'll be reading all the comments. If your going to be the only friends the least I can do is remember you names and storys
I am new also and I live in the Finger Lake region of NY, just south of you. We are in the low 20's here today. I grew up on a farm and also we have always done crop farming and raising animals so I feel right at home here. We also had a trucking company for about 15 years until my DH had a stroke and then we decided to quit trucking. We had about 12 tractor trailers and hauled produce from the west coast and Texas to Toronto and Boston and New York City. Don't miss that at all. Sorry we are here but we can't change it so might as well get use to it.
Hi everyone. Welcome Susie. We have three new ones on here this week, so join in all the chatter. The more the merrier.
We have stellar blue skies today, with temps in the low 20's right now. Got down to -3 last night, but supposed to be warming up slowly over the next week. Leanne, please keep that cold and snow up there for at least another week, okay? We're supposed to be getting another storm tomorrow and Sunday, so it must be the one coming from your direction. I should be thankful we are getting snow so we will have water this summer.
Harv had another good day at the AL. I asked him if he was ready to go home and have lunch, and he told me no, he wanted to stay there. Great news for me. Tomorrow the care giver will take him in and stay for an hour and then leave. We are weaning her out of the picture to see how he does. I expect in the next couple of weeks he might be there for good. The owner said she would try it for a month's respite and make sure he is settled enough to stay there. I pray he will be. Don't have a plan B as to where I would place him. I suppose I better be smarter than that and look into other homes out of town to be sure I can find one if I need to.
Lorita, everything at your house sounds upbeat, except for the sneezing kittens and Liam. Hope the medicine helps all of them and all will be back to normal soon.
Linda, hope you got to your appointment ok. The kids should have taken a video of Sofiya crying her head off, and all the pins were out. She would laugh in years to come for sure.
Johanna, thanks for the good thoughts. We are making progress so I guess that is good. 32 is cold for California. Some people we know were at the Rose Parade and said it was cold. Crazy weather everywhere this year. I'm looking forward to the recipes you and the others are planning to post.
I went for coffee with friends after exercise today, so wasted my catch up time at home. I better get up and get the sheets in the dryer and back on the bed. I'll check in later with all of you. Joan
Hey Mike, I'm in So California, warm welcome to Lorita's friends thread. What a fab worth of knowledge & expertise this thread is. As Leanne said a rooster....
Congrats on the great job you're doing keeping in touch with many outsiders to help you along this horrid journey. I am living w/my 80+ y/o parents trying to navigate the trials & tribulations. Much to be said about knowledge is power.
Lorita has created a wonderful spot for all to visit and share. She's created a most rewarding link which is international, yet we all have the same issues. Look forward to hearing more from you in the northern most region. What is your favorite meal? Are you a vegetarian like Lorita? Are you a soup addict like I am?
Joan, YIPPEE, (without the pee)! So glad Harv is acclimating to the situation. Wonderful news. Be careful with the aftermath of Leanne's storm front. My tomato plants are almost ready to be shipped if you're interested; they're containable for indoor use. Must be living vicariously through Barbara (littleme) & Sandymac in Australia & in envy of their weather.
Blessings to all,
Haven't posted for a while, but nothing to worry about.
Life goes on as usual, dh is slowly losing more of the abilities that were so deeply-ingrained that we didn't have to think about them. It was time to fertilize the tomatoes [ lovely ripe fruit every day!!!!], but he could not understand where to find the fertilizer, how to mix it in the watering can, or how to spread it on the garden. And gardening, and especially growing tomatoes, was his main hobby for 50+ years. It was heartbreaking to watch him struggling.
Then one day he complained that he was only able to take little steps while walking - I looked at him and recognised the typical Parkinsons shuffle -- very stooped and walking on the balls of his feet. Signs of Lewy Body dementia, especially as he tells me he is 'always' seeing people who aren't there. The hallucinations don't seem to worry him, and he didn't tell me about them until I asked. I reported to the dr, so now we have to get another appintment with the geratrician in the New Year.
His day-care managers closed down for the Christmas break, and he has been home 24/7 for the last 2 weeks. I realise now how important the respite is for me. but I have been letting him sleep in in the mornings until nearly 9 o'clock, and have another nap in the afternoon. Also trying to find something to do out of the house each day. But I will be glad when day-care starts again on Monday.
And don't envy my weather today. Yesterday was 44 degrees, nearly 110 in your language, and today it is nearly 40. And bushfires just north of the city and I can see smoke billowing in the north. At least 4 homes lost yesterday, and the fire is still out of control.
However bad things are, there is always someone worse off.
Barbara I've been following the fires' Take good care. Have you packed a GO BAG? sort of what we take to the hospital? Please be careful, we're thinking of you!
Good evening, everyone,
Gosh, so many posts since morning. I'm really glad new people have decided to post and join our group.
Mike, I was born in the front bedroom of the house where Ray and I live. I've lived here on this farm my whole life with the exception of one year when we lived in town for a year to give mom and dad a rest from farming and a few months in town after Ray and I got married.
Ray and I used to take care of the cattle together until he had pneumonia in the middle of winter some years ago. So, I took over and have been doing it since. It's something I really enjoy but as any of our friends on our forum will tell you, I worry like everything when we have a cow near calving or one is sick.
Liam seems better tonight - even looks like his back is straighter. Leanne, I'm so glad you suggested I call the vet - he gave him medicine for pneumonia and scours. I got home about dark and let Missy out to get a drink while I gave Charm her bottle and fed the cats. She was ready to get back in the pen with her baby.
I brought the three kittens home with two kinds of medicine for each of them plus eye ointment - all of this twice daily - so, I'll be giving five cats medicine. I should have been a vet or a nurse. They're running around playing now so the bad respiratory infection they have isn't bothering them in that way.
I got to the hospital just before noon and Ray was in bed with his head covered up. Didn't seem to want to wake up and I don't think he knew me again. Before lunch they got him up in the recliner. He didn't want me to feed him so he did it himself and ate and drank everything. Later before I left at 4:30 he drank two cups of coke, ate a little bit of my sandwich, took his medicine with applesauce and took his potassium in orange juice. They thicken all of these things with Thicken It. He seems to like it and makes it lots easier for him to swallow.
I went down to see the Social Worker to see if she'd worked things out - not at all - just got some attitude from her which she got right back. I guess I really unloaded on her - told her social work must have really changed since I was secretary there. She said "probably not". I told her it had - when I was there before a patient was sent home there was a good discharge plan in place. I didn't get squat from her. Really ticked me off and that's not too easy to do.
Shortly after that the doctor who was covering for the ward doctor came by with the nurse and talked with me quite a while. The SW had told him I was coming today to take him home. I told him I had not told her that and that I could not take him home until some kind of help was in place. I explained to him that I wanted to take Ray home and try him there and that if he went to a NH I was afraid he'd never come home again. I guess tears were close to the surface so I did some crying and got pretty emotional. He also started to explain to me about palliative care - the SW had told him we had discussed that. We had not. He did tell me that they have palliative care at the VAMC but he can't go there if he doesn't have a DNR (do not resuscitate). I told him that several years ago Ray did a DNR but I had overridden it when he was in the hospital. He went to great lengths to discuss this with me and about that time the doctor who is over palliative care came in and joined the discussion.
They told me about a certain case where a patient was revived, transferred to another hospital and four hours later was able to write that he did not want to live like that. He said most of the people who are resuscitated end up on a ventilator. Ray wouldn't want to live like that. So, in the end, I told them I'd go with Ray's wishes. I realize when they're in the throes of death, it's their time and to stop or postpone it is probably against God's will - even though that's what we'd prefer.
Before he was finished Dr. G came in and we talked more. So, it ended up with probable discharge Monday - if some help is in place. Oxygen will be brought and set up Sunday morning. If I find I can't take care of him with help, he can be admitted to palliative care for a while until they can find a geriatric psychiatric placement.
That person should not be a social worker. I told Dr. G who it was and he threw up his hands - he understood - guess he's had some dealings with her.
Ray seemed better after he was up. He even walked quite a lot with the tall walker. His eyes were bright and he seemed happy to be up. He told me he missed me so much - not a bit more than I miss him. I'm going to try this and with God's help and some outside help, I think we can do it. He'll be better when he gets home and so will I.
The doctors, all three, explained that as your body gets older and you get an infection, it's much harder to bounce back, especially if you have dementia. I know Ray's not as well as he was even a year ago but before this he was up and around, pushing WM's carts and feeding himself.
It just all seemed so final - and that's so scary to me. All of this discussion was before I thought Ray recognized me - but the RN told me when I was crying Ray was so concerned. She said, he's there and he loves you. The nurses and aides are so nice and patient with him. The RN told me I had a hard time ahead of me but the way he reacted when I was there that maybe I could do it. She cared for her mother who had AL so she could really empathize.
His pneumonia is resolving even though the x-ray doesn't yet show that. He doesn't have a temp and his white count is okay. BP is all right but respiration is still somewhat high. So, they've treated the infections with antibiotics and he's rehydrated so they've done about all they can.
We'll see how things shake out Monday. I'm not sure the doctor really knew but he said because Ray is 100% SC they can bring him home and into the house. Maybe they won't need to by Monday.
I'm sorry - I realize I've told things kind of out of order but it's hard to remember some of it. There was a clear misunderstanding between the doctor, social worker and me. She really misinformed the doctor about things she said we discussed. She wouldn't have lasted a month the way SWS used to be. Maybe she's the bad apple in the bunch of good SWs. I do know the outpatient SW is wonderful and was such a help to me a year or so ago.
The weather was really awful on the way home, rainy and foggy and the roads were muddy. So glad I got those knobbies on this week before the rain. I hope the feed in the back of the PU didn't get wet. I had two tarps on it, below and on top with Anaplas blocks holding it down so maybe it didn't.
I've eaten a few crackers since I've been home so I'm not hungry now - maybe an apple later. I know I'm not eating right. Johanna, that soup sounds good - I'm really a soup person. If I had time this weekend, I might make some vegetable soup. I want to spend as much time with Ray as I can so he can improve more before Monday. I really haven't done much of anything all week so should do a little bit this weekend - I'll probably spend my time at home medicating cats. They may not be too receptive to the eye ointment (four will be getting that and drops for Barclee in addition).
I'll be back later to see what's going on. Sorry I've gone on and on but just get irritated when people don't do their job and tell things that aren't true. Thank goodness for understanding doctors. Hope I can still say that Monday. Bridget, I can understand your frustration.
Glad you checked in Barbara, I've been wondering if you were anywhere near the fires....I assumed not, because from your posts I gather you are in a suburban area.
Thought we'd be in for some of your heat later this week, but just looked at our forecasts, and it looks like it will pass us by, thank goodness. You really get blasted there don't you.