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Just need to talk to my friends(16)
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 10:35 AM
Joined: 12/3/2013
Posts: 306

Lorita, it's crazy, we both got jury duty calls! I was in such angst, any little thing that upsets my"apple cart". Ha. Anyway did get off, but it's just getting it!

I watched the movie " the notebook" yesterday, tear jerker, probably not a good one to watch. Yesterday was 7 weeks since Don died, and the memories of that last afternoon still come up, just have to let it work thru.

My favorite "shopping stores " are the Goodwill and salvation army. Hardly ever buy any new clothes anymore. For some reason I'm ok just meandering around them, but not in malls...

Someone mentioned the price of beef, $5/6 for chuck roast! I mostly eat vegan/ vegetarian but sometimes an egg sandwich or hamburger with onions hits the spot!

Friday is my SS appt to apply for widows benefits, it will be what it will be, I'll do my best..........keep warm, may have to buy a bunch of tulips!! Roxy

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 12:19 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi Roxy,

That is crazy! We've owned the farm for over 20 years and neither of us had ever gotten a summons for jury duty. You're right, any little thing that can cause anxiety. I called them after I'd read that if you're 70 you're not compelled to serve. Guess that's one advantage of being old. You know mother served on a jury many years ago after she retired and she enjoyed but I don't think I would.

I love The Notebook but I always cry when I see it. But, wouldn't it be wonderful if it could end like it did in the show? There should be a law that when one goes, the other one does.

It'll be 7 weeks tomorrow since I lost Charles Ray. It seems like the time is going so fast - and going so slow - at the same time. Wonder how that happens?

I also love to go to Goodwill - we did go there a lot in years past when we'd go to Tulsa. I think our nearest bigger town has one but I've never been there. Never have shopped at The Salvation Army. I've done most of my shopping on QVC and from Blair and Haband. I don't need to get any more clothes - never go anywhere except to town for groceries and feed and I usually wear jeans to that town. Now that my friend isn't close anymore probably won't be going out to lunch much either although the other friends are still there. I just don't have the desire to go anywhere. I had to make myself go to town yesterday and wouldn't have then if I hadn't had to get feed for the cattle, dogs and cats. I could very easily turn into a hermit.

I actually did see about seven people yesterday that I knew. Before I hadn't seen anyone all week except the vet when he came to hay the cattle. Before that it had been a week except for the FedEx guy.

Like I said in my post yesterday I did seem to do better than I did the last time I went to town - at least I didn't almost break down in the store or cry all the way home - but I did go to a different grocery store.

The price of meat doesn't bother me at all. I haven't eaten meat or chicken in many years. Now, I hardly ever eat fish. I think I have a couple of pieces of it in the freezer and may cook it for Phoebe, Barclee and I. I haven't even eaten tuna for a couple of years. I've been a vegetarian for many years but do eat eggs occasionally and milk products.

I got some lettuce yesterday for salads and I seem to remember that Bridget, I think, said she cuts up a whole head at one time and that way doesn't have to do that every time she makes a salad. I think I'll try that.

I've been pretty busy this morning. I fed everyone, then dried a load of laundry and paid a couple of bills. Also called one insurance company to cancel the policy. Also tried to get things organized to take to the ODVA Friday to get the VA things done. Then I'll have to go to the County Seat to take care of the property tax thing - but I guess it's better to be busy.

Good luck on your SS appointment Friday - hope things work out all right. I haven't checked but SS told me when they called they'd deposit the $255 in our bank account within seven days. Is your appointment by telephone?

The weather here is deteriorating. It's stopped sleeting but the north wind is horrible. The cattle have come out of the barn and are eating hay. It's snowing north of here and coming this way and from Amarillo. I don't think we'll get a lot. I doubt I'll be able to feed the cattle today - guess I should have last night. Even if it does snow and stops soon enough, I will, but I hate to pull them out of the barn and south of the house where they're out of the wind. I feed north of the barn and it's very windy there.

I hope you're sleeping better, Roxy. Go ahead and take some Xanax if you need it. I haven't taken anything today but don't seem to need it - been too busy, I guess.

Take care and everyone, stay warm. I think this cold front extends from NM all the way to the east coast. Will spring ever come?

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 12:29 PM
Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 2333

HELLO TO ALL OF YOU!! You all know who you are"lol". i'm sorry I have been away longer than I wanted to. I do not know where the day goes sometimes, Sort clean out, throw out, run to the store, FAX this mail that, laundry, Dishes, what will we eat for supper??? Not too mention dealing with Rich. Well I got my Packet last Fri in the mail. It was a big white envelope, and I have to say I have not read the whole thing yet. I was upset because the FLIP WAS IN, and it was not sealed. on the first page of this booklet has my husbands Name, address, and Soc Sec #.. All the crap I get on phone calls, wanting info on my husband, When I have a POA, and after talking to DEFAS, for over 3yrs, I call the other day, and they said ,they have nothing on me, to give me Rich info???? NO YOU JUST SEND IT OUT INTO THE WORLD, so everyone else can have it... WELL they are not the ones the packet came from.. DEFAS, is pension pay for time in the service. It would be the Veterans Administration who sent me the Packet. So I had to fax another copy of my POA. On fri, "and I was able to bring the packet with me". The VSO of the American Leagon that Rich belongs to, had me see another VSO, who is very popular. He has a Doc Degree, in Soc Serves, and has trained all the VSO'S around here, as well as put into effect some of the bene, that we now all enjoy. I was able to spend an hour with this man, and his assistant. After reading my packet, he said their was over 1500.00 dollars withheld from your bene, due to the fact they did not know what Rich was doing on the Jeep, at the time of the accident. So he is asking for the Medical records, because the officer in charge, has to write somewhere, if they were going to a practice or not. If they were on their way to practice, that is like doing it for real, and he wants to get that money back to me.
ALSO, I do not think I have ever shared this, but I feel close enough to you all now, that I do not mind telling you that my Son Sean, is having a hard time with Richie's illness. He looks and sounds so much like Rich, and I can't wonder weather this child, keeps thinking out of all my three, he is the one who will suffer this awful Disease. When Rich was Diagnosed he was away at college, and we saw a change in him, like drive or something died inside this child. Once he called me at 4am, he could not sleep, and if he does he dreams, and wakes to shaking, and trouble breathing. We went to his school and took him to the ER. It was a panic attack, He has GREAT FRIENDS, who have been with him since 9 grade. I told Sean, " you have great friends, you need to share". Your friends care about you, and you need to talk about what has happened, otherwise you internalize it and it is making you sick.
So he has gotten a lot better since than. However, Sean does take med's for depression, and he does talk to a doctor. You see when Sean was in the 10 grade, he did try to take his own life. I had gotten up and was getting ready for work, went into this Room and he was not there. I started calling his, to no answer, I went to the back door, and there he sat outside, no coat, and I walked over to him, and saw a knife in his hand. He looked at me, and said "it's ok Mom, i'm not going to do it". When I walked him in the house, he emptied his pockets, and here was a pic of him and his Dad, another pic. of him with his siblings. I asked him to take a shower, and keep the door open a little, he did, than Rich and I took him to a local ER, He was admitted for over a week, and has been in counseling ever since. He is a great kid, and this week is his 24th Birthday. He just has a lot of Anxiety. All of us go out of our way when his birthday hits, because we feel we almost lost him. So back to this VSO, who comes to my county to help out, but he is from OCEAN CO. and that is where I will be moving, so I was glad to hear that. This VSO asked about my children, and asked if any of them who live home were having a hard time. So I told him my concerns about Sean.. he than took out a forum for Sean to sign, and he will try to get Sean a bene, called the "helpless Child Act". this would be a sum of money for Sean to go back to school, or take classes for anything that would help with his Anxiety, He could pay for Thi Chi, or Acupuncture etc... I thought it was nice that he would go through this much trouble for a 23yr old, because as Sean's Mom, I worry about him.. I did not lose my Dad until I was 44yrs old, Rich and Sean share a Sports love, He use to take Sean to school everyday.
ok, it seems there was supposed to be some kind of paper with a seal for me to take to the township. NO, I did not get one of those, So this Man called NEWARK ,NJ, and is having them send me one. Also he took POA, over Rich to represent him. Now when that goes through, he will have POA ON ME, just over VA affairs.. representing me, to help me be the FIDUCIARY. All of this is complicated, and now I need to fill out the LIFE INS, forum, and fax it to this VSO, so he can file for it for Rich, One person says RICH CAN'T HAVE THIS PAID FOR, because it has to be before his 65th birthday, however he has had his TBI, for over 40yrs? He will not be 66yrs old until May. So if this VSO get's him this $10,000 Life Ins Policy and gets them to pay for it, He will have my Vote for sure.

So that is my update. Yes the weather sucks in Jersey too. We are so bad for ICE, you can't find rock salt for miles, and now the shelf in the food store do not have an TABLE SALT, because that is what we are all using.
Yes, I have some pic of SPIN WIND THINGS.... I will try and post.
Loritta, I loved your pic, especially the one of Ray, such a SWEET PHOTO.. Now you know how I am about PICTURES, I want to see one of LIAM, I want to see one of you and RAY TOGETHER, I also want to see a picture of Ray in his policeman's uniform, you said he did that for a while.. He just looked so sweet in that pic. Loved it. How is it going with the "puppy wait"??? Did she have the pups's yet? Looking forward to see one pup, and one rescue on your prop, before May... So here are some pictures. I hope you all know , you guys are always in my thoughts. I will try to get back on later, because I do have some other News to share with you all. Linda T. i'm sorry about Rod's decline, I do remember when Rich first started to forget where the bathroom was in our home, We live in a 3 bed ranch, how could you lose it??? It was hard to believe. Ok, I will be back, oh! welcome Dana,,,
the best to you all! Bridget the black lab on the floor is mine.. our JEWEL, hates the weather...

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Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 1:00 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

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Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 1:15 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi Bridget,

Well, that was weird! I wrote a post, couldn't attach the pictures because it said they were too large. I resized them, again, then edited the post and the written portion didn't show up.

Anyway, the first picture is of three of the little calves with Susie watching them, the second is of Liam and the third is of Susie and Bella playing in the snow. In the first one you can see some of the cows at one of the hayrings.

You mentioned the paper with the seal on it. I guess that's the one you take to the Tax Assessor's office so you won't have to pay property tax. I'll be able to get ours Friday when I see the ODVA Service Officer.

I don't have a picture of Ray in his uniform on the computer and haven't figured out yet how to scan - I don't even know for sure where the picture is.

I liked all of your pictures. The one of the tractor wind spinner reminds me of Ray on his tractor. Was that a GP puppy with the goat? Did you see my post from yesterday where I talked about seeing the trailer load of goats someone had just bought at the sale? They were so cute. Ray always wanted a couple of little goats but I think there's too many coyotes around here for that. Our neighbor lost all their lambs one year and he's just a mile from us.

It's not snowing here yet. We're in a dry slot and I wish we'd stay there until all of this is over. Looks like this cold front and weather is all across the US so you'll probably get more snow, too.

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 1:45 PM
Joined: 7/9/2013
Posts: 3205

I am so sorry your son is having such a time. My children were 14 and 16 when their dad suddenly died of a heart attack. My son was 14 and it was so very hard for him, he rode his bike out to the cemetery everyday for several years. His sister had a boyfriend, they have been married 32 years now, the effect on her was different. They all react so different. Your love and kindness will see him through, I do understand. I am sure it is much worse for him to see his dad, prayers for you both.
I liked your pics. In AR we hung one on the corner of the roof in front and one on opposite corner in back. It kept the woodpeckers from putting holes in the house. They would make them big enough for nest and their eggs. We had lots of birds all kinds over there, I loved it.

Linda Dee
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 1:46 PM
Joined: 8/13/2013
Posts: 802

HI ALL. We have had rain, sleet and snow here.
Sandy, Happy Anniversary to you and Rich. What a lovely wedding picture!
Also, Happy Birthday to Rich tomorrow. Did Rich ever complain because his B'day and anniversary were so close together? Ken's B'day and our anniversary are only eight days apart.

Bonnie, glad your app't was not today! What is the Hydroxyzine medication for? I hope dr will discontinue the Clonazepam, for Ken, when we go on Monday.
Leanne, how are you making it today? Do you go to the shop to sew on cold days, or not?
Joan, hope you are feeling better by now.
Is Harv doing okay mentally, after being sick? That is when took a sharp decline, when he was sick.

LindaT, sorry about your dh declining too.
Guess we all know the decline will happen, sooner or later. Doesn't mean we are ready for it.
Barbara, haven't seen a post from you recently. Have I missed it?
Also several others haven't posted recenty.
The temps here are to be in the 70's next week. I am ready!!
Lorita, I am surprised you are able to eat iceberg lettuce with your diviticulitis (sp).
I am anxious for you to receive your fingerprint pendant. Does it come with a chain or will you have purchase one?

I need to get up and do laundry and change the bed...imagine that!!
Blessings to all of us.

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 2:18 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 859

Seems like this is the month for jury summons. I got one as well but I just checked the box where it said I was over 70, wrote my date of birth, and sent it in. When LO was still home, maybe 7 years ago, I got a summons for superior court jury, and I wrote a letter explaining LO's dependence on me, etc, etch and I was excused from service. I told them how I would be uncomfortable traveling to that city back and forth from the parking lot to the courthouse without my pepper spray. Of course the other day I got a summons for the court in the next city, must be a different court system.
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 2:36 PM
Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 2333

Lorita, thanks for the nice pic, and for enjoying mine.. I understand about scanning I would not be able to do it either, only I have Sean here, and those are some of the things he learned in College. Once he did a doc on me and my Dogs. I will see one day if he can help me post the Video here, I know you would have enjoyed seeing it. He is so good with the computer, and my Son in Law, is also so good with cell phones, and computers and TV's... amazing to have someone like that around.
OMG, Liam is so cute. I need Ink, but i will be enlarging that for my GRAND DAUGHTERS, AND putting im on the FRIDGE. This is surly his MONTH, with St. Patrick's day coming. Loved seeing the Dogs injoying the outside, and watching the heard...
Your little pup is very cute. So Glad you are enjoying her.
Joan, sorry about hubby not being well, but glad he is doing better, but now it sounds like he gave it to you.. So feel better..
I'm off to get some laundry folded... BONNIE, I thank you for your Kind words for Sean. He has considered joining this board, So i'm hoping he will and post on the CARETAKERS board. I also thank you Bonnie, for sharing your story of your children s loss. I feel like he is thinking he has not had many Miles stones in his life, that he wants to share with his Dad.. His first major job, to have a girlfriend, get married, and to have a child himself. He is a real sensitive kid.. I had him when I was 39yrs of age. So he is our baby...
Well, my best to you all.

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Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 2:37 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 1118

Hey y'all! Crazy week for me! Had to leave work Mon. to run out to county seat to file Mom's probate estate inventory, dentist appt. today, And taking Thurs off to drive BIL out of town for surgery! Tax season is still in full swing - phew!
On the bright side, we got up to 40* today! I cannot get over the huge ice chunks that are falling out from under my truck - some are bigger than a bread box! Also, got word that our puppy should be born on May 5th! SOOOOO excited! Should be able to go get him the last week of June, or 1st of July.
Lorita, glad you got the generator hooked up! Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Really enjoyed the photos! Love my Boggs, but I have to use my boot jack too!
Joan, Glad Harv's feeling better. Hope you're over your bug soon!
Linda T., sorry it's such a decline lately. Awful hard to see - extra hugs to you!
Happy anniversary to Sandy and Rich! Wishing all as great a day as possible! Big hugs all around, Twink

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 4:27 PM
Joined: 7/21/2014
Posts: 1164

Hi everyone, I just spent 30 minutes typing the "longest" post and all of a sudden, I was logged out and the post was gone!
Must be a sign I was getting too windy. Don't have the time or energy to do it over. Hope everyone is well and having a good day despite the weather. Leanne

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 6:34 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi everyone,

Leanne, rest up and rewrite your post to let us know what's going on in Montana. The woman I write to in Missoula is in Florida now enjoying pretty, warm weather. Won't it be nice when we all can.

It's snowing to beat the band right now. We've had rain, then sleet, then more rain, freezing rain, sleet and now snow. I just came back in from feeding the cats. Most of the cows were in the barn except a dozen or so who were still eating hay. I ran the tank full of water for them and there was water in the one at the barn so didn't have to fill that one tonight. I just looked and there's still two of them out there but they'll be going in soon.

Sandy - I don't know how I missed your wedding picture and your new avatar. The picture is so good and you both look so happy. Don't you wish we could all go back to our wedding day? Hope your day went well.

Bridget - why don't you wait until I take another picture of Liam where you can tell what he looks like and isn't so dark. The sun will shine in a couple of days and I'll do that.

I think I took a nap this afternoon - the phone woke me up and it was Carol. We had a nice, long visit. Good to talk with her. I'm really glad I went to town yesterday and got some dog food for the girls. I didn't get to feed the cattle today but will tomorrow.

I didn't even go to the mailbox today and I know Ray's death certificate is there but I have the windshields covered up and I'm surely not going to drive the CW. If it's not too cold in the morning, I'll go. I may put off going to the VARO until Monday - supposed to be really nice next week.

Linda Dee - I haven't eaten much lettuce since I had diverticulitis. I googled it and it said lettuce has some fiber in it which is good for you but now I'm not sure. Have you known someone who had trouble with eating it after diverticulitis. I do know when I had cholecystitis, the doctor told me lettuce was one of the worst things to eat for that. I'm anxious to get the pendant, too. I'll have to either buy a chain for it or use one I already have.

Bridget - I failed to tell you how sorry I am that Sean is having so much trouble with Rich's dementia. He just wants to remember his dad like he's always been - it's hard for a child to see their parents fail. I know it was hard to see the decline in my parents.

Twink - the generator is covered with ice right now but we're having snow so I don't think we'll lose power. It does give me a sense of security about the weather though.

I tried to feed the birds when I went out but the feeder was frozen over and I couldn't open it so put the seed on the ground.

terromari - it is strange about the jury summons, isn't it. I'm glad to know I won't be getting another one.

Our vet just called to see if I'd gotten things done and got back inside all right. He was on the way to check a cow he thought was going to calve. He said he'd had seven today and brought three back to the clinic. They had just been born and were wet and he said they'd never have survived on the ice. He'll go home and rest a while and go back out and check all the pastures again about midnight. I sure hope ours hold off until the weather warms up.

Twink - I know how excited you must be about knowing when the new puppy will be born. Mine may be born before that. I'll call in a few days and see if she knows. I think the gestation period is about 60+ days. When you go after the puppy, the weather will be nice and warm. This is the weekend when the time changes - I dread that - always takes me a while to adjust. I think I'd rather have daylight in the mornings instead of at night.

Guess I'll go and see if I can find something for supper - not really hungry but guess I need to eat something

I'll check in later.

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 6:59 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1325

sorry but can;t get bold to work for now.

Linda Dee, thanks for missing me. But lately I feel like the little duck, paddling madly under water just to stay afloat.-- managing all the things going on in our lives, while keeping Graham's routine as normal as possible.

While he was ill with the flu [he has recovered completely now] I had to change quite a few appointments with docs and dentists. Then our best friend died from cancer, his funeral clashed with some of the new appointments I had made, and I had to change them again. But I managed to appear calm, as when I get upset, so does dh.

I think we are finally getting back onto a steadier routine, which will be a relief, I can tell you.

I am trying to use our local heated pool for exercise a few times a week, while dh is in care. Also started spending a couple of hours a fortnight as a volunteer in the local NH admin office. That makes me feel I am helping someone else, and I alse enjoy meeting more people, and doing things that are out of my usual habits.

Now that March is here, we are officially in autumn. But it is still possible to get very hot weather, but just for the next few days the weather is just warm and pleasant. A couple of tomato plants have survived the heat - with my help creating a shade house for them out of old blankets!, and I am still picking the odd small fruit. But the main harvest is well past.

Another long screed. Hope it doesn't disappear when I try to post it!


Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 8:20 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi again,

Bold not working - again.

Barbara, I'm glad at least some of your tomato plants survived the heat. Our neighbor has a garden and in the summer I see sheets and everything else flapping in the wind - protecting the tomatoes and other plants from the hot, Oklahoma sun.

I'm glad your husband recovered nicely from the flu - I've been trying to avoid it. There's been more than 90 people die from the flu in Oklahoma this year. Sorry about your friend - seems like when it rains, it pours, doesn't it. A boy I went to school with passed away about three weeks ago from cancer. I hadn't seen him for years and didn't know he was sick. I saw his brother yesterday and he said he was 70. Gosh, how hard to believe we've gotten this old.

I'm having a bad night so just wanted to come back and vent a little bit. I've been watching the Waltons and the first one I watched was sad. They had such a big family - always someone around when you needed them. Then, I guess I got to feeling sad for myself - snowing like crazy outside and here I am sitting here in the house by myself. I guess it's going to be like this from now on and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I don't like being alone. When Ray was here, everything was all right - we were together. I always told him that as long as we were together everything was going to be okay - we could do anything. We did so many things together and really enjoyed just being together. Kind of like the two of us against the world - now, it's just me.

I think part of it's the weather and the fact that tomorrow will be 7 weeks since I lost Ray. Next month will be extra hard. Easter comes on Ray's 83rd birthday this year. Our 44th anniversary will be next month. April was the month we always went to Eureka Springs. Spring was his favorite time of the year. I thought I was doing better - and I was. Guess I've just been sitting, thinking too much. I'll get over it - no choice, is there? If we'd have had children, maybe it would be different, but maybe not - you never know.

I'm sorry I'm so down tonight - don't mean to be and don't want to be. Just wanted to come and talk a bit to my friends. I'm okay - or will be. Maybe I need a coke.

Sea Field
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 8:34 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872

Lorita, I'm listening. I'm so sorry this has been such a tough day. I wish it was different for you. I wish it was different for all of us.

Tomorrow is a new day. There is a chance it will feel more hopeful when you wake up. I sure hope so.

Hugs for you, Cynthia

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 8:37 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20231

Lorita et al...we are always here to listen! Snowing here too...very pretty...looks like it will go on all night.

I think you should get an inside dog. I talk to Luke all day...he is really good company!

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 8:52 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Thanks Cynthia and jfkoc,

Thank you both for being there. I had just come back to delete my post. I don't want to bring someone else down who might be going through the same thing but feeling better. Sometimes, though, I just have to get it out of my system and down on paper.

It's stopped snowing here but the north wind is really cold. I'll be better in the morning when I can get outside and walk in the snow. I was one off in my count this evening, a calf, but I imagine he was just behind someone else or laying down in the barn somewhere. I'll take some pictures and feel better.

jfkoc - Barclee's inside but he's very quiet - can't see much and sleeps almost all the time. I might get an inside one and an outside one and then the GP - one or two more won't make a difference - the more the merrier. How's Luke doing? Sounds like he must be improving. I talk to the cats and Barclee, too, and it does help. It's just the weather and too much thinking that has led to all of this.

We didn't have any big flakes of snow - just the sleet and pellet-like snow. I like to see the big flakes fall but we hardly ever get that.

Cynthia, I'll be better when I wake up and it's not snowing - and the sun's supposed to shine tomorrow!

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 9:09 PM
Joined: 11/3/2012
Posts: 2270

Good evening all. Finally feeling like standing up today. Haven't felt that dizzy and light headed in years. I didn't get the cold that everyone had along with it at the MC. My daughter called to check on Harv Monday night for me, and they said he finally ate his dinner, so seemed to be on the mend. I will probably rest up another day and then go see him Friday or Saturday. I should be rested, all I've done for three days is sleep and throw up. I hope he hasn't lost any ground after being sick, but I know it can happen.

Lorita, your pictures were so good of the cattle and dogs. The dogs looked like they were having a lot of fun. The best picture was the one of Ray. He did look so happy, and his eyes were so bright. I'm glad you are getting your paper work finished up. That should make you feel better to have that out of the way. I hope every day you go to town gets easier for you. I hope you continue to come talk when you are lonely or sad. We are all here and feeling the same way at different times. It helps to talk, doesn't it? Maybe you should drink a coke and find something funny to watch on tv. I know, it does seem kind of lonely in a big ole house by yourself.

Sandy, your wedding picture is beautiful. Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday to Rich.

Terromari, Keisha is so cute. Makes me want one of those cute little dogs. Looks like good company with that cute little face.

Leanne, sorry you lost your post. That's disheartening after typing a long post and getting your thoughts out. Hate when that happens.

Bridget, loved all your wonderful pictures. The dog and goat were so cute. I'm sorry Sean is having a hard time. I hope he can find peace within himself; the extra money for classes would be great, wouldn't it. I will be praying for all of you. The paperwork you have filled out has to be mountains by now. Sure hope it comes to fruition soon and you and Rich can both be settled. How's the packing coming along?

We have had 3-4 inches of snow every day since Sunday night. It is getting too warm, so most of it melts off in a hurry. Temps are supposed to be below freezing tonight, then warm up to the 40-50's next week. Will surely feel like spring here.

Stay warm everyone and be careful on the ice. Have a great sleep tonight. Joan

Linda Dee
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 10:09 PM
Joined: 8/13/2013
Posts: 802

I am trying to post photos, please be patient with me.
Linda Dee
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 10:42 PM
Joined: 8/13/2013
Posts: 802

Well, that did not work!
Lorita, I am feeding Diamond Lite Grain Free dogfood right now. I like the 4-Health at Tractor Supply, it is also grain free, but the store is about 45 minutes from me.

And, yes, I did have a friend with diverticulitis that could not eat iceberg lettuce, as it breaks down because of the type it is. She could eat most any kind of lettuce, but the iceberg lettuce.
Twink, good to see your post! Also, good to have exciting news about your upcoming addition, to the family. I love puppies and puppy breath!

Leanne, I also love the smell of horses and leather saddles. I have heard nothing brings back memories any faster than odors. Guess that would be both good and bad.

Barbara, good to hear from you and know what is going on. After a hot Summer I am always ready for fall. You must be with the temps you have had this summer. Were those normal temps or did you set new high temps?
SANDRA, you should get your mini horse a mini goat for a companion. Have you heard the old saying, "He got my goat"? Goats and horses get very attached to one another. When horse races and bets were popular, in the olden days, if one wanted to make sure a particular horse would not make a good showing in an upcoming race, one would steal the goat. The horse would miss the goat and not run well. I guess sort of mourning for his goat. TMI I'm sure!!
Better get to bed, I need to take Ken for a haircut in the morning.
Rest well dear friends.

Mrs. Braxton
Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2015 10:44 PM
Joined: 9/12/2012
Posts: 929

Hey Lorita
I just read your post. I understand the feeling down and alone. Having children myself, life is not always more full bc of children, it could be more lonely knowing they are not around for you .
I am so happy you have this site and have so many great friends here.
So it will be spring, you and the whole country has had it with the snow and cold winter.
Hope you sleep well tonight .

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 8:40 AM
Joined: 12/3/2013
Posts: 306

Two little booklets have helped and continue to help me, given to me by different services . One is Grief Therapy, other is Caregiver Therapy, from Abbey Press. I find if I just sit with my colored pencils and color some of drawings, read and reread, etc, that they have helped me and still do. How many of you have used these little booklets??
Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:17 AM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Good morning all. Bob is still sleeping. We got about 3 inches of sleet/snow already trying to melt in the bright sun.

I got a phone call from our son this morning and that is always good for me.

I enjoyed all your pics. The new puppy is soo cute and the goats with their doggie friends looking like best buddies. Adorable!!
Loritas, the pic of Ray is priceless. When we get smiles like his from our LO doesn't that make it all worthwhile?

Lorita you asked about using the passion fruit. You can google it and get some really good ideas. What I did was cut them in half like a melon then scoop everything into a small fine sieve and strain out the juice to use in smoothies. It's tart like a kiwi fruit so may need a little sweetening but is really delicious. Great mixed in yogurt too!
They look kind of like a slightly shriveled ping pong ball when ripe only not white. They are dark brownish and greenish mingled together. On the inside when you cut it open its juicy pulp and full of black seeds. We love them.

I hope everyone has a great day a with quickly melting snow and lots of sun, giving way to the reality of springtime!
Dana 😃

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:23 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi everyone,

The sun is shining! It's beautiful outside. I put on my Bogs, coat, hats and gloves and went out to feed the cats and to see all the girls. Everyone was out in the loafing area except four. Of course two of those were the bulls - they're always the first to make it to the barn when it starts to rain or snow.

The snow is beautiful - Bridget, I took a couple of pictures of Liam and will post them later today. Also took one of the daffodils with their little droopy heads in the snow. The dogs are having a great time in the snow.

It really didn't seem too cold this morning. The temp is low but there's no wind. The ground isn't fully frozen and even the ice on the water tanks wasn't frozen too much.

I didn't go to the mailbox yesterday and I think I'll wait until she runs today and make one trip do. I'll feed later today, too.

I'm better today - just have to keep busy and not think too much.

Roxy, I haven't seen those booklets. I'm glad they're helping you. It's not easy, is it? Today is the 7th week for me without Ray. I'm finding if I try not to think about it, it's much easier but if I begin to dwell on something, it's downhill from there. Sometimes even looking at his picture will set me off.

I've decided I'll wait until Monday to go to the VARO. I know with melting the roads will be horrible tomorrow and I'll probably drive the car and it's not too good in the mud. It's supposed to be in the 60s Monday. I'll call tomorrow and see if the service officer is going to be in the office Monday

Joan, I'm so sorry you've been sick but glad you're better. Was it the flu? If so it does take some time to get over it. My friend was out of commission for almost a full month.

The dogs love the snow. I fixed the place where Susie was getting out so she's in the yard and Bella's out. I saw her a minute ago just sitting in the snow looking at the pond -probably heard a dog bark somewhere.

Thanks for the good comments about the pictures. Ray did look so happy - I'm glad I found that picture - looked kind of mischievous along with being happy. He loved to wear hats - guess it kept his head warm. He has a blue Korean War Vets cap and he had all his medals on it but for some reason took them off and they've been lost. When we get another one of the catalogs that have the little replicas of medals you can order, I think I'll order them and put them on the cap and put that with his other things from the war. I made a shadow box with his medals and a couple of other things in the sunroom. He was really proud of being a soldier.

Linda Dee - I never knew where the phrase "got your goat" came from. That's very interesting. I thought those little goats I saw yesterday were so cute. One or two little goats could be a lot of company for Sandra's little horse. There's a pasture a mile or so south of us that has a few of the little horses in it - they are so cute. Also on the road to Muskogee, there's a pasture with cattle and they have one llama. I've always thought they need another one for him to have company. I see him laying by himself a lot so I think he's lonesome - but that's just me.

I'm going to check into the prices of the Diamond grain-free vs. 4-Health vs. Taste of the Wild dog foods. If I get another inside dog and an outside dog and the GP puppy, I'll have to feed a lot of food. I think the Beneful dogfood looks a lot tastier than the TOTW because it has different shapes and colors - the TOTW are little round, brown things.

What are you having trouble with in posting your pictures? You know you need to resize them before you try to attach them. The trouble I have is finding them again. Let us know what your trouble is and we'll help. I had a lot of trouble with it when I first began trying, too - took me a couple of years to finally get it done.

I think I'll call my doctor's office and see what he thinks about the lettuce. I surely don't want diverticulitis again.

Angela - I've had several people tell me the same thing about having kids. They might live in different parts of the country or just too busy to be around much. I'll be all right. Some days are just harder than others. With the help of all of you and my animals, I'll make it. Roxy and I are just at about the same place and I think we're both having some hard days.

Need to do dishes today - you all know I have a hard time getting started on that. I got all of the laundry done except for some rugs. I have so little laundry to do now. I bet our trash man wonders what in the world happened, too. I'd have maybe 8 sacks of trash before and now only two or three.

Guess I'd better go and get another cup of tea. Hope all of you have a good day and that your weather is better and warmer today.

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:31 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi Dana,

Just read your post - guess we were posting at the same time. So, with the passion fruit, you wait until they turn brownish before you use them? I've broken them open but they were dry inside so guess I waited too long. I did that to move the seeds around so I'd have more. I think the blooms are beautiful and so fragrant.

You said you moved to Rockwall, didn't you? I heard this morning that Dallas had about 6" of snow - all of that will probably melt today. I did hear this morning that there's more cold weather in Western Canada that they think will break loose and come down the end of next week. I hope not - I'm tired of this.

It'll take a few days for our snow to melt. Usually behind the barn (north) the snow really hangs on. The bales of hay have lots of snow on them this morning but it will probably be gone by tomorrow. I see little cat paw prints all in the snow. It's fun to watch them walk through the wet snow because they don't like to get their feet wet. Barclee's already been out in the snow this morning but didn't stay too long.

Hope it warms up a lot for you today.

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 11:05 AM
Joined: 12/17/2014
Posts: 1200

Lorita, just had time to read this post. Want to affirm that you are in deep grief mode and will be for a while. All your feelings are normal including the depression. I know you know that already, but I just want to validate you and remind don't take to heart what anyone else says about how you "should" go through the process and how much time you "should" spend doing or not doing this or that. You do it your own way and that's okay. There might come a point when you're ready for some grief counseling or such and you'll know when or will get lots of encouragement here. Blessings...
Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 12:23 PM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Yes Lorita I would say you waited a bit long if the passion fruit was dry inside. It's funny, we had oodles of them growing on the coral fence in Ok but didn't know what to do with them or how to use them. Now I can't get mine to bear fruit but I buy some occasionally at Sprouts or Whole Foods. Go figure!

Our news said there is 3-6 inches snow across the area from west of FW to E of Dallas. We got right at 3inches. Our daughter in Bixby has less, maybe only 2. Unusual but it does happen.
The roads are already clear so it should be good today but refeeeze for rush hour in the morning.
Our temps should be warming nicely now. I hope for no more setbacks.
Have a nice day. Dana 😍 ( I love all my e-friends)

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 7:11 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi everyone,

If it's clear where you live, go outside and look at the's beautiful.

I'll be back later.

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 8:01 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi again,

I'm back, for a minute or two. Did you all look at the moon?

Most of the snow has melted except on the north side of the house and barn. I fed the girls their cubes and put creepfeed in the feeder for the babies. Before I did that I fed the cats and noticed that the flag pole had fallen down. Ray has always had a flagpole with the flag flying. After I finished, I checked and tried to put it back up, several times, but it wouldn't fit. Finally figured out that a small section had broken off so it can't be fixed without another new section - or probably a new flagpole. The man who put it up for us bought it somewhere but I don't have any idea where. Maybe I can figure out something else but it has to be that high for the flag to fly correctly. I'll work on that tomorrow.

I didn't wear my Bogs - thought it would be too muddy and it seemed pretty warm. I was out longer than I thought I would be and liked to never have gotten my feet warmed up, even with two pairs of socks on. I know my back and sides are going to be sore tomorrow. I had to get on a stepstool and raise the pole up and over the section that was still there. Probably did that four or five times, trying something new each time. Finally figured out it wouldn't work without a new piece. I think it must be about 20 ft. tall. It's aluminum and not too heavy but balancing it was hard. I'm trying to put Theragesic everywhere I think will be sore and have the heating pad on my back now. Seems like I can't do anything without pulling a muscle or getting sore. Old age, I guess.

Bridget - I took a couple of pictures of Liam this morning in the snow and also one of the daffodils. The snow has melted off the flowers now and they've raised their heads. I'll see if I got them small enough to post.

Today has been much better although I did get Ray's death certificate and that wasn't easy. I'm not going into town tomorrow - going to wait until Monday when it's supposed to be in the 60s.

Dana - that's a lot of snow for Texas but it does happen occasionally. Looks like they're really getting a lot on the east coast - and in Kentucky. Glad it's over here but it is so awfully muddy. I called and asked them to bring the liquid feed while the ground is still frozen in the morning - if it does freeze.

Thank you, Storyteller, for the encouraging words. It's good to know that my friends are here when I need them. I will take my time and things will work out but there will always be that empty place in my heart.

I'll check in later to see what's going on with everyone. Leanne, maybe your post won't disappear tonight. I hate when that happens.

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 8:13 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13465

Hi again,

I'm back, for a minute or two. Did you all look at the moon?

Most of the snow has melted except on the north side of the house and barn. I fed the girls their cubes and put creepfeed in the feeder for the babies. Before I did that I fed the cats and noticed that the flag pole had fallen down. Ray has always had a flagpole with the flag flying. After I finished, I checked and tried to put it back up, several times, but it wouldn't fit. Finally figured out that a small section had broken off so it can't be fixed without another new section - or probably a new flagpole. The man who put it up for us bought it somewhere but I don't have any idea where. Maybe I can figure out something else but it has to be that high for the flag to fly correctly. I'll work on that tomorrow.

I didn't wear my Bogs - thought it would be too muddy and it seemed pretty warm. I was out longer than I thought I would be and liked to never have gotten my feet warmed up, even with two pairs of socks on. I know my back and sides are going to be sore tomorrow. I had to get on a stepstool and raise the pole up and over the section that was still there. Probably did that four or five times, trying something new each time. Finally figured out it wouldn't work without a new piece. I think it must be about 20 ft. tall. It's aluminum and not too heavy but balancing it was hard. I'm trying to put Theragesic everywhere I think will be sore and have the heating pad on my back now. Seems like I can't do anything without pulling a muscle or getting sore. Old age, I guess.

Bridget - I took a couple of pictures of Liam this morning in the snow and also one of the daffodils. The snow has melted off the flowers now and they've raised their heads. I'll see if I got them small enough to post.

Today has been much better although I did get Ray's death certificate and that wasn't easy. I'm not going into town tomorrow - going to wait until Monday when it's supposed to be in the 60s.

Dana - that's a lot of snow for Texas but it does happen occasionally. Looks like they're really getting a lot on the east coast - and in Kentucky. Glad it's over here but it is so awfully muddy. I called and asked them to bring the liquid feed while the ground is still frozen in the morning - if it does freeze.

Thank you, Storyteller, for the encouraging words. It's good to know that my friends are here when I need them. I will take my time and things will work out but there will always be that empty place in my heart.

I'll check in later to see what's going on with everyone. Leanne, maybe your post won't disappear tonight. I hate when that happens.

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Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 8:45 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 859

Lorita, I fed Rodney Beneful and Mighty Dog, but at the last he ate very little Beneful and that was moistened with water to make it softer. I did see some stuff on the internet about Beneful that made me a little leery about it. Keisha had a part of a bag of science diet little bites and I am using them up along with Natural Balance Small Breed Bites.Has anyone had experience with that? I am going to pop over to the chat room to say hi then want to watch elementary. It snowed here again overnight into mid morning and road looked icky,always does because we are so high up, so I did not get to see LO today but tomorrow is another day. I just moped and ate and moped some more. Guess I really need to see him. That's it for tonite.
Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 9:40 PM
Joined: 2/14/2013
Posts: 223

Lorita, thanks for letting us know about the moon. Just peeked out my window and its beautiful. Your photos are so pretty but I felt sorry for the daffodils.I always wanted to see what your Ray looked like so thank you for posting his picture. He has a beautiful smile and I know you miss seeing that a lot. What a cute picture of Liam and the snow pictures and well all of them, the sunsets, the pond.What a wonderful place you have. I can see why you would never live in the city.HappyBee

Adult only child
Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:14 PM
Joined: 11/28/2012
Posts: 303

Hi everyone, haven't popped in lately. Joan, so glad to hear Harv is in a happy safe place plus you know you made the right choice. Bridget, all hats off to you for showing and teaching your son's what tenacity is and how to use it. Such an enormous WOW Great Job. Lorita, the pix are beautiful, you do have a professionals eye for photography capturing the beauty of your homestead, Can't wait to see more photo's. Twink, happy puppy days are soon to be, YIPPEE (w/out the pee) (old joke). Living vicariously thru your NH winter while in sunny CA. Leanne, since you're close the Canadian border, do you often end your sentences with 'eh'? Had to try a joke! sloppy lol

Barbara and Sandymac, happy autumn to you both. Hope your winter is nothing like our eastern US friends have been experiencing.

Have either of you, or anyone else, heard from Zandra? I posted a shout out, just hoping her head's above the water and the alligator's know she's not to be messed with!

Welcome Dana, another kind voice, wanna share your best spring pie recipe? Bring it!

Calif Dana

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:23 PM
Joined: 7/21/2014
Posts: 1164

Good evening, I just came in from outside, and it is as bright as day out there. Beautiful. Boy, this weather is nuts, all of you down south freezing and we were 50 degrees today. Near 60 by the weekend. I bet I can find a horse to climb on if it gets that warm.
Linda Dee, I always enjoy the smell of horses and leather.
It does stir a lot of memories, but they are the good ones. Hope Ken got his hair cut, sorry he seems to be slipping, seems like a lot of LO's on this thread have taken a step down. Usually after being sick.
Joan, Glad you are up and about again. I had "something" I wasn't really sick, but couldn't get very far from the bathroom. Left me really tired for a few days. I even put an incontinence pad on the bed for insurance.
Seems everyone has a bug of some kind. Also glad Harv is feeling better.
Bonnie, Glad you mentioned scaring off the wood peckers, I'm going to see if one will work to keep the robins out of my strawberries.
Dana, Sounds like you will have lots of berries in your yard. I've never seen passion fruit, or the flowers. Maybe Lorita will post a picture later in the summer so we can all see them.
Lorita, It is good that you did better when you went to town. Once you get the stuff taken care of for the Veterans, you can maybe just go when it feels right.
I bet your feet did get cold. I just put my bogs (actually mine are Mucks but the same thing) on no matter what in the winter. I hate having cold feet. Hope yours have warmed up by now. The little daffies are so pretty and Liam is a stout looking little fellow, hard to believe he had such a rocky start. Love the picture of Charles, good way to remember him.
You can just buy a flag pole, they come in sections and I know that Ace hardware has them here. I don't know what store you have that would be like Ace, but I'm sure someone carries them. I bet you will be sore tomorrow wrestling that pole around. I am hoping to avoid some pulled muscles by doing the exercises the PT gave me to do. When I went yesterday, he gave me some more. I know I need to do them badly by how sore I am from doing them. I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or at least I hope so.
Those wily old cows would have you feed them twice a day if they could. If they think for one minute that bawling at you will work, they will bawl every time they see you.
Now that your dogs aren't afraid of the cows, they might learn how to help you. My dogs are great friends with the calves and steers I raise,but if I ask them to chase one, they are eager to do so.
Sandy, A belated happy Anniversary. Give your high school sweet heart a big hug and kiss for his birthday.
Terromari, Hope you find someone to help fix your fence. I bet that little girl will love to be able to run around in your yard. Heck, bet you will be glad to see it again once the snow melts.
Colleen, Glad you got your snow, now I bet you wish it would warm up. I am saving some of Abby's clothes for a quilt. I made a pillow out of a pair of Don's flannel pants, and have another pair I am going to make a teddy bear with. I'm also going to make a bear out of a wool skirt of Abby's for Zane. Have some fur off of a winter hat of hers that I am going to use on it somehow. Maybe as a tail, inside ears and bottom of paws. I bet Dan's Harley shirts will make a nice quilt. Zane would love it, his Harley is parked in his sun room.
Good to see Roxy post. Hope you got that bouquet of Tulips. We haven't heard from Helen in a while, I hope she is doing ok.
Linda T, Sorry Rod is getting lost in his own house. Don was cold all the time too. Particularly after he got so thin from not eating. He lost his sense of smell and after that, he wasn't much interested in eating anything.
Bridget, I'm glad Sean will get some money for education or whatever he needs. We certainly understand depression here and what a horrible effect it can have on people. He sounds like a gentle soul I hope he can heal and find his niche in life.
Hi to Happy Bee, LJ (hope you got your car fixed) Angela, Cynthia, Jfkoc (glad Luke is better) , Barbara (enjoy your volunteering) Twink It will be perfect time of year when your puppy if ready. If I can help you out, I will be happy to do so.
Anyone I missed I'm sorry It is not intentional. Hope everyone has a great evening and that spring comes to all of us soon. Leanne If this disappears you will all hear me scream!!

Posted: Thursday, March 5, 2015 10:28 PM
Joined: 7/21/2014
Posts: 1164

Hey Dana, Welcome back. You must have been posting when I was. Nope, don't say Ay at the end of sentences, but make fun of those who do. Have lots of Canadian relatives, so get lots of laughs with that.
I'm so happy my post didn't get swallowed or whatever happens to them. Like the sock lost in the dryer. Leanne

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