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Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum
Just need to talk to my friends(16)
That is crazy! We've owned the farm for over 20 years and neither of us had ever gotten a summons for jury duty. You're right, any little thing that can cause anxiety. I called them after I'd read that if you're 70 you're not compelled to serve. Guess that's one advantage of being old. You know mother served on a jury many years ago after she retired and she enjoyed but I don't think I would.
I love The Notebook but I always cry when I see it. But, wouldn't it be wonderful if it could end like it did in the show? There should be a law that when one goes, the other one does.
It'll be 7 weeks tomorrow since I lost Charles Ray. It seems like the time is going so fast - and going so slow - at the same time. Wonder how that happens?
I also love to go to Goodwill - we did go there a lot in years past when we'd go to Tulsa. I think our nearest bigger town has one but I've never been there. Never have shopped at The Salvation Army. I've done most of my shopping on QVC and from Blair and Haband. I don't need to get any more clothes - never go anywhere except to town for groceries and feed and I usually wear jeans to that town. Now that my friend isn't close anymore probably won't be going out to lunch much either although the other friends are still there. I just don't have the desire to go anywhere. I had to make myself go to town yesterday and wouldn't have then if I hadn't had to get feed for the cattle, dogs and cats. I could very easily turn into a hermit.
I actually did see about seven people yesterday that I knew. Before I hadn't seen anyone all week except the vet when he came to hay the cattle. Before that it had been a week except for the FedEx guy.
Like I said in my post yesterday I did seem to do better than I did the last time I went to town - at least I didn't almost break down in the store or cry all the way home - but I did go to a different grocery store.
The price of meat doesn't bother me at all. I haven't eaten meat or chicken in many years. Now, I hardly ever eat fish. I think I have a couple of pieces of it in the freezer and may cook it for Phoebe, Barclee and I. I haven't even eaten tuna for a couple of years. I've been a vegetarian for many years but do eat eggs occasionally and milk products.
I got some lettuce yesterday for salads and I seem to remember that Bridget, I think, said she cuts up a whole head at one time and that way doesn't have to do that every time she makes a salad. I think I'll try that.
I've been pretty busy this morning. I fed everyone, then dried a load of laundry and paid a couple of bills. Also called one insurance company to cancel the policy. Also tried to get things organized to take to the ODVA Friday to get the VA things done. Then I'll have to go to the County Seat to take care of the property tax thing - but I guess it's better to be busy.
Good luck on your SS appointment Friday - hope things work out all right. I haven't checked but SS told me when they called they'd deposit the $255 in our bank account within seven days. Is your appointment by telephone?
The weather here is deteriorating. It's stopped sleeting but the north wind is horrible. The cattle have come out of the barn and are eating hay. It's snowing north of here and coming this way and from Amarillo. I don't think we'll get a lot. I doubt I'll be able to feed the cattle today - guess I should have last night. Even if it does snow and stops soon enough, I will, but I hate to pull them out of the barn and south of the house where they're out of the wind. I feed north of the barn and it's very windy there.
I hope you're sleeping better, Roxy. Go ahead and take some Xanax if you need it. I haven't taken anything today but don't seem to need it - been too busy, I guess.
Take care and everyone, stay warm. I think this cold front extends from NM all the way to the east coast. Will spring ever come?
Well, that was weird! I wrote a post, couldn't attach the pictures because it said they were too large. I resized them, again, then edited the post and the written portion didn't show up.
Anyway, the first picture is of three of the little calves with Susie watching them, the second is of Liam and the third is of Susie and Bella playing in the snow. In the first one you can see some of the cows at one of the hayrings.
You mentioned the paper with the seal on it. I guess that's the one you take to the Tax Assessor's office so you won't have to pay property tax. I'll be able to get ours Friday when I see the ODVA Service Officer.
I don't have a picture of Ray in his uniform on the computer and haven't figured out yet how to scan - I don't even know for sure where the picture is.
I liked all of your pictures. The one of the tractor wind spinner reminds me of Ray on his tractor. Was that a GP puppy with the goat? Did you see my post from yesterday where I talked about seeing the trailer load of goats someone had just bought at the sale? They were so cute. Ray always wanted a couple of little goats but I think there's too many coyotes around here for that. Our neighbor lost all their lambs one year and he's just a mile from us.
It's not snowing here yet. We're in a dry slot and I wish we'd stay there until all of this is over. Looks like this cold front and weather is all across the US so you'll probably get more snow, too.
Leanne, rest up and rewrite your post to let us know what's going on in Montana. The woman I write to in Missoula is in Florida now enjoying pretty, warm weather. Won't it be nice when we all can.
It's snowing to beat the band right now. We've had rain, then sleet, then more rain, freezing rain, sleet and now snow. I just came back in from feeding the cats. Most of the cows were in the barn except a dozen or so who were still eating hay. I ran the tank full of water for them and there was water in the one at the barn so didn't have to fill that one tonight. I just looked and there's still two of them out there but they'll be going in soon.
Sandy - I don't know how I missed your wedding picture and your new avatar. The picture is so good and you both look so happy. Don't you wish we could all go back to our wedding day? Hope your day went well.
Bridget - why don't you wait until I take another picture of Liam where you can tell what he looks like and isn't so dark. The sun will shine in a couple of days and I'll do that.
I think I took a nap this afternoon - the phone woke me up and it was Carol. We had a nice, long visit. Good to talk with her. I'm really glad I went to town yesterday and got some dog food for the girls. I didn't get to feed the cattle today but will tomorrow.
I didn't even go to the mailbox today and I know Ray's death certificate is there but I have the windshields covered up and I'm surely not going to drive the CW. If it's not too cold in the morning, I'll go. I may put off going to the VARO until Monday - supposed to be really nice next week.
Linda Dee - I haven't eaten much lettuce since I had diverticulitis. I googled it and it said lettuce has some fiber in it which is good for you but now I'm not sure. Have you known someone who had trouble with eating it after diverticulitis. I do know when I had cholecystitis, the doctor told me lettuce was one of the worst things to eat for that. I'm anxious to get the pendant, too. I'll have to either buy a chain for it or use one I already have.
Bridget - I failed to tell you how sorry I am that Sean is having so much trouble with Rich's dementia. He just wants to remember his dad like he's always been - it's hard for a child to see their parents fail. I know it was hard to see the decline in my parents.
Twink - the generator is covered with ice right now but we're having snow so I don't think we'll lose power. It does give me a sense of security about the weather though.
I tried to feed the birds when I went out but the feeder was frozen over and I couldn't open it so put the seed on the ground.
terromari - it is strange about the jury summons, isn't it. I'm glad to know I won't be getting another one.
Our vet just called to see if I'd gotten things done and got back inside all right. He was on the way to check a cow he thought was going to calve. He said he'd had seven today and brought three back to the clinic. They had just been born and were wet and he said they'd never have survived on the ice. He'll go home and rest a while and go back out and check all the pastures again about midnight. I sure hope ours hold off until the weather warms up.
Twink - I know how excited you must be about knowing when the new puppy will be born. Mine may be born before that. I'll call in a few days and see if she knows. I think the gestation period is about 60+ days. When you go after the puppy, the weather will be nice and warm. This is the weekend when the time changes - I dread that - always takes me a while to adjust. I think I'd rather have daylight in the mornings instead of at night.
Guess I'll go and see if I can find something for supper - not really hungry but guess I need to eat something
I'll check in later.
Bold not working - again.
Barbara, I'm glad at least some of your tomato plants survived the heat. Our neighbor has a garden and in the summer I see sheets and everything else flapping in the wind - protecting the tomatoes and other plants from the hot, Oklahoma sun.
I'm glad your husband recovered nicely from the flu - I've been trying to avoid it. There's been more than 90 people die from the flu in Oklahoma this year. Sorry about your friend - seems like when it rains, it pours, doesn't it. A boy I went to school with passed away about three weeks ago from cancer. I hadn't seen him for years and didn't know he was sick. I saw his brother yesterday and he said he was 70. Gosh, how hard to believe we've gotten this old.
I'm having a bad night so just wanted to come back and vent a little bit. I've been watching the Waltons and the first one I watched was sad. They had such a big family - always someone around when you needed them. Then, I guess I got to feeling sad for myself - snowing like crazy outside and here I am sitting here in the house by myself. I guess it's going to be like this from now on and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I don't like being alone. When Ray was here, everything was all right - we were together. I always told him that as long as we were together everything was going to be okay - we could do anything. We did so many things together and really enjoyed just being together. Kind of like the two of us against the world - now, it's just me.
I think part of it's the weather and the fact that tomorrow will be 7 weeks since I lost Ray. Next month will be extra hard. Easter comes on Ray's 83rd birthday this year. Our 44th anniversary will be next month. April was the month we always went to Eureka Springs. Spring was his favorite time of the year. I thought I was doing better - and I was. Guess I've just been sitting, thinking too much. I'll get over it - no choice, is there? If we'd have had children, maybe it would be different, but maybe not - you never know.
I'm sorry I'm so down tonight - don't mean to be and don't want to be. Just wanted to come and talk a bit to my friends. I'm okay - or will be. Maybe I need a coke.
Lorita, I'm listening. I'm so sorry this has been such a tough day. I wish it was different for you. I wish it was different for all of us.
Tomorrow is a new day. There is a chance it will feel more hopeful when you wake up. I sure hope so.
Hugs for you, Cynthia
Thanks Cynthia and jfkoc,
Thank you both for being there. I had just come back to delete my post. I don't want to bring someone else down who might be going through the same thing but feeling better. Sometimes, though, I just have to get it out of my system and down on paper.
It's stopped snowing here but the north wind is really cold. I'll be better in the morning when I can get outside and walk in the snow. I was one off in my count this evening, a calf, but I imagine he was just behind someone else or laying down in the barn somewhere. I'll take some pictures and feel better.
jfkoc - Barclee's inside but he's very quiet - can't see much and sleeps almost all the time. I might get an inside one and an outside one and then the GP - one or two more won't make a difference - the more the merrier. How's Luke doing? Sounds like he must be improving. I talk to the cats and Barclee, too, and it does help. It's just the weather and too much thinking that has led to all of this.
We didn't have any big flakes of snow - just the sleet and pellet-like snow. I like to see the big flakes fall but we hardly ever get that.
Cynthia, I'll be better when I wake up and it's not snowing - and the sun's supposed to shine tomorrow!
The sun is shining! It's beautiful outside. I put on my Bogs, coat, hats and gloves and went out to feed the cats and to see all the girls. Everyone was out in the loafing area except four. Of course two of those were the bulls - they're always the first to make it to the barn when it starts to rain or snow.
The snow is beautiful - Bridget, I took a couple of pictures of Liam and will post them later today. Also took one of the daffodils with their little droopy heads in the snow. The dogs are having a great time in the snow.
It really didn't seem too cold this morning. The temp is low but there's no wind. The ground isn't fully frozen and even the ice on the water tanks wasn't frozen too much.
I didn't go to the mailbox yesterday and I think I'll wait until she runs today and make one trip do. I'll feed later today, too.
I'm better today - just have to keep busy and not think too much.
Roxy, I haven't seen those booklets. I'm glad they're helping you. It's not easy, is it? Today is the 7th week for me without Ray. I'm finding if I try not to think about it, it's much easier but if I begin to dwell on something, it's downhill from there. Sometimes even looking at his picture will set me off.
I've decided I'll wait until Monday to go to the VARO. I know with melting the roads will be horrible tomorrow and I'll probably drive the car and it's not too good in the mud. It's supposed to be in the 60s Monday. I'll call tomorrow and see if the service officer is going to be in the office Monday
Joan, I'm so sorry you've been sick but glad you're better. Was it the flu? If so it does take some time to get over it. My friend was out of commission for almost a full month.
The dogs love the snow. I fixed the place where Susie was getting out so she's in the yard and Bella's out. I saw her a minute ago just sitting in the snow looking at the pond -probably heard a dog bark somewhere.
Thanks for the good comments about the pictures. Ray did look so happy - I'm glad I found that picture - looked kind of mischievous along with being happy. He loved to wear hats - guess it kept his head warm. He has a blue Korean War Vets cap and he had all his medals on it but for some reason took them off and they've been lost. When we get another one of the catalogs that have the little replicas of medals you can order, I think I'll order them and put them on the cap and put that with his other things from the war. I made a shadow box with his medals and a couple of other things in the sunroom. He was really proud of being a soldier.
Linda Dee - I never knew where the phrase "got your goat" came from. That's very interesting. I thought those little goats I saw yesterday were so cute. One or two little goats could be a lot of company for Sandra's little horse. There's a pasture a mile or so south of us that has a few of the little horses in it - they are so cute. Also on the road to Muskogee, there's a pasture with cattle and they have one llama. I've always thought they need another one for him to have company. I see him laying by himself a lot so I think he's lonesome - but that's just me.
I'm going to check into the prices of the Diamond grain-free vs. 4-Health vs. Taste of the Wild dog foods. If I get another inside dog and an outside dog and the GP puppy, I'll have to feed a lot of food. I think the Beneful dogfood looks a lot tastier than the TOTW because it has different shapes and colors - the TOTW are little round, brown things.
What are you having trouble with in posting your pictures? You know you need to resize them before you try to attach them. The trouble I have is finding them again. Let us know what your trouble is and we'll help. I had a lot of trouble with it when I first began trying, too - took me a couple of years to finally get it done.
I think I'll call my doctor's office and see what he thinks about the lettuce. I surely don't want diverticulitis again.
Angela - I've had several people tell me the same thing about having kids. They might live in different parts of the country or just too busy to be around much. I'll be all right. Some days are just harder than others. With the help of all of you and my animals, I'll make it. Roxy and I are just at about the same place and I think we're both having some hard days.
Need to do dishes today - you all know I have a hard time getting started on that. I got all of the laundry done except for some rugs. I have so little laundry to do now. I bet our trash man wonders what in the world happened, too. I'd have maybe 8 sacks of trash before and now only two or three.
Guess I'd better go and get another cup of tea. Hope all of you have a good day and that your weather is better and warmer today.
Just read your post - guess we were posting at the same time. So, with the passion fruit, you wait until they turn brownish before you use them? I've broken them open but they were dry inside so guess I waited too long. I did that to move the seeds around so I'd have more. I think the blooms are beautiful and so fragrant.
You said you moved to Rockwall, didn't you? I heard this morning that Dallas had about 6" of snow - all of that will probably melt today. I did hear this morning that there's more cold weather in Western Canada that they think will break loose and come down the end of next week. I hope not - I'm tired of this.
It'll take a few days for our snow to melt. Usually behind the barn (north) the snow really hangs on. The bales of hay have lots of snow on them this morning but it will probably be gone by tomorrow. I see little cat paw prints all in the snow. It's fun to watch them walk through the wet snow because they don't like to get their feet wet. Barclee's already been out in the snow this morning but didn't stay too long.
Hope it warms up a lot for you today.
I'm back, for a minute or two. Did you all look at the moon?
Most of the snow has melted except on the north side of the house and barn. I fed the girls their cubes and put creepfeed in the feeder for the babies. Before I did that I fed the cats and noticed that the flag pole had fallen down. Ray has always had a flagpole with the flag flying. After I finished, I checked and tried to put it back up, several times, but it wouldn't fit. Finally figured out that a small section had broken off so it can't be fixed without another new section - or probably a new flagpole. The man who put it up for us bought it somewhere but I don't have any idea where. Maybe I can figure out something else but it has to be that high for the flag to fly correctly. I'll work on that tomorrow.
I didn't wear my Bogs - thought it would be too muddy and it seemed pretty warm. I was out longer than I thought I would be and liked to never have gotten my feet warmed up, even with two pairs of socks on. I know my back and sides are going to be sore tomorrow. I had to get on a stepstool and raise the pole up and over the section that was still there. Probably did that four or five times, trying something new each time. Finally figured out it wouldn't work without a new piece. I think it must be about 20 ft. tall. It's aluminum and not too heavy but balancing it was hard. I'm trying to put Theragesic everywhere I think will be sore and have the heating pad on my back now. Seems like I can't do anything without pulling a muscle or getting sore. Old age, I guess.
Bridget - I took a couple of pictures of Liam this morning in the snow and also one of the daffodils. The snow has melted off the flowers now and they've raised their heads. I'll see if I got them small enough to post.
Today has been much better although I did get Ray's death certificate and that wasn't easy. I'm not going into town tomorrow - going to wait until Monday when it's supposed to be in the 60s.
Dana - that's a lot of snow for Texas but it does happen occasionally. Looks like they're really getting a lot on the east coast - and in Kentucky. Glad it's over here but it is so awfully muddy. I called and asked them to bring the liquid feed while the ground is still frozen in the morning - if it does freeze.
Thank you, Storyteller, for the encouraging words. It's good to know that my friends are here when I need them. I will take my time and things will work out but there will always be that empty place in my heart.
I'll check in later to see what's going on with everyone. Leanne, maybe your post won't disappear tonight. I hate when that happens.
Hi everyone, haven't popped in lately. Joan, so glad to hear Harv is in a happy safe place plus you know you made the right choice. Bridget, all hats off to you for showing and teaching your son's what tenacity is and how to use it. Such an enormous WOW Great Job. Lorita, the pix are beautiful, you do have a professionals eye for photography capturing the beauty of your homestead, Can't wait to see more photo's. Twink, happy puppy days are soon to be, YIPPEE (w/out the pee) (old joke). Living vicariously thru your NH winter while in sunny CA. Leanne, since you're close the Canadian border, do you often end your sentences with 'eh'? Had to try a joke! sloppy lol
Barbara and Sandymac, happy autumn to you both. Hope your winter is nothing like our eastern US friends have been experiencing.
Have either of you, or anyone else, heard from Zandra? I posted a shout out, just hoping her head's above the water and the alligator's know she's not to be messed with!
Welcome Dana, another kind voice, wanna share your best spring pie recipe? Bring it!