Hi,

I was wondering if anyone would be able to discuss their experience with Alzheimer's with me offline. If you are interesting in speaking please message me or friend me so we can chat. My mom is going through (I think) early stages, but I am also trying to get a general understanding of how I will need to support her if I am accurate. 

Thanks so much and hope to connect!

- Billy

**This post was edited by the ALZConnected Moderator on 01/07/2016.**

Hi Billy,

You can friend me if you like...and I will talk with you offline. 

I will also share with you here.

The way to know is to get her a neuropsych test.  It is a 4+ hour test, performed by a Neuropsychologist. 

I often recommend to people interested in caring for someone who may be developing dementia, to work on the relationship first.  Use the early time to lay the foundation and ground work for when things are more needed later on.  Most caregiver trouble I see, especially between children and parents, is due largely due to not having the right relationship with them.

Get to know your parent as a person...not just as your parent.  As they regress in memories, it helps to meet them there.  What are their music tastes.  What is favorite foods.  What is the true person personality?

Start doing things together, like going shopping and out to lunch.  This lays the groundwork for both them to trust you (because that takes a whole lot of adjustment for the parent), and to build confidence in you.  Be there when you say you will, or call and let them know you will be late.  Do what you say you are going to.  That builds the trust and confidence for later. 

Rather than take over, consider supporting.  As signs, step-by-step instructions, and lists to help support the parent to stay as independent as possible. 

Socializing is a big factor in keeping fit mentally...find out what she likes to do, book clubs, walks, whatever...and help make sure she can stay doing them. 

Are there things she'd like to do and hasn't ever?  Maybe do those things with her.  This will build a closeness. 

Plant seeds.  If you ever need help with this mom, just let me know.  She may never ask.  It is very hard to ask, especially our children. 

I found the Everything Alzheimer's book to be a good intro primer.  And then the book, Dancing With Dementia, by Christine Bryden and eloquent insight into what it is like to have dementia.

Videos by Dr. Allen Power on Youtube and Teepa Snow are good, good, good for how to understand and deal with things. 

I am sorry if she has this, but yes...friend me and message me, and I will be happy to talk with you. 

Is cool with me, I don't mind helping people what I can...because the bottom line is we NEED good products and services for US...and if we don't help, then people without the disease will keep deciding for us what we want and need...and that doesn't work at all for me.  That is just my stance on it...no one needs agree with me.