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Just need to talk to my friends(41)
Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 11:40 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359


 Sorry I'm a bit late in starting a new thread for the end of this month.

 Diane - I don't want to ever go through another storm like that.  It was like a tornado but it was straight winds of hurricane force for a solid hour.  Our poor trees - just makes me sick to look at them.   This morning I went out to check the girls and several were up at the MH.  I have two Asian pear trees up there that were loaded - about the size of a ping pong ball up to a baseball, almost.  They've been there for 30 years and the girls know about them and know they drop pears all the time so they get up there early to eat them.  I'm so afraid one of them will choke on one - there's just about the wrong size for them to try to eat and if they don't crush them, they could choke.   I hurried and picked up several buckets full before the cows could get those at least.  They were eating as fast as they could - probably eight of them.  I don't mind when the pears are a little riper - then I crush them with my foot and they can eat them all right but these are too hard.  I had six sacks of feed in the CW so I put all I could in the back, then a couple of buckets in the floor of the CW.  When I got home I put them in feed sacks - I'll dump them somewhere in a day or so.

Then had to put feed out for the calves.  I took some limbs out of the lot so I could get in with the CW. 

Stormy has another hot spot on his left hip this time.  I called to see if I could bring him early Monday morning at 8 and one of the girls give him the steroid shot but then decided it would be cooler this morning than Monday so got my jeans and shirt on (no makeup) and got him over there.  Part of the clinic is still out of power with no AC. The doors were open and there was a big fan in front of the door.  After I checked in there was a seat in front of the fan so I took it and Stormy laid in front of the fan until he was seen.  I don't think he's ever seen as many people or dogs as he did this morning - even a goat.  He got his shots and medicine to take and we made it home about 10:30. 

We're still out of power but there are trucks on the county line working on the poles.  Don't know if they started at this end or the other so it may still be a day or so.  The generator is working fine.   When I started to leave Susie got out and wouldn't come back in.  I drove down the driveway as fast as I could so hopefully she wouldn't follow.  When I turned on the county line and then the next road to go south I saw her coming out the gate.  So, of course, I worried about her getting too hot.  She was home when I got back and is now laying on the cool floor.    So glad I went ahead and got that done this morning.

Oh, back to the MH - there's a huge cedar tree laying  across the gate. Most of the fence is gone but they still go through the gate.   When Charles and I moved there we planted a row of  cedars on the north as a windbreak.  They're huge now.  Also two or other big trees are broken.  If Nathan has the time I may have him take care of them, too.  Don't want them to fall on the cattle.

I was worn out from bending over picking up pears and feeding the calves and going to the vets so now I'm going to rest today.    I hope all of you can rest some, too.

One of the vet's employees lives a couple of miles north of us and she said they were only out of power for a few minutes - guess their line comes in from the south like Darwins.

Yes, Darwin is a wonderful neighbor.  As busy as he is, he's always ready to help.  I didn't ask him to come about the tree - he just came - and checked on those other neighbors.

Guess I'll go for now.  I gobbled down a couple of pieces of dry toast on the way to the vets so I'm getting hungry.

Hope everyone's okay today.  I'll be back later.

Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 6:38 PM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Lorita, I'm sorry for all the extra work the storms have caused you and sorry about Stormy's new hot spot.  Has your electricity come back on yet? It's good you have the generator, but propane costs are higher. 

Our daughter in Bixby has been sending storm pics. That's not too far from Bonnie in BA. Lots of big trees down and fences destroyed. 

I have been feeling better except for being extra tired. I get absolutely drained at least twice a day.  Yesterday I mowed some in the cool of the evening, and hubby decided to run the weed eater for a bit. He shouldn't have. He's paying for it today with back pain and swollen feet. 

It's sure been quiet here today. I hope everyone is safe and well. 


Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 9:38 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359


 Gosh, everyone must be extra busy today - it's been so very quiet on the forum.  After I got back from the vets I haven't done anything.  I laid on the divan and think I went to sleep and again in the recliner.  Watching Dr. Pol now.  Stormy's in the house with me and he just heard some puppies on Dr. Pol and really reacted. 

 Everyone was really looking at the place where his hot spot is.  The hair was all wet and dirty and one man asked if he had been biten.  Another lady asked about it.  She said she thought they were all white.  I explained he has a badger face but my other one is all white.  Later she asked if the other one (Sheena) is as calm as Stormy.  He was so good - laid quietly in front of the fan which was close to the front door.  A couple of people with dogs hesitated to come and asked if it was okay.  One man sat down on the two-seater beside but asked first if he'd bite.  I don't think Stormy has ever seen that many people and dogs at one time, even at the vets.

 Dana, we're still out of power.  I mentioned I saw a repair truck when I came in but just now talked to a dispatcher and he said they think all the power should be back on tomorrow or Monday but lots of poles are still down and most have to be replaced before it can be turned back on.  Thank goodness for the generator.  It's really loud when you're outside but if it keeps things going, that's okay.

 I talked to Sarah briefly this morning.  She and Todd were looking at a car for her.  Hers has been out of commission for a while so guess they've decided to get a different one.    The Police Sgt. from OKC called and talked over 20 minutes this evening.  He is really nice and says he's really keeping an eye on LMG and will bring down the hammer if he finds something wrong.  Glad he's on our side. He said to call him anytime I need him.  He's called LMG and he hasn't returned the call but he has talked with him before.

 I'm sore from all the bending over to pick up those pears.  I have six feed sacks holding as much as I can lift.  I'm going to have to get rid of them tomorrow.  Also tomorrow morning I'll have to get up there to pick up what's left and what fell during the night.

 Dana, I think your avatar is so pretty - the passion flower.  I was out by the south fence a day or two ago and smelled something so sweet.  I looked around and there were a couple of blooms.  I think they're gorgeous and the fragrance is very strong.

 It was hot today and going to be hotter tomorrow and next week - 100 or over.  I really hope everyone's power is on by then.  I know it's hot where they don't have AC.

 I guess I'll ask Nathan to take down those two trees at the MH or at least cut them back and I think almost a quarter of the huge hackberry is broken.  I'm afraid we'll lose a lot of it.  Of course, the cows were all standing under it this evening until it cooled off enough to go graze.  I surely don't want it to fall on them.

 Well, I don't know anything except the policeman said my sister seemed much better when he saw her this morning or yesterday morning.  Sarah and Todd said the same so I guess things are status quo for now.

 Hope everyone's doing all right today - maybe Bonnie will have power soon.  I think Tulsa County is down to about 1,000 still out.  I know BA and Coweta really got hit hard.

 Sandy, hope you're doing all right and staying cool.  I'm so glad you weren't in this awful windstorm. Lucy would really have had a hard time with all the wind, thunder and lightning.   Everyone says it's the worst they've ever seen. 

 It's been a rough week so may be next week will be better.  I won't say it can't be worse because things always can be but I'm hopeful things will go smoothly for a while. 

  Sleep well everyone.

Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 10:15 PM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Lorita, thank goodness for the policeman who is giving his own time (probably) to help you feel better about your sister's safety. I was reminded today how very thankful I am for those who protect and serve our communities all throughout America. I watched the last funeral service of the five murdered Dallas officers on local tv, in its entirety. He was so young, left a little boy and a 2 yr old daughter. He had also served in the navy and did 3 tours in Afghanistan. There were about 5 to 6,000 people attending, including military and police officers from every state in the nation and Canada. 

I feel we owe them more gratitude, and I don't understand all the disrespect. It's all so sad.

But we still do have much for which to be thankful.


Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 10:15 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359

Hi again,

 I think they must have gotten our electricity back on.  The generator went off and I still have power.  It's done that in the past - when it would come back on, the generator goes off with no interruption in power. 

 I'm still holding my breath but I guess they got the 12 poles back up.  I know everyone up the road must be happy, too.  I was going to call one neighbor I know but they don't have a phone listed and the other neighbors I won't call.  Guess I could go out and see if I see lights down there.

 I think I may have seen a wolf north of the house just before dark.  The dogs were barking and I went out on the porch and think I saw something run across the road - I know it wasn't a cat.   One of the girls at the vet's office lives a couple of miles north of me and she says the wolves have gotten all of her chickens.

 That reminds me - we haven't heard anything from Twink in a long time.  Twink, if you're reading, write a post so we'll know you're okay.  We miss you.

Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2016 11:20 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

Well, that was a fizzer.

Dh has been telling me many times lately that he loves me [nothing new there lol] and that he really knows and appreciates how much I do for him. So while we were having a hug after lunch, and he said again said how much I do for him, I took a deep breath and said 'but I don't know how long I can keep doing it'.

That got through, he pulled back , looked at me and asked 'what would happen then?'

I ducked my head and said 'we'd have to find somewhere else for you to live'. “For US to live?' he asked. 'No, for you to live.' And where would you live?' I just said 'I would stay here.'

Then he really pulled away. “You can't live here on your own. All that needs to change is that I[dh] have to help you [littleme] more. You just have to tell me what to do!'

And that is where I left it. I don't know if is agnosi-watchit that Iris talks about, and he really doesn't recognise his losses. But he does often get frustrated with himself, and talks about how forgetful or clumsy he is getting. I think it is more likely that it is just fear of the change, and what it all means. If it is heart-breaking for me, just imagine how scarey and heart-breaking it must be for him.

But I have planted the seed. I see my primary doc next week, and will ask her to play the 'bad guy' and tell him that I can't manage any more. BTW I am NOT going to move into care with him, I know I would end up doing just as much for him as I do now. Why ask a nurse for help, when your wife of 48 years is there beside you?

Lorita I am so glad that you came through the storm OK. I know all the damage to trees means a lot of work to clean up, and it is almost as sad to lose a tree that you have known for 50 years, as it is to lose an animal. You have been having summer storms with strong winds , lots of damage, and lots of people losing power. Here we have been having winter storms doing the same thing. Even lost one farmer, he was out trying to clear a tree that had fallen across a public road, when another tree fell on him. So sad. They were about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Lots of houses without power for up to 3 days, generators were very popular!

I'm glad that LMG seems to have backed out of the picture, hope your policeman friend can keep him that way. With families, there is always something to be concerned about.

Blessings to all


Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 12:17 AM
Joined: 10/31/2013
Posts: 1783

Wow you've all had some weather haven't you.  We had bad winds the other day and I noticed a few big gums down on the road to town, but nothing like yours...although I think other areas copped it worse.  Your place certainly will need some clearing up, Lorita.  Aren't you lucky the vet  and your neighbour keep such a good eye on you.

It's been a rough couple of days here, and I'm ready to scream.....time to put on the joggers and get myself walking.  Yesterday morning Ron got up and got dressed while I had my shower, then I started breakfast and I heard him walk out the front door..nothing unusual there.  Finished getting breakfast and went to call him in, no answer, and I called and looked for 10 mins or so.  Neighbour heard me and she got up and was ready to get dressed and help look....I went inside to get the car keys, and there he was in the kitchen, almost finished his breakfast standing at the bench.   I made his cup of tea, and he took it out to his normal seat in the sun, with a coupl of biscuits (cookies).   Spent the day with one little thing piling on top of the other but daughter and SIL called in at dinner time, so that really helped, but when we were going to bed I said something that upset him, and he drew his fist back and threatened to "f#####g kill you".  Needless to say I did my block and slept in the spare room.  No, I don't have a halo!

Today he slept in till after 9, so I had a lovely lie in with my book.  We've just returned from a lunch in a restaurant with another daughter and her husbands family though, and that's the last time I'm doing that too.  We'd only been there 10 minutes and he wanted to leave, after not even wanting to get out of the car, and he kept getting up to leave, and the minute he finished his last mouthful said he was going.    I keep telling everyone how lucky I am that he is so easy going, but I need a break away, and I don't know how to get it.

Sorry I'm so miserable, but thank goodness for your shoulders.

Take care everyone.  I'll be back when I'm not such a misery guts    Sandra

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 12:25 AM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

Another discussion with dh, at his instigation. In gentle stages I told him that I have been investigating places [without mentioning the word HOME], mentioned the names of some he had heard about. He would still like us to be together, but we all know that is not going to happen. I reassured that I would be there to spend days with him, and that I would still be able to drive there. I insisted that it was not his fault, he said it was not mine. I shed tears, don't know if he did. But I think he is resigned to the prospect that he is going to move sometime in the future.

I was then able to distract him by bringing out his birth certificate, which I had to obtain in the last few weeks. IT contained some facts that we did not know ie that he was not born at home, but in a nursing home, that his father did not record the name of his older brother, and that the current registrar could not decipher the correct name of the street or suburb where his parents were living. So we are not the only generation that makes mistakes.


Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 12:37 AM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

S andy

Sorry that things are not doing so well at your place. Yes, it is time for a break. If your daughters are not able to come and stay with Ron for a few days, then you will have to look outside the family. And the first step is the ACAT. I seem to remember that you felt you weren't really at that stage, but I can tell you, you are now!

SO if Ron continues to be aggressive, then perhaps a phone call to your GP would get you both an emergency appointment [our clinic ALWAYS keeps a few openings every day] to get Ron on some calming meds, and start the ball rolling for  the ACAT. The clinic should also have information about homes that provide emergency respite for people like you -- at this stage, money is not the most important thing, your respite is. Often, the aged pension will cover most of the cost.

And of course, the other thing to check while you are at the GP, is for a UTI.

Fingers crossed that this outburst bas a one-off, and he goes back to being his usual placid self.

Lots of hugs from Barbara

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 3:16 AM
Joined: 10/31/2013
Posts: 1783

Thanks, Barbara,  yes I have got things in train for the ACAT.  The coordinator of our dementia support group is doing a referral for him, and I'll see her on wed to see if she's done it , if not, I'll contact myagedcare myself.     We all know when we hit the wall, and I've hit it.
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 8:06 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359


 I love to "hear" you Australian ladies talk.  There were a few words I wondered what you meant but think I figured it out.

 Barbara, I'm glad you got the seed planted in your husband's mind.  I know how hard that must have been to even broach the subject.  It would have been for me.  Maybe his GP will help.  Also maybe just mentioning it occasionally will let things soak in between talks. 

 The weather everywhere seems like Mother Nature is really upset/mad at us.  How awful about the farmer.  We have things like that happen occasionally - going out on a frozen pond to get a calf or cow and falling through and drowning - one man a few years ago was brushhogging and got off the tractor to do something and knocked the tractor into gear and the brushhog ran over him.  You just never know.

 The trees are so sad and it makes me almost cry to see them in such a bad shape.  It's happened before but in ice storms.  There are even dead limbs up really high from ice storms - they're lodged and the wind brings them down from time to time.  I just got back  from trying to beat the cattle to the pears - they were already there and had eaten them.  I saw one reach up and pull some down.  If the pears weren't so good when they make I'd have them taken out.   I put out some anaplas blocks and got a gate back up that the wind had blown down.    I keep seeing damage to other trees.  The big hackberry that I remember from when I was a little girl is so sad.  Nathan said he bet it is at least 100 years old.  It was huge when I was 6 or 7 so it probably is.  There's one down behind the barn that's older than it, much older.  Years ago I took pictures of it in all the seasons, had them enlarged and framed them and hung them by my desk.  That's also the tree we had a picture of put on our farm sign at the gate.  It loses limbs every day but it looks like it made it through the storm okay.  I've always said that whe that tree goes, so will I.

 Sandra, I bet you were beside yourself with fear when you couldn't find your husband and all the time he was eating the breakfast you'd prepared for him.  They can be really sneaky and quiet.   I know what you mean about going out to eat.  Charles and I didn't do that for the last year or two - only drive-ins.  It was just too hard.  And, when we'd go anywhere he was ready to come home in a few minutes - except to WM - he always enjoyed that. 

 Being a caregiver for a person with dementia is so very hard.  No one understands unless they've gone through it - I think that's why this forum is so wonderful and so helpful to those still caregiving.  I don't think I could have made it through my caregiving years without all of you.

 It's wonderful to have electricity!  You don't know how much you use things until you don't have them.  I was so lucky to have the generator - didn't disrupt things at all.  I just wish we had gotten it years ago.  There were a few times when we were out of power for almost two weeks, during the ice storms.  All we had in the farmhouse was heat and when we lived in the MH we didn't even have that. 

 The dogs stayed out last night - it's fairly pleasant right now but it's going to start heating up rapidly today and throughout the following week.  I have so much sympathy for people for have to work outside in this weather - and in winter weather, too. 

 I think I've stumbled onto something about my sister's finances - won't know for sure until tomorrow when a certain credit care dept. opens.  I e-mailed Scarlet to tell her and she called after I went to bed but last night I didn't take that phone into the bedroom.  She sleeps until almost noon so I'll call her after while.  We're so lucky to have the Policemen on our side in OKC, especially the Sgt.  He's ready to do something the minute he needs to and can.  So many of them have been out there so many times to check on her so they can tell when things change. 

 Guess I'd better get my day started.  I'd like to crawl back into bed and sleep some more but don't know what time Nathan may come.  He said they'd come today and get all the limbs off the fences.  Maybe by now he's figured out what to do with all the wood.  He doesn't have a huge chipper that will take the bigger limbs but maybe he's found where he can rent one.  Maybe, too, he's decided what he'll do with all the wood that can't be chipped.  I don't want to put it anywhere in the pastures and I'm surely not going to have it stacked to be burned later -  much too dangerous for that.  The towns will have places to take downed limbs but you have to live "in town" to use that.

 I'll be back later.  We've been talking about no posts from Bonnie but I think she was going to be gone during this time to Texas - that's probably why she hasn't posted.

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 1:14 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 1118

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted, just so busy with everything under the sun. Doesn't get dark here, this time of year, until 9PM so we're outside late, & by the time I cook supper, eat, then clean up the kitchen, I'm ready to fall into bed! We've doubled our garden size this year, put in several fruit trees, & it's been hot & humid, so the lawn needs mowed every time you turn around. Just crazy busy!

My brother continues to be difficult. Now he's angry that his request for a hearing, after accusing me of lots of nasty stuff, has been denied. My BIL has also been behaving badly, keeping the rest of us busy "putting out fires" - in spite of the fact that my FIL was here for 2 wks visiting. In-between all this, I've gotten serious about my job hunt, & put out a ton of resumes. (Feeling really good about one I want, just waiting to get a call.)

Stoli is now 14 months & just shy of 70  lbs. He's such a happy, playful boy! Sophie is enjoying the hot weather, spending as much time as possible on the deck, soaking up the sun. Been a busy bear year. Just last wk, one tore up one neighbor's shed to get at the trash, & another neighbor had one come through his downstairs exterior door! (Guess he'll put in a steel door now!) Actually, there have been quite a few bear "break-ins" - not much to eat in the woods yet! This won't let me go much further so will end for now. Wishing all as great a day as possible! Big hugs, Twink


Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 1:54 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736

Sandy, this is for you!
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Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 2:11 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20094

hey Sharon....what is the name of your weedeater?
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 2:11 PM
Joined: 3/14/2013
Posts: 692

lGood afternoon everyone.  Typing is finally becoming easier for me.  Guess all the rehab is paying off.  I go two afternoons a week while the caregiver is here with Rod. 

Our weather is not giving us the problems you are having in OK.  It is just hot and dry.  We are expecting triple digit temperatures.  The heat has put an end to Rod's evening walks.  Not good for either of us to be out in the heat but I particularly just cannot handle it.  We have been doing drives instead--not the exercise that he needs to stay calm but it does get him out of the house for a while and that helps our evenings some.

Rod is still losing weight.  He is eating well so I do not really understand why he is losing.  He is down to 106 pounds.  A good wind could blow him away.

Lorita, so sorry about all the damage to the farm.  I heard about the storm and thought it was in your area so got on-line to check.  I just hate all the harm to the trees.  I am glad you had the generator.   We don't think about needing it in the summer but sounds like that was a wind storm for the history books.

Barbara, glad you  have planted the seed and your hubby seems to be doing well with the idea moving.  Hopefully your doctor can help you.

Sandy,  I'm so sorry you have hit the wall.  Some respite is definitely needed.  I know you must have been in pure panic when you could not find him.

Our son was working on his truck and was let Rod be outside with him.  Suddenly he came running in the house wanting to know if Dad was in here.  No.   We both took off outside looking 'everywhere".  Chris grabbed the car keys  to check the neighborhood.  When he opened the car door there sat Rod.  He wanted to go for a ride. 

Have a good afternoon,



Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 5:16 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736

My weed=eater is a  Black /Decker   Lithium 20V.   If you get it , don't be thrifty like me the first time buy the 3 already to go refills. 

Lorita, go slow to do whatever you need to. You don't want to aggravate any sore spots. 

I went to the wedding yesterday. So sweet. I love weddings. I had gone to so many funerals lately that it was weird to see so many young people!    What was a wonderful treat was I found out that the brides grandmother was a friend of Mary's' my 100 yr old friend. WE had gone to her home a few times.  Small world.

I am currently watching golf with LO and the playoff is between a man from Korea, Si Woo Kim and a man from Austrailia, Aaron Baddely. He has a beautiful smile.  The weekends are so nice with golf for LO.  The week days are so boring for him.

I have been praying for a little 3 month old that has been having seizures  from our church. His name is Jasper. Well, he came to church today so much better and mom and dad, who are my new friends let  me hold him, through the whole service, he ate,  burped and slept. I told them to go sit far away so they would not worry about the grunt noises!   It was fun. I love new life.  My grandchildren here are young adults now, so I imagine I might get to see are great grand child in the next few years.  

It is good to hear from some of you who have been busy.   I have continued to do the spinach in the blender everyday for 2 weeks ,   {5 hand fulls} flax and chia seeds.  BP is holding firm at ll2/60.... I have to say, mentally I am feeling so much better as well.....Someone said I looked alot 'fresher'...I need all those  atta girls I can get.

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 5:23 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736

Wanted to add.  Regarding Rod and his weight loss. Seems to be normal, as it takes so much energy for the brain to do what it needs to now.  LO is probably down 45 pounds. Appetite is good but not much extra. I had tried the Ensure etc, it did not do much good on adding calories.

Remember, our job is not to heal them, but to love them through it.

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 7:20 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20094

thanks Sharon

OK Aussies what is "I have got things in train"?

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 7:20 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359

Hi everyone,

 It's been another hot one here today - but no wind to speak of!  Two or three of the tree guys are coming tomorrow very early to clean up the yard - then Nathan and others will come in a day or two and bring his bucket to get up into the trees to take out the broken limbs.  It looks so bad out in the yard and where the trees are broken.  Mother Nature surely didn't  control her fury that day.   We still have electricity so that's good.

 Twink - so good to hear from you.  It sounds like you've been really busy this summer. Do you have a lot of produce to freeze and/or can?  Stoli and Stormy are about the same size.   Stormy's 16 months old and weighs about 72 1/2 lbs.   He is so sweet and was so well-behaved at the vet's yesterday. He's a bit taller than Sheena  but I think she may weigh more.  I'm told he'll start putting on weight in a couple of months - she did.   All three of them are spoiled - I've been letting them stay inside when it's so hot and I don't see the problem with that.

 Do you think we'll ever get our sibling things settled?  I had gotten to the point I wasn't thinking about it all the time and now things have broken loose again and it's all back.  If something turns up the police are ready to step in so that makes me feel better and the fact that she'll let Todd and Sarah in now to check if needed.

 Sharon, how sweet that you got to hold the baby and that he's doing better.  I know that was a treat for you - and for him, too.  Happy you enjoyed the wedding.

Charles lost weight, too.  He ate good but just couldn't hold his weight.  Guess that's just part of it all.

Linda - glad your hand is getting better.  I know that's making things easier for you.

 Glad you all missed the awful wind - just saw something on TV that it was 90 mph in Tulsa.  The heat is going to be awful this week - triple digits here, too, and humid.  It's good you're not getting out in the heat - it creeps up on you.  Maybe the car rides will suffice for now. 

I'm so sore today - from bending over picking up pears yesterday.  Still didn't get rid of them today -  maybe in the morning when I take down the trash - if I do.  Scarlet's birthday is the 20th so have to get a card in the mail for her.  She mentioned today that when she was little she wanted some tinkertoys but didn't get them.  I sent her some money and told her I was sorry but I didn't have any tinkertoys to send.  Maybe she'll find something else she'll like. She's 20 years younger than I and Sarah is 29 years younger.  They still seem  like they should be really young.

I'm anxious to see what I can find out from the credit card company in the morning.  I know she hasn't been using it so who's left?

Just saw all the girls up in the pasture so they're all right and I won't have to go out into the pastures this evening.  I'll get really early in the morning and get the trash down and dump the pears and try to get my things done before they get here.  Probably will be noisy around here tomorrow so the dogs will stay in.  Don't want them out running around.

Everyone, have a good night and sleep well. 

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 7:29 PM
Joined: 3/6/2013
Posts: 747

Hi all, I've been trying to post but keep deleting what I've written.  My emotions are all over the place and I've cried buckets of tears. I've been reading and want you all to know I've been praying for you. Still going to physical therapy twice a week for my back.  Think of you often, take care in all this heat.


Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 8:14 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

for jfkoc

'to get things in train' is really just a shorthand way of saying 'I've got this project started, and now all I have to do is follow through' ... we Aussies are notorious for finding ways to save time and energy, hence the shorthand.

DH has gone off to daycare this morning. But yesterday evening we spent quite a lot of time discussing the future. He is now convinced that it is my health that is the problem, and he is willing to do anything that will help me, including moving into care. He is still trying to help as much as he can, setting and clearing the table, making me cups of tea, and so on. I shed more tears yesterday that I have done for years, and was feeling absolutely awful. Then I recognised what I was feeling --- guilt, so that has started even before he is placed. Guess that I will have to live with that feeling from now on.

Back to see my oral surgeon today. I still get ulcers on the site of the scar from the biopsy he did 18 months ago, but don't think there is still a serious problem. If only I could get rid of the oral thrush, which probably started the whole situation. I've had the thrush for at least 18 months, and nothing medical or natural will shift it. But it doesn't really worry me, so I think I will just live with it.

Great to hear from Twink again. Fancy living where it doesn't get dark until 9.30! At the moment it's dark by 5.30 here.

Hugs and blessings to all. Barbara

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 8:24 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20094

Lorita...I had thousands of dollars on my credit card that someone else put on. Just tell them that you (as your sister) did not make the purchases.

Well, maybe you do not want to do this but it could resolve the POA guardian question. 

BTW, my legal pal is back and says that surely relatives were notified about a guardianship hearing. Remember that when we all went to court the attorney for your sister said that LMG did not want to pursue POA. She said you can look up the info using your sisters name.

Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 10:17 PM
Joined: 9/3/2015
Posts: 4

I am brand new to this board. I have not had time to sit down and introduce myself, but not knowing the meaning of ACAT prompted this reply. Thank you all for being there for people lie me. I am a caregiver for my husband.


Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2016 10:28 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

Hi myssbobbi, and welcome to our forum. This one in particular is a very chatty one, where we share information about every aspect of our lives, so you will learn a lot about farming and ranching and all sorts of other things if you keep reading.

as for the ACAT; both Sandymac and I [Barbara] live in Australia, and the ACAT is a system put in place by our Federal government. They will subsidise the cost of residential Nursing Home Care, but only if the resident has been assessed by their staff as being so disabled that they need specialised nursing care. The document that comes is many pages long, and is called the ACAT.

My husband Graham, was given his ACAT assessment in August last year, and I am now moving towards placing him in a NH. Sandy's husband has not yet had an ACAT, but from what she has told us, he will get a positive assessment without any trouble.

Hope this explains another set of letters. Do write to us, tell us about your journey with Alzheimers, and share your problems and victories.

Again welcome. Barbara 

Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 1:58 AM
Joined: 10/31/2013
Posts: 1783

And. ACAT stands for Aged Care Assessment Team.   Doesn't matter where you live bureaucracy takes over
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 6:56 AM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322

Well,  saw the surgeon, and he definitely wants to cut more out of the side of my tongue. I have negotiated a delay of 6 months to get dh safely placed. No cancer yet but not unlikely if left untreated.

Dh has just repeated the same conversation as last night, why do you want a holiday without me? I have a feeling we are going to have this conversation every night from now on. He can't remember the answer, but he still remembers the question. And the guilt gets stirred up every time.

Please forgive an aussie expression ...... alzheimers is bloody awful!


Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 7:40 AM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 1118

Hey y'all! Thought I'd pop back in, quick before work. Barbara, So sorry for all that's going on! I hope placement of your LO goes as smoothly as possible, & as for your mouth / tongue: having gone through extensive oral surgeries myself, I really feel for you, & hope all can be resolved! Yes, we have long days now, but by mid winter it's dark by 4:30 PM, so we enjoy all the daylight while it's here!

Lorita, We're hoping to freeze & can a lot this year! Just starting to get a few green peppers, & the corn is only 8 inches tall, so we've a way to go before harvest time. Hope Stormy's feeling better after his visit to the vet. Stoli's been chewing his tail raw, where the gnats have been biting it, so we're constantly tending that lately. (It is clearing up now.) So sorry your sibling drama has flared up again! I agree that if there had been a guardian appointed, the family would know; as a rule, any & all interested parties (IE. next of kin) have to be notified prior to an appointment hearing, & given the chance to attend & speak their piece. As far as LMG not wanting to be POA: until he actually files signed, notarized paperwork refusing to continue as POA, he is still 100% responsible in the eyes of the law, & could possibly be seen as neglectful if he's not correctly and/or fully performing his duties. Hope your situation can get straightened out soon! Working on mine, but will never salvage any sort of relationship with my brother, & honestly, the way he is, it's no loss to me. Gotta get to work - wishing all as great a day as possible! Big hugs, Twink

Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 10:20 AM
Joined: 3/14/2013
Posts: 692

Good morning Friends,

Welcome Bobbi, and yes this is a chatty thread.  We are more into one another's lives than on most of the threads of this forum. 

Rod is up early this morning so my quiet time is cut short.  Although right now he is just sitting and will probably (I hope_) take a nap.  Last night was crazy.  He had a yardstick and was measuring everything and mumbling to himself.   I don't know what he was trying to figure out.  Ever little bit he would come and explain to me what he was doing.  The only problem was I could not understand a word he was saying. 

It is already hot here this morning.  I am glad I do not have to work outside any today and feel for  those that do.

Lorita, the saga with your sister seems to be unending.  Your sister can revoke a POA any time but it must be in writing and filed with the court.  But it does not sound like that is the problem.  That would be too easy for this situation. 

Hope you all stay cool.


I must get a card in the mail for my oldest granddaughter.  It is hard to believe that she is 9 years old and going into 4th grade.  Seems like yesterday she was just a baby. 

Jo C.
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 11:12 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11987

LittleMe, I am so sorry for all that is happening, and then to have a recurrent/chonic thrush infection on top if it all is not make for a smooth time of all that you are facing.  Have you had a second opinion on this?

There is a medical article that is very comprehensive regarding recurrent or chronic thrush and thought you may find it interesting or perhaps even helpful; who knew there was so much to be taken into consideration that a practitioner may have overlooked.  Here is the link:   

I am so hoping that this can be treated without any further surgery.  I can only imagine what a heartbreaking time this is for you and wish it were not so.

Sending a big hug your way to the other side and "down under."


Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 12:02 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 13359

Hi everyone,

 Two men got here a little after 7 this morning to clear away the debris (limbs) in the yard so I could at least get around.  I had to take the trash out the front door this morning.  I think they took at least two loads, cut up, down to the place where there's always been a limb pile. We can't burn it because it's under the electric lines and next to the road.  I don't mind limbs being there and we don't dump any other kind of trash.  They've left but said they'd be back in the morning.  Nathan won't be able to get a bucket until Friday to get the big limbs out of the trees - everyone's renting everything.  I thought he owned a bucket but evidently not.  Anyway it looks ten times better.  Dogs are in the house but I took Stormy out to see Don, the guy who really took to him the other day when he and Nathan came.   

 Judith - I got in touch with the credit card company this morning.  The card was cancelled by the company the end of this past December.  She hadn't paid anything on an outstanding bill since 2011.  So, there's been no activity on it - couldn't be used and he hasn't opened another card with that company. Wonder if he knows he's carrying around a unusable credit card.  This makes me feel somewhat better knowing that he hasn't charged a lot on it.

 I thought my sister's lawyer said LMG wasn't interested in becoming guardian but would be POA instead.  Maybe I misunderstood.    He called Sarah and Todd yesterday and said it was very important that he come over and talk to them yesterday afternoon.  He never showed up so we don't know what that was about.  I think he's supposed to be out of town this week or next.  He did text Sarah after 11:30 last night with a bunch of stuff - he said he checked with her (my sister) and groceries had not been delivered.

 So, this morning, I called Clickshop.  I've sort of made friends with the man who has delivered groceries to her several times.  He called me back and said he had a call from a guy last week saying he looking out for an old lady who didn't have any relatives or anyone.  Jeremiah told him how to order - the whole nine yards - but he didn't order.  They've been trying to contact him since then with no reply.  He told he he'd "blow him up" with e-mails, phone calls, etc. and get in touch with him somehow and he'd call me back.  So, we know one thing for sure - he's a liar. Jeremiah remembered both my sister and I so he seems to have an interest in contacting him.

 I don't think she could dissolve the POA because she's not considered competent - is that right?

 Barbara, so sorry you have to have more surgery on your tongue but hopefully by that time you'll have your husband settled and won't have to worry about him while you're hospitalized and recovering.  Seems like there's always something, doesn't it?

 Twink - I know it's much cooler up there so you can enjoy being outside longer.  It's way too hot to even be outside here.  I felt sorry for those guys this morning working on the tree debris.  I told him if they got hot to be sure to come in and cool off.  They said they'd be careful and had plenty of ice water with them.  I'm glad they decided to leave at 11 - our hottest time is between 11 and 4 and they seemed okay when they left. Each day this week is supposed to be hotter than the last.  I'm ready for cold weather!

 Glad you're beginning to get some produce from your garden.  While I was growing up we always had a huge garden with much canning and freezing.  After Charles and I got married we kept up the tradition.  It's a  lot of hard work but so gratifying and the food is so much better straight out of the garden. 

 Good luck on your job hunt.  So, you're still working part time at the same place until you find another one?

 It does sound like a never-ending saga with my sister.  I know the time will come again when they're able to get her hospitalized.  From there I don't know where it'll go if LMG is still involved.  I feel like I could wring his neck for interfering in the first place - guess that wouldn't be a good thing to do though.  Things will work out - one way or another.

  Linda - Charles used to sleep until about 10:30 and that was my "me" time.  Now all the time is "me" time, I guess.    Sounds like your husband was really busy doing something that he thought needed to be done.  It's frustrating to us when we can't understand what they're talking about -  just imagine how it is to them.  I always pretended I knew what Charles was talking about, even when I didn't - no use to frustrate them more.

 Stay in and stay cool.  That big ole high pressure  is centered right over Oklahoma and I know it's affecting your area just as much.  This is the worst time of our summers when the highs are right over us.  Thank goodness for the rain last week  - even if we did get that awful windstorm.

 When I took down the trash, I also took the green pears and drove about a mile up the county line to the next section and dumped them where they wouldn't be in the way.  There were eight power poles broken in that one mile. They had been replaced but the remnants were still there.  Bless those poor electricians working in this awful heat. I've also seen them from other states cutting through ice-covered limbs to get our power back on.   The men this morning said it was like that everywhere.  I got the card mailed to Scarlet so she'll have her card by her birthday, hopefully.  The cows were already at the MH and I didn't see one pear on the ground and I was up there by 6:15 - saw the sun coming up as I drove up there.  I think they may be in the barn now - when the men got here they were already on the other side of the pond coming this way. 

 Bobbi - welcome to our forum.  I'm so glad you found us.  There's much help on the forum for all of us.  Ask anything you want - someone has the answer because they've dealt with it.   Someone referred once to this thread as sort of a "party line".  We've become close because we've all been dealing with dementia - many of us have lost our loved ones but still continue to use this forum and thread as a support group.  At least I know I do.  In a way our way our lives are sort of intertwined because we've been together in this for years.  No place could you find a better place to be and a better support group.  Again, welcome.

 Had a nice, long visit with Scarlet last night.  She's doing all right but waiting for another MRI to be scheduled.  She has to be sedated and she's really dreading that. 

 Sarah seems okay this morning and is going to stay inside except for letting the dogs in and out. 

Sandy, hope you and Lucy are okay and staying cool - but maybe it's not so hot up there - hope not.  Talk with you soon.

Everyone stay cool today - I'll be back later.



Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 1:49 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20094

Lorita...I may have it all wrong. Guardianship does sound like why we went to court.
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 7:53 PM
Joined: 11/3/2012
Posts: 2263

Hi everyone.  Finally checking in.  I'm sorry about the loss of trees, and the mess the wind left in its path.  It's sad to lose such big, old trees.  We are dealing with high fire watches here.  The State has two large fires still burning.  I think they are both partially contained, which is good.  The rains are back, but so far, we haven't seen any.

Lorita, I hope things with your sister and LMG come back to the courts soon, and he gets booted out.  At least the police seem to be on your side and checking on your sister.  I hope things calm down soon.

Twink, good you are so busy.  I hope you get the job you want.  Working where you feel valued means a lot.  

Sandra, I'm sorry for you that you are having struggles with  dh.  Good you are moving toward the testing and more care options.  Please be careful and stay safe.

Barbara, you are so patient in discussions with your husband.  I hope you decide on a home and get him moved and settled.  I felt the guilt until I saw how content Harv was at the home.  Good luck.  Take care of your tongue problem as soon as possible. 

Linda T.  Glad you checked in.  I hope your hand is feeling stronger every week.

Welcome Bobbi.  If you like to chat, this is a great thread for that.  We all share our lives and daily ups and downs. 

Have a good night all.  I am going to have Sofiya over night tomorrow.  She is in a basketball clinic this week.  It will be fun.  She's easy to have around, and is good company.  I'll enjoy having her.

I'll check in tomorrow.  Joan

Posted: Monday, July 18, 2016 8:39 PM
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 1322


thanks so much for the article. I haven't started to read it yet, but I certainly will. I am a retired biologist, and thought I knew all there was to know about yeast fungus, as a single-celled organism sitting on top of the surface of my tongue, until they told me it had actually invaded the tissues of my tongue. I have only just discovered that the particular thrush fungus can in fact develop a thread form which will invade. So I learn more all the time -- it never stops.

I have had the spot inspected by my primary doctor [here we call them GP.. general practitioner], also another oral surgeon while mine was away. My surgeon compares the risk to having a positive pap smear .. that has a 1 in 300 chance of becoming cancerous. He says my problem has a 1 in 100 chance of becoming cancerous, which is why he is concerned. If he is correct, I will certainly have the surgery.

So thanks for the reference. I will 'read, mark and inwardly digest' as someone famous once said, but I can't remember who!


Posted: Tuesday, July 19, 2016 7:00 AM
Joined: 9/11/2013
Posts: 1085

Good morning.

Welcome to the friends forum, Bobbi. Yes, this is a chatty group! 

Linda T,  so glad your hand is getting better. Happy birthday to your granddaughter!

Lorita, now it's been proven that LMG is a liar, so all eyes are on him. I sure hope this is the last of the windstorms in your area.  

Oh, Barbara,  I'm so sorry that you have to have more cut from your tongue. I didn't know that about thrush. Yes, we do learn from each other. I hope that once you find placement for Graham, it goes smoothly. It's hard for them to comprehend or understand our needs and problems. 

Twink, you're busy, busy as usual! I have never canned any food, but used to watch my mother can the pears from the tree in the backyard, and tomatoes every year. She also made bread and butter pickles, which we enjoyed all winter.

Joan, enjoy the time with Sofiya. Kids are a lot of fun.

I have an appt with the gastrointestinal dr tomorrow. My dr has been after me to get another colonoscopy and the endoscopy. I have had so may colonoscopies  that I just dread them. I want to ask about the new test, I think called Cologard, that checks the DNA in the sample for cancer. 

We are having our patio's garden wall redone on Monday. So, I have to cut down all the perrienials that border the patio as they'll get trampled on anyway. The stacked pavers are coming out and will be replaced with 5 tons of boulders so there will not be any movement to compromise the surface of the patio. One corner has dropped one foot so it's time to get it fixed. 

We had the first bathroom accident last week. When we were leaving to meet Dick's cousins for lunch last Friday,  he wanted to use the bathroom before we left, didn't lift the seat and peed over everything. Ugh. So got chlorox wipes out to quickly wipe up everything and washed down everything when we got home. I know he can't see well as this disease has destroyed part of his vision. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the only incident but in my heart I know it won't. 

Hi to Judith, Sandra, Jo C, Sharon, and anyone I missed.





Posted: Tuesday, July 19, 2016 8:13 AM
Joined: 8/19/2012
Posts: 2333

Good morning everyone!  Here in Jersey we have had hard rain storms the last two days.   Weather is not as predictable as it was when we were children. Just stopping in to say hello to all and that is the on as predictable as it was when we were children. Just stopping in to say hello to you all.    My husband continues to be in stage seven at the VA nursing home. He always smiles when he sees me. But I know he does not know who I am. However he smiles get me through the day. I am there in 3 to 4 times a week.  The rest of the time I continue to pack the house that we have had for 32 years. My daughter is now expecting her third little girl around August 10. We will welcome her with open arms,  and she told me yesterday upon leaving the hospital with the baby she wants to go straight to the nursing home for her dad to hold his new granddaughter. I remember when I had my last child 25 years ago my parents were in their 80s and we're not able to come to the hospital. When I left the hospital if you have any C's  section I went straight to their home so they could hold the baby. When my daughter said this to me I knew then that she had learned from that experience how important that is. I wish you all a beautiful day and I hope to stop in more often now that I have  an iPad that I am able to see better. My best to you all Bridget 
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