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Where to start?
Posted: Friday, August 26, 2016 11:10 AM
Joined: 8/26/2016
Posts: 1

I am lost on how to handle my mother who we believe has dementia. It started as short term memory lost last year and her health spiraled since then. My sister and I check alz.org and found the "10 Early Signs and Symptoms of Alzheimer's" and we checked them all.

My mother does not want to listen to me or my sister. We have spent so much resources and we finally decided to get help from alz.org. She is with me in FL now and just the uttering the word "dementia" to her will make her very angry and wants to go back to my sister in VT. She already abandoned her house in NJ because she is afraid to be alone. She just turned 68 last July.

She wants me to find her a neurologist, however, I am at the point of lying and get an appointment for her to see a Geriatrician. She also does not believe Geriatricians. She also does not have medical insurance, maybe medicare.

Being new to this, me and my siblings were stumped and lost on how to start. Please advise.

I am also waiting for the hotline return call.

Thank you

Kenneth Hancock
Posted: Saturday, August 27, 2016 4:02 AM
Joined: 8/24/2016
Posts: 5

Get a good Neurologist with experience treating Altzheimer's disease. Grab your hat, and get ready for a wild ride. God bless you.
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Saturday, August 27, 2016 9:29 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4463

 Not sure where you are in Fl but there are some good Universities out that way that deal with dementia.


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Saturday, August 27, 2016 9:35 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4463

I would tell her you are going to the doctor to treat symptoms that appear to be dementia but most likely they are not. With the help of the doctor they may be able to be reversed. Just to get her there and wanting her to improve. Some meds do help if she should have it but does not change the end date.


Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, August 27, 2016 1:20 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

And, in addition, Michael's last post happens to be true. There are situations  which cause dementia like symptoms and are reversible. These are picked up by an extensive series of blood tests and a brain scan.

You need to find a place , usually a large teaching hospital or university setting with a dementia department.  And since she says she wants to see a Neurologist that will be.

Finding the type or types of dementia present is so important in providing that proper meds, techniques that work best and understanding the process the person is going through.

Posted: Thursday, September 8, 2016 2:02 PM
Joined: 9/8/2016
Posts: 45

Did you find what you have? I really hope that it ain't anything to worry about!
Eddie Charette
Posted: Thursday, September 15, 2016 11:32 PM
Joined: 9/10/2016
Posts: 1

Dementia is something which cannot be cured but few simple measures would ensure easier days of dementia. Some inital stages of Dementia can be treated though mostly it cannot be reversed. Palliative care is the best we can gift them to improve the quality of life. Help them manage daily life and be independent, get medicines for improving mental function, mood or behaviour and get the right support and counseling. With assisted living services like Prestige Care , Bridgewood (http://prestigecare.com/assisted_services.php) there are many memory exercise programmes to improve the mental functioning and cognitive decision making. Get them involved in games, puzzles and all kinds of mind exercise. Best wishes.
Iris L.
Posted: Friday, September 16, 2016 12:00 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18519

Hello Eddie Charette.  Can you tell us more about yourself?  Can you tell us why you specifically mentioned that particular assisted living facility?

Iris L.

Posted: Monday, September 19, 2016 12:27 AM
Joined: 7/24/2015
Posts: 3020

For what it worth, people go all kinds of doctors for dementia care.  As each person find a doctor they like, they sure only this kind of doctor will do.  My understanding of this is, each doctor is human and different.  Some geriatritions good at what they do, some suck...some neurologists good, some suck, some GPs are good, some suck.  The trick is finding a "good one"...in any related field that can understand. 

My personal experience in the medical industry, is the more specialized a doctor is...the less bedside manner they likely have...and the greater jerks they can be. 

If you mom want and agree a neurologist...why would you no just simply respect her wishes that?  After all, she might know something you don't.  Having dementia doesn't suddenly render us idiots.  Plus, lying is never a good practice IF you ever want her trust you.  Lying always implies you think the person dumb enough believe you.  And while yes, as dementia progresses, we can become increasingly gullible...but really, do you really want take advantage of that gullibility? 

We have a high need toddler at home, and while we could possibly get her do some things by lying her...why would we?  It might take longer convince her using truth, or logic, or reason...but in the end, we get the desired outcome. 

I strongly suggest youtubing Teepa Snow...and Dr. Allen Power for alternative methods work with us.  I have yet hear a person with dementia no approve them.


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