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LGBT Community and Allies
Unexpected Anger, Help..
More so than missing her, I seem to be going though a little heartache, but the anger at the unfairness of this disease really surprises me. I try to focus on what she may be going through. She's not called or texted much in the last few weeks. It's just there...maybe for good.
Anyhow, how do I resolve my anger at the injustice of this disease? I've gone to our local Alzheimer's Support Group and have the 24/7 line to call. I need to order The 36 Hour Day as well.
Cat Lover, I'm not sure The 36 Hour Day is what you are looking for. It's a great reference book, but not meant to read cover to cover. Perhaps I'm Still Alice, by Lisa Genova would work better to understand what she's going through. Ask your librarian to get you a copy.
And I don't know how far your friend's disease has progressed, but I think it's up to you to initiate contact.
Do also check out the Younger Onset section of the Message Boards
I'm having a horrible time with how to go about this relationship. There are many other factors why I should just let things be and not try and be anything other than friends with this girl. I don't want to initiate anything further. She comes in to where I work and says hi. This is going to be enough for me. Guilt..? Absolutely I feel awful.
I've tried other avenues of support. The pamphlets I received are not geared to those with EO. I do, however, have a wonderful support group here in town once a month. I will continue to attend for now.
Thanks again Mimi for your response. =)
Yes...very little is geared for either Young Onset (=younger than 65) or Early Onset (=early in disease process)....seems everything geared for older, late stage, end stage folks.
Might I suggest the book, Dancing With Dementia by Christine Bryden? It might even make a lovely gift for her. It written by a lady who was dx'd dementia and she write about the experience of it so wonderfully that it almost make you feel good have it. But, she also met and married someone After she was diagnosed. You might really like the book.
Cat_lover - how are you doing? it seems to me people in general are so afraid of the illness they rarely reach out to someone.
Is the woman alone in life? I think befriending her is a wonderful idea, and knowing the illness is so unpredictable you might want to keep your feet on the ground as you get to know each other and what she might need short term.
If things are meant to grow further they will start to unfold in that direction.
somebody cared. really beautiful.
Mimi, I am in wholehearted agreement about the 36 Hour Day. My Barbara's doctor advised me to get it right after her initial diagnosis of early stage dementia, and it was a soul crusher !
Half way through it I decided to stop. Thank goodness I got it from the library. Perhaps one day in the future I may want to revisit it, but as an first encounter, it is an incredibly depressive read.
Mimi and Chrisp, you may have both given me the answer to something I have been thinking about lately. Why are doctors so discouraging to newly diagnosed early stage patients? If the doctor's concept of early stage is only what is written about in The 36 Hour Day, then they have a skewed view and are unwittingly giving poor advice. I am not 100% satisfied with this book, but I agree, Still Alice is a better choice to read than The 36 Hour Day for newcomers.
Blue Skies, I don't think you'll regret owning it, since it is a good resource, but for me as a newbie caregiver, it was just too over the top. Here I was with a wife just diagnosed with very early stage dementia, and I'm reading this book filled with worst case scenarios. In addition, it seems to me that the authors take a lot for granted in terms of the availability of friends and family, and even financial resources that the reader will have.
And as for making a purchase you maybe shouldn't have - well, who doesn't do that ?