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Just need to talk to my friends (63)
Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:53 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069


 Well, July is half gone and we have a huge, hot high settling down over the southern plains.  This is the part of summer that is so bad.  They say it will be here all next week and into the next.  Nothing we can do about it except try to stay cool, I guess.

Just got in from doing my outside chores.  Billy was ready for his bottle.  I have he and his mom in the lot today so they can be in the shade and still get any breeze there might be (don't think there will be a lot).  If they stay out of the lot Billy goes way back in the carport and he doesn't get any breeze.  I put 100 lbs. of feed in the creepfeeder for the little ones out in the pasture and when I went back by the pond to check the girls I saw three of them coming across the end of the pond, going to the creepfeeder.  They'll all be in the barn within the hour.

 I guess I'll go into town early in the morning to get feed and some groceries.  I want to be at the feedstore when it opens at 7:30, get the feed and a few groceries.  I should be home by 9 a.m.  Also need to order a few things from WM today.

 I imagine it will be another quiet day here and that's all right.  Surfergirl, I don't know if there's a real life after Alz. or not.  So far I haven't found it.  Just seems that I exist and that's about it.  I do the same things day after day and there's really nothing to look forward to.  Maybe it will get better and maybe it won't - I don't know.  I'm happy for those who have found something in their lives and can be happy and look forward to the next day.  I guess I exist for the animals - someone has to care for them and I'm lucky that I do enjoy that.  Our neighbor who has never married once told Charles and I that having his little dog is what makes him get up in the mornings.  I guess that's me, too.  He's only about 60 and still working.  He's the brother of my really good friend I lost last summer.

 Boy, I sound like I'm down in a deep hole, don't I.  Really not - I guess it's just that I'm remembering 30 months ago right now.

 I mentioned I watched a good movie yesterday.  There was about 10 or 15 minute of it left and Carol called so really didn't get to hear the end of it too well so I'm watching a little of it again.  Tennis comes on at 8 so will have to juggle the last 30  minutes of it.

 Enjoy your Sunday.

Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 9:50 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 8792

Good morning Lorita and everyone, gosh a new thread . . . I am trying to remember when this special ongoing thread first began, but cannot recall.  It has been a very long time.

Good idea to get all the heavy stuff done in town early in the morning before the real heat and mugginess hits.  It is going to be in the 90's and very humid here today.  My least liked weather.  We could learn from your dogs, Lorita, lie back, sprawl,  put our bellies in the air and cool off.  What a sight that would be!  But then I'd never get off the floor again.

Billy sounds as though he has you pegged and knows how to go about getting his own tummy filling business taken care of.  So cute, that big baby of yours.

You know Lorita, I do think of you and Charles.  So much, and with all you experienced over such a long time.   He was certainly a sweetie and sure did love his, "Dixie Chick."  (Inside humor.)

My neighbor down the street called last night.  She is in her 80's has a husband older than she is who has dementia.  Sweet man, very gentle and dear all of his life, then this.  Well; for some reason, the wife booked a "romantic" cruise (her word) on a large ship.  She booked a larger room and planned and planned.  She said she played music in the house to get her husband, "used to it."

 He is already delusional and talks to the strange man in the mirrors at home and sometimes is fearful and angry at the mirror man.    So you can imagine all the planning for a cruise and all the work that goes into such a venture even for just the two of them.  You KNOW where this is going.

 She said they got onboard the ship and got to their stateroom which again she said was planned by her to be, "romantic."  There was a mirror in the room, and he saw his reflection and became severely agitated shouting that the man was going to try and kill him.  He kept yelling that he wanted to go home.   The poor man was more and more undone and was unable to be refocused nor controlled.  She had to get help and they had to disembark and return home.  Thank goodness this occurred before they were on the high seas.  I can't even imagine what that would have been like.

What a stupendously sad thing and really bad idea for a man who was already delusion driven and not able to cope well or process well.  Imagine how threatening that ship must have seen and been to him.  The configuration of the monstrously huge ship, all the people, the noise, turmoil, etc.   How frightened he must have been and what a disappointment to her.  

About a week or two later, he had an abrupt onset of new behavior demanding to, "go home," and got outside the front door onto the sidewalk shouting and yelling he wanted to go home and was cursing which he never did in his pre-dementia state.   Neighbors who heard had to assist and get him refocused.  Wife took him inside and fed him ice cream and other treats which eventually calmed him.

I had already sent her "Understanding The Dementia Experience," by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller, and other writings not so long ago, and have spoken with her when she calls, but it does not seem to compute.  There are many unrealistic expectations.   It is as for everyone, a heartfelt tragedy.

Has anyone heard lately how Sandy is doing and whether she is going to continue her plan to move into the new place she was going to move to before her husband passed?

Boy, it IS getting muggy, I can feel it.  Guess it is time to turn on the air conditioning, we had it off overnight, but I did not sleep as well; however, it did save some money on the electric bill.   Sigh.   Guess I shall have to eat some more Rainier Cherries, they are cooling.  (Any excuse to have them.)  The batch we got this week are so sweet, juicy plump, and almost taste like peaches.   Love the summer fruits.   

Are you keeping your long hair in a pony tail in this heat, Lorita?  I just had mine cut this week and it is shorter than usual,  it hits the top of the nape of the neck and the stylist did a great job of "texturizing" the top, so it blows dry really nicely.  Let's see how long that lasts.  I have to get it cut every four weeks as it grows so fast. 

Good wishes to everyone for a good Sunday, and consider yourselves hugged,


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 11:11 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 14754

 I don't know if there's a real life after Alz. or not.  So far I haven't found it.  

Our lives as caregivers takes a toll. It changes our lives then all of a sudden our loved one is gone. I lost my husband, I lost my job. I was in pain, could not focus and was not interested in anything. Add to this physical exhaustion. 

How long will it take to find "real life". I know that my life will forever have a whole in it. I know I will forever look back but I hope I find that looking forward becomes my focus.

I believe that change does not come to us. We must create it. We must take the steps outside our framework. 

Perhaps the first step is to want something to be different. Then the next is stepping forward out of our comfort zone. It may take  steps in different directions before we begin to see ourselves differently.

My first step into a different world involved doing something I thought I would like caught hold. The fact that I was with people who knew nothing about me worked well.

Unfortunately, like Lorita, I did suffer a physical setback for close to a year. But I am back on track with pushing myself. The steps backwards are less frequent. is a baby step for you based upon what you have been posting. Go find the scissors if they are still in their hiding place and cut off your hair. Seriously, I have two friends who have 2.5 inch hair and they cut it themselves. They look terrific!!! Now if you do this please take  before and after pics or at least a pic at what you cut off. 

My next step is to buy a car that allows me to take a road trip by myself. That trip may only be for the day but I am going to do it.

I would love to hear others thoughts on moving forward.

Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 12:14 PM
Joined: 9/21/2016
Posts: 195

Hey Lorita, if you decide to cut your hair like Judith suggests, please post a before and after picture of yourself.  Want to see if my picture in my mind of you is a hard working Annie Oakley. lol.. My daughter promised me she would show me how to post pictures but it hasn't happened yet. If I ever find out how, I will post some pictures.

Stay cool today.



Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 12:24 PM
Joined: 12/14/2011
Posts: 249

Good morning ladies!!!

I  wrote along post again and deleted it. I am not doing too well coping with the new Gerry  and though I know you all understand and care, I tend to  put on a happy face and hide my true  feeling when things are tough.   I plan to see Gerry's neuro on Tuesday to see if there is something  to help settle him down a bit.  The constant pacing and getting into one thing after another is just about more then I can stand.

Any suggestions about what meds may help?



Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 12:49 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 14754

Meds are so individual so I tend to go to non-medical treatment. There is a lot of this online. Here is a start:

Some of the first things to do is simplify. Declutter, do little and have few changes. Routine and consistency can really calm things down.

You have lost 2 dogs (upsetting for all), have brought in two puppies also a change and there has been a change in people in the house. These things will be felt by your husband.

Hang in!!!

Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 1:48 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069


 I just finished bathing Mr. Barclee with hydrocortisone shampoo this time.  Also was able to do a little more trimming on his legs.  He's itching and scratching so I think he needs some Comfortis.  Thought I had some but I don't so will go by the vets when I go to town and get that and some more eyedrops if they've come in.

 Jo - I think I started this thread not too long after Charles was diagnosed in 2008.  Really needed someone to talk with and I really found them.  Doesn't seem possible that it's been that long.  The note under my avatar says I joined in 2011 but that was when they did some kind of upgrade on the site and it lost the older dates.  Same thing with Judith.  At any rate it's been a long time.

 Charles was a sweetie.  I think I've mentioned I have a picture of him sitting against the lamp by his chair.  I took the picture when he was sitting in the chair and he's looking straight at me.  I bet I look at that picture  50 times a day - and I talk to him.  People would think I was crazy - maybe...  There was a Gunsmoke episode I saw a while back and there was this little old woman and she told people she talked to her husband.  He had passed away but later Matt was at her house and she was talking to her husband's picture.  So, was she crazy? 

 I can't imagine what that lady was thinking taking her husband on a cruise.  How many changes did that involve - way too many.  I wouldn't have attempted anything like that with Charles.  It would have bothered me so I know it would have bothered him.  He never had that problem with mirrors.  I do remember shortly after he was diagnosed my sister told me I'd have to get rid of all the mirrors but I didn't and it wasn't a problem.

 Yes, I'm wearing my hair in a ponytail at home but just pulled back with one or two barretts when I go to town. I do cut a couple of inches off the ends from time to time but I'd never be brave enough to cut it really short as Judith suggested.   I wouldn't be lucky enough for it to look good.  My mother had naturally curly hair and she cut her own hair but mine's straight so it wouldn't work.  I have threatened to shave my head - maybe that would be cooler.   It was 90 at 10 this morning with a heat index of 99 - and no wind to stir the air.

 Judith, I did much better the first year than the second.  I attribute part of that to the EBV and CMV but I find I don't want to go anywhere - and I don't - except into our little town when I have to for feed and perishables.  That's plenty for me.  Maybe later I'll change but I really think I could be a hermit.  For the most part I already am.  I told Mike that this morning and he said he could be a hermit, too.  He says he just works and goes home but, of course,  he sees people all day long and into the night.  I'm as happy as I can be right here with the animals.  Not saying I'm that happy so guess the better word is content.   There is that hole that will forever be there - for all caregivers who've lost their mate.  People deal with the loss in different ways and I guess that's good - whatever works.  I go for days, sometimes over a week, without seeing anyone and only a car or PU or two on the road.  I talk to people on the phone so I have outside contact but not face to face. .

 Barb - like I said I'm not brave enough to cut my hair very short - only a couple or three inches.  When Charles and I got married it was down to my waist.  He went to Cosmotology College and as he learned to cut hair, guess who he practiced on.  Then the hair phase was short and curly all over, then very short with bangs for many years and now back to long. The woman who cut my hair for years developed AD. She was really good and cutting my hair only took 15 minutes. I hate to go to beauty shops.  A picture would not depict Annie Oakley - more like Ma Kettles.  I've sat and snacked all winter and gained weight that I need to get off.  It seems the EBV is somewhat better but now the hot weather.  Maybe when it cools off some I can get more exercise and start the loss process.

 Anne, I can really empathize with you about Gerry getting into everything.  Judith knows well how that went here.  It was another phase he went through but it nearly drove me to drink.  I'd look for something where it had been and it wasn't there.  Some things I've never found.  He couldn't take Respiradone and I didn't try Seroquel - or maybe I did.  My sister takes Seroquel with very good results.  As Judith says there's been quite a few changes in your household with the loss of pets and acquiring new ones, so that's probably contributed to it.  Someone with dementia really needs a completely structured environment with few, or no, changes.  We lost some pets after Charles was diagnosed and he never noticed.  We lost one big bull, Casper, who looked just like Jasper, and Charles never noticed.  I guess out of sight - out of mind.  Hopefully, Gerry will settle down after the new puppies get a little older.  If you're going through anything like Patsy's going through I know how disconcerting it can be.  Just take it easy and hope it won't be long before things get better.

 I just got hungry.  Judith, I think there's a couple of boiled eggs in the refrigerator so I think I'll peel them, warm them in the microwave and mash them with salt and pepper and a little mustard to eat with crackers.  Protein!!


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 4:16 PM
Joined: 7/9/2013
Posts: 3205

My cousins wife is always moving things.  He said they play hide and seek.  She hides things and he seeks to find them.  Lorita, I had forgotten that I used to mash boiled eggs with butter and salt.  May have to buy eggs.

I got back from FL, my granddaughter is on the mend.  We almost lost her.  She has malrotation of her intestines, her appendix was in the middle.  Her appendix was black, perforated in several places and leaking, green bile.  Her organs were coated and shutting down.  She was in hospital 4 days after surgery, came home with the drain tube in, and it was removed the other day.  The boys were busy beavers, and dealing with a 5month old puppy, greatgrandma is tired. LOL

Lorita, you are right the second year is harder than the first, I found that out when my first husband passed.  But we must step out as I think Judith said.  I plan to drive to IL to see my sister in August or September.  Her dh passed just 3 months before Bill.  After Bill passed I got back in the quilt guild, go to Hearts and Hands( making quilts for abused children) , went back to crocheting at the senior Center and have joined a couple of stitch groups.  I also crochet at least 50 hats for children for Broken Arrow neighbors.  Find what you enjoy and join.  At first you might be timid at joining something, but go and try it out.  Most groups let you come at least a couple of times to see if that is what you want.  People are friendly and usually try to make you feel welcome.  There are genealogy clubs, book clubs, collectors clubs, check around you'll find them.  If you do join a group and find it isn't for you , quit and try something else.  Just be careful not to overload yourself.  We have to reclaim our lives, remember you deserve to have a life and YOU can make that happen, no matter what your age.  If we can make it through the trials of dementia, we can make it through starting over.

For you that are still caring for your dear loved ones, hang in there, you can do it.


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 5:06 PM
Joined: 12/14/2011
Posts: 249

Judith    I have to say thank you. I did some reading after your post and am looking at  Gerry's restlessness differently now. It is still  irritating but I was just making it worse by getting angry. I am going to listen to some Teepa Snow too and maybe  once he gets used to the pups and the new caregivers he will settle down a bit. 

Lorita   Gerry doesn't  seem  to notice that Koko and Bear are gone - a blessing I  guess though I sure could have used help to bury them.  He keeps picking up Diego and bringing him to me - poor little guy just wants to sleep.  I have no idea why he never brings Oscar  but then Oscar tends to go under the table to sleep.

I try not to think about life after - it was hard enough just talking to the staff at the funeral home to see how I should handle things. Thank goodness they can take care of it all  and I  won't have to call the police.

Since Gerry has not been eating much the last few days I offered him a small meal this afternoon and he ate it all. A small pice of steak was enough and I  had the rest.  I  will offer him a snack before bed and  keep on offering him smaller portions and hope he eats what I  give him.

I also noticed that when he goes to the front door and tries to get out [he can't because I hide the key]  if I take him for a short walk, mabe half a block and back, he is happier.  Nothing is constant in this life and even more so  with Alz.

I am so glad I started posting here - you are all a treasure that gives me the help  to be better to Gerry.  Thank you!!!

Have a good  evening


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 5:34 PM
Joined: 1/23/2012
Posts: 724

Hi all,
first of Lorita don't cut your hair, I bet it looks nice also if it is short , you can't put it up or tie it back. OK enough on that subject. Yes I totally agree that life without the animals would really be miserable, they are at the moment what keeps me very busy and ok with life. Jo, I feel for your neighbor but at that point would never in a million years have taken mine on a cruise, Cosco  experiences were bad enough.

Jfkoc, road trip sounds like a great idea, I know it is hard to get back into life, I was my husbands sole care giver for very many years until the end here at home. I think it changes your DNA, it changes who you are. My best  girlfriend tries to get me to date on line, but sofar I just don't have the " guts". When I read some of the posts about the many health issues people so much younger then I have, I feel very grateful to be able to do what ever I want, or need to do at my young age of yuck 84. To all of you I know it is soooooo awfully hot right now, here again I consider myself lucky, Beach, Beach, and more Beach. A day at the Beach to me is like a mini Vaycay. Lorita, I think you have a pond is that swim able , I have one also, do swim in it, problem, Gator could be in there, sofar not this year. 

Sharon I hope C.A. is healing for you, you need to take care of yourself now.
Sure am hoping Sara will feel better soon, hard to even imaging what she is going through, and at such a young age. As for people I've missed, as I was not on for a long time, may your life be as good as it can be, wishing you health and strength to cope with what ever comes your way.I can post pics on facebook ,e-mail etc, for some reason not here, maybe daughter can help.


every one take care, hugs

Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 5:58 PM
Joined: 1/3/2015
Posts: 148

Yes, friends in Stage 8...I never would have guessed that the 2nd year would be more difficult than the first...maybe in part, because of all the estate settlements to tackle,,,seems never-ending, but now it appears that everything is done. Took a long time even thought we had trusts set up, etc. Had to visit the cardiologist for afib acting up again. The cardiologist seemed surprised when I told her that this 2nd year was worse than the first. The afib was discovered during my husband's last year and I had the cardioversion at that time. I needed it again this week and they told me that 2 years was a pretty good time for it to hold. But you can bet I was very scared when it came back with a vengeance last week. I got up the next morning and paid my bills, did my laundry, and acted as if I wouldn't be coming home again! So silly! But had the procedure done on Friday and seems good. 

I would say to Anne in Mexico that my turning point in the caregiving came when I stopped swimming against the current and truly accepted that sickness and in health...and this is the hand we've been dealt. He would have done the same for me! The 3 years care then became bittersweet and I wouldn't trade them for anything! My husband's sweet grateful nature never left him. Even when he didn't recognize me. And to me, that really wasn't the end of the world...the not knowing me. Sometimes he would be in a happy mood and say, "You know? We should get married!" I'd tell him that we were...and he'd grin and exclaim, "Really?!? Well, that's great!" Those times were the best, but even the worst can be good memories to me. Except for church, I have no desire to get enmeshed in any social doings with men. I just don't know who I would trust anymore. I'm 74 now and view the world through these eyes and not the 21 year old eyes I had when I met my life-long partner. But that's just me. To each his (her) own and God bless us all.


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 6:08 PM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Evening All

I just have a minute but I have a request. There's a new poster who could use some friends and words of encouragement. Her post is titled Call me Sim....Are we unique?

If you'd drop her a quick note to let her know she's not alone, that would be good. 

Tonight is the maintenance for a couple of hours. I hope that goes well. I'll try to respond to posts later. Gotta make LO dinner.


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 7:35 PM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Hi everyone,

Enjoy hearing from all of you.  Anne hope things settle down for you a little bit this week.  Sharon if you are reading I have been thinking about you. You too Sandy.  Glad you are back home Bonnie and your granddaughter is doing better.  It was so kind of you to go and help her out.  

Judith I am in no way in the situation you are in of losing a spouse but I still find it hard to go and do things on my own that I would like to.  I will think I am going to do this or that but often I chicken out.  I would like to go up to Lake Erie by myself and spend the day.  I go with my sisters but never alone.  I hope I get the courage one day, maybe this sumner to go alone.  Hope you can get courage to do something you would like to do. 

We didn't have any rain this weekend.  Temperature cooler too. Very pleasant.  My mom will no longer pick the blueberries for some reason.  I think it might require her to stay at one thing too long.  Did anyone else notice this with their LO in the early stage?  She seems to hop from one thing to another.  I picked 7 quarts over weekend and tried out a new cake recipe that was really good.  Wasn't very sweet.  If anyone is interested in it just say so and I will post it. I love to share recipes and try new ones.  

Take Care,  Sara

Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 8:02 PM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Sara, please post the recipe. I love blueberries.

You mentioned your mom going from one activity to another instead of following through with anything.  My husband has done this for the last two or three years. He will mention things he wants or needs to get done and will begin one but not finish before starting another.  Then recently, just before his stroke, he started doing simple woodwork and was so fixated on it he would do nothing else. He would still mention other things he felt he needed to do but never got to them.  Ever changing, the characteristics of the PWD are impossible to predict. 

Enjoy your blueberries!

Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 8:33 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 14754

Before the sun sets let me clear up that my suggestion of the hair cutting was only in reference to our dear friend musing on how long it took her hair to

I am a firm beliver in pony tails!

Re the second year...for me the first was more painful. Now it is more serious...more real. Dick's flight jacket is on the back of his dining chair and I have a lot of happy photos around. Too many things have happened for me not to think he is around.

Now an update about Luke. It is like living with and 18 month old child without diapers. No poop yet. He is next to me at all times...even follows me into the bathroom.

Maybe I think change is important because I need to think that I can. Who knows.


Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 9:44 PM
Joined: 5/31/2015
Posts: 1074

Evening all

What is a 'real life' after losing your spouse...strange this topic came up today...I met the ladies for lunch Thursday...we are all retired and our work interacted with each other over the years.  They started talking about life after your spouse passes...1 of them has been widowed for 3 yrs and 2 have for 1 1/2 yrs.  One for much longer and the difficulties they have had in what other people call "moving on".  I find my self preferring to stay at home or be at the nursing home.     They talked about the huge change in living alone and adjusting to having to take care of everything...we have already gone through that.  Ron's been in the NH for 2 yrs now.  Won't make his passing any easier but I am used to living alone now.  No more thinking I hear him in the house...talking, snoring or walking around.  I call it stage 7 1/2. We all have moved on in life...taking care of every day issues...getting out and about to socialize as we feel like our lives as to what is comfortable for us.  There is no time frame to 'live' again...its a step by step process as it is with grieving...we are living our lives.  Life is not a 'one size fits all'.  Some of us are extroverts and others are introverts.  

Anne, sorry about the pacing and rummaging DH is doing.  I also took DH out for a short walk sometimes when he paced...seemed to calm that nervous energy.  I just always kept an eye on where he was in the house when pacing to make sure he didn't get hurt.  Put anything that you don't want 'lost' up somewhere.  And I mean 'up' DH wouldn't look up when opening closets or cabinets, always looked eye level.  Get a basket that you can place on the shelf and put the items in there.   Many changes in your home...his environment...can take its toll on our loved ones.  Just go with the flow.

Bonnie, Good to hear granddaughter is doing well enough for you to be back home again. You are always a busy lady.

Lorita, how has Sarah been over the weekend.

Nothing going on here...been home all weekend...daughter and hubby went out of town and her 21 yr old son kept the 5 yr old so I stayed close incase he needed me.  He is so good with her and she just adores him.  I did get to keep her today as he had to work this afternoon.  Enjoyed my day!!

Nite...take care



Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 1:16 AM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736

Quick note as I am so sleepy.  I am so good. My sis and I went on a ferry to San Francisco today. Shopped, ate well. So good to play without limits of time.

Anne, start walking your hubby. That cured my hubby. We walked about a half mile a couple pls times a day.. he then came home and could relax.

Will write more tomorrow. Saw 25 old friends yesterday, at a funeral. Tender and sweet

Blessings, Sharon.

I am loving my short hair!

Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 6:37 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Blueberry Cake

1 1/4C all purpose flour          1 1/2t baking powder            2C blueberries

1/2C sugar                                3/4 C milk                            1/3C sugar

1/4t salt.                                     1/3C butter melted.              1t vanilla

There is no egg in this cake

Mix flour,  1/2C sugar, salt and baking powder..

Stir in milk and melted butter.

Spread into a greased 8in square dish.

Sprinkle blueberries evenly on top.

Sprinkle 1/3C sugar evenly over top (I only used about half of this).  Drizzle vanilla over top.

350 degrees 40-45 minutes,  toothpick should come out clean.  Will have a little blue on it but no batter.  Some said they had to bake it 10 minutes longer but mine was done in 45 minutes.

Got this off the internet somewhere, can't remember which site.

Glad you are getting to relax Sharon.

Don't work too hard today Lorita.  I have long hair too.  I keep it in a braid and the braid up in a knot.


Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 7:17 AM
Joined: 10/31/2013
Posts: 1676

Hi all

Thanks to those who have been asking about me, I've been reading, but even though I think "I should answer" haven't got around to it.  I'm still in a bit of a fog in many ways.   But today it became real......the death certificate came.   I noticed that they have put causes of death on it

1..Aspiration pneumonia

2..Acute renal failure

3..Severe dementia 

It was interesting to se that they had put that in there, after reading some of the other comments on here about having it noted.

I'm really OK.  Getting on with things again.  I'm back to tennis, and started back to my painting last week.    I had a lovely gift when I went to tennis this morning.  One of the ladies gave me a bag, and said, "this is a present from my grandson, and you are not allowed to cry".  He is 17, and has just had his school holidays, and while he was home he spent time making me a lovely wooden chopping board.  "She's had a bad time the last few years, and now she's going to a new home this will be nice for her, and it's a thank you for pushing me on the swing when I was little".  I did cry!

Yes, I'm still going ahead with my new place.  I went to look at it again last week with my daughters and we are all agreed that it is lovely.  Brand new kitchen, new carpet, freshly painted, new washing machine and dryer, almost a new home.......and no more mowing.   I went there on Friday with a friend, who has a friend who lives there, and we had lunch in the restaurant on site.   I think I'm going to be really happy there.

Well I was going to write a novel, but I've just had an hours phone call from a dear friend, so I'm off to bed now.

Thinking of you all


Jo C.
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 10:45 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 8792

Dearest Sandra, thank you very much for dropping in and letting us know how you are.   What a beautiful gift from that young man, well; it made me cry too . . . . you tell his Gran to let him know that I am sending him a big hug all the way from California.   What a gem he is.

That death certificate, it is something to see in print and certainly raises feelings up and gets all sorts of thoughts and ruminations going on.

Your new place sounds just lovely and I am really happy that you are so happy about it!  Are there any photos online from the community that shows it?  Would love to see what it is like. 

Bonnie, I am truly glad that all turned out well with your granddaughter; what a scary time.  It is terrible when we want to protect and make it all better and do not have the power to do so, but I am willing to bet that after the crisis was resolved she felt your love all over herself.  Sure wish I had your talents to create with my hands, you are a treasure trove of beautiful creativity.

Sharon sounds as though she is having a wonderful time reouping with her sister; what adventures she is having.  And a new hairdo too.   I am happy for her.

Judith, I can feel and understand what you have been sharing, I send you a soft hug and so hope that peace and ease soon come to you; I cannot begin to imagine, but do know that in such a circumstance, I know myself enough to know that I would be locked in without a window for a very, very long time; perhaps for all time. I am not as resiliant in that sort of situation.  I sometimes feel ashamed in that I still have my husband and many here do not.  I feel the sorrow and hurt that I hear from those left to move into the future without their beloved.  My heart really does go out to you and everyone. 

Heavens, we have been here so long.  I think I started in 2006.   We have more communication than we can count and have gone places together that we never foresaw.  And Lorita's ongoing thread . . . since 2008; can you believe it?  Geeze, that means we are all nine years older than when we began this with Lorita and always room for one more over and over again.

Anne, I too think the arrival of the pups and the changes are what are getting your husband a bit out of sorts.  It will take some time to adapt and two pups need a whole lot of adapting to.  It is really so true, our LOs really thrive with routine and structure and when they reach a point at which even small changes in routine are upsetting, it can be a definite challenge.  You are doing a great job of it all, just don't forget to treat yourself well too.

Surfergirl, did you say you are 84?  Still surfing?   Now I am really curious.

And Betty; I am delighted to hear your heart responded well to the defib process, it must have been scary to do that again.   Happy, happy, joy, joy that it is done, done, done!

Lorita, please take good care with the heat and all, you and I are still reverberating with the darned EBV stuff that even though it improves, it still leaves stuff circling around.   Geeze, beeze, loueeze.    Tell those doggies and cows (and bulls) to behave themselves and not to give you any trouble, you are the female version of St. Francis . . . . all animals probably know that Lorita is a very nice lady and a very soft touch.

Take care, I am off to get myself in gear.

Hugs to one and all once again,


Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 11:55 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880


So good to hear from you.  I send that young man a great big hug too.  There are a lot of nice young people out there.  It is just too bad they are not the ones focused on.  I would have shed a tear to.  That would be, a happy tear not a sad tear.

Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 3:40 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069


For some reasons the bold won't work right now. 

Welcome home, Bonnie!  I'm so glad your granddaughter is improving.  I know she was really glad for you to be there to help out.  You really did have your hands full with the children and new puppy.  Time to rest. 

I'm not a joiner - never have been and after over 33 years I've attended so many meetings I don't think I could stand another one.  Anyway, I'd have to travel quite a ways to get to one and don't even know what's available.  Carol goes to a Retired Federal Employees meeting once monthly but I'm not even interested in doing that.  It'll work itself out eventually, one way or another.

Betty, you sound a lot like I feel.  I'm not interested in socializing.  Gosh, I'm three-quarters of a century old - been there, done that or as much as I want to do.  I'm content being alone for the most part.  Charles and I were never people to visit or socialize much so the only thing that's really different is that he's not here. 

Sara, I love blueberries.  We've never grown them but did go to a nearby blueberry farm once and picked some.  The recipe for the cake sounds really good.  When I go to the store I'll see if they have some fresh ones.

Judith, it's very hot outside so the pony tail is going strong today.  I think you're right about the second year.  We've had a year or more to process what's happened and now we're having to deal with it.  I know I feel Charles here just as I know you've had feelings of Dick being with you.  It really is comforting.  Just think how lonesome we'd be without our fur friends.  Everywhere I go in the house I have to step over Stormy and Sheena but that's okay.  They just lay there and watch me.  I'm glad Luke is doing all right.  Does he ever get up on the bed?  Stormy does occasionally to check to see if Barclee has left any food.

Ellen, it isn't easy to deal with everything yourself.  I had done that for several years before I lost Charles but at least he was there to bounce ideas off of (bad grammer, sorry).  There are so many decisions to make - when or if to spray, or mow, when to get feed and where to put it, etc.  Just goes on and on.  But, I think we're only stewards of the land and we have to do the best we can for it.   Are you making as many trips during this awful weather to Amarillo as you did when it was cooler?   Please be careful on your trips.  I never go anywhere without at least one bottle of cold water.  Years ago wherever we went anywhere  mother always had a thermos of ice water with her and I'd think - you know we can stop somewhere and get a coke if we want one.  Now, I've turned into my mother, guess we all do.  Even if you have AAA and call them, there's always an hour's wait, depending on how busy they are and where you are.

Sharon, good to hear from you and know you're doing all right.  I know you enjoyed seeing some of your old friends and the trip to San Francisco.  Be glad you're missing some of our hot, Oklahoma summer.

Sara, I've always wondered how someone can braid their own hair.  I can plait it, kind of, but that's all.  Since it's longer, it's straight where when I was younger there were some waves in it.  Also since it's now silver (mostly) the texture has changed so much - doesn't want to lay flat, just stand up and be frizzy.

Sandra, it's good to see a post from you.  I agree with the ladies, what a sweet young man to think of giving you that present.   Your new home sounds wonderful.  I know you're exciting about moving in - when will that be?   Keep us in mind and let us hear from you as often as you can.  Take care and rest when you can. 

Jo, about the death certificates; I remember when I received the one for Charles.   I couldn't look at it or read it for a long time.  I think that's because it was the final thing.  Still don't want to look at it.

It has been a long time - so many people have come and gone but some of us are still here.  It's always good to welcome newcomers but sad, too, that they have to be here.  But, all in all, this is the best place a person can be when dementia comes into their lives.  There's so much help and good advice and just plain comfort from people we'll probably never see but feel like we've known forever. 

So far, all the girls, and boys, are behaving.  I had written that we had one cow due to calve on the 18th but I hope it doesn't pan out - just too hot for new babies.  I think there are a couple next month, too.  After this year they'll all be in March and April which is much better for them.  Our cattle are black and they really soak up the heat.  The barn and shade are a necessity for them, and others, too.  I'm keeping Sweet Pea and Billy beside the barn in a nice shade.  I know it's much cooler out here than in town but it's very humid because of moisture coming off the damp ground and green grass.  I go out early, do my things and stay in until late when I go out to feed Billy.  Have I mentioned that I don't like summer?

Thank you for the kind words - the animals pretty much tell me what to do and I do think they understand what I say to them because, for the most part, they do what I tell them or motion for them to do.  Even the two bulls, Alfalfa and Spanky, are getting used to me.  I haven't told Mike that I've named his bulls.  He'd laugh at me.

I couldn't make myself get out of bed this morning until 6:15 so I was already behind.  This is trash day so had to get that rounded up plus the other things so decided I wouldn't go into town today.  I'm not out of anything, was just going while it was one degree cooler.  I may go in the morning.  There's really no need to go at all except for creep feed for the five little ones - Billy isn't eating feed yet.  Wish there was a way they could deliver but that's out of the question.   Haven't felt on top of the world today - I lifted quite a lot yesterday so the costo is acting up some and my stomach doesn't feel great - but it's not bothering my appetite.  I wish they'd never been such a thing as EBV or CMV - I know it's still around even though there are days when it's not nearly as bad and I really don't get out of breath as often as before.  Patsy, my cousin, has it, and she's worse than I am.

Jack went home yesterday and they're so happy to be back together.  I mentioned the trouble she was having with the new puppy - well, as soon as Jack got home, she settled down and spends a lot of time just watching him.  They saw a snake in their front yard yesterday and that has Patsy spooked.  She went up to get Jack yesterday and laid her cell phone on top of her car and forgot it.  When they were still in town, going home, they heard it slide off and hit the pavement.  They looked for it but couldn't find it.  Her car is red and the phone was red so she didn't notice it.  I told her about the time Charles and I were coming down to my parent's house for a meal and we had made a pie.  I sat it on top of the car and forgot it.  It actually made it half a mile before it blew off.  Silly that people do things like that.

I haven't talked with Sarah today.  She sounded pretty good yesterday.  She has an appointment with her PCP tomorrow.  I hope she does all right until she can get the "elective" surgery.  Still can't understand why they say it's elective.

Got my things ordered from WM this morning after trying twice yesterday.  They should be here Wednesday or Thursday - mostly canned cat and dog food - so glad I don't have to lug that in from the store.  Guess I should have a garden and a milk cow so I wouldn't have to go to the store - but there's still orange juice to contend with.  No orange trees here or cranberry bogs either.

Hope all of you are doing all right today.  Sandy (Sasue) do hope you're over your soreness and can get around easier.  Take care of yourself and don't fall again.  Carol talks about how careful she is about falling now.  Her daughters try to help her off the curbs - I think she kind of resents that.  I know I usually hold onto the bannister when I'm going down the front steps. 

Be back later.



Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 12:38 AM
Joined: 4/8/2015
Posts: 195

Well ladies it just amazes me the amount of support that y'all gvie to one another.  I read often and post very seldom however tonight I had a chance since my DW had been sleeping all day and only got up to eat lunch so my care giver told me when I returned from work.

Lorita, All the times that you post about moving dirt, having the flat tire, and the some of the other things that you do around the farm I wish I was closer to give you a hand with it.  I grew up going out to a little place that my grand parents had in the country and helpping some cousins with cattle when I was younger and still like doinmg all that hard work.  However, I dont have a current passport that will allow me to leave TX and come into OK and I already snuck up to Tulsa once this year so no need pushing my luck. Sorry!  At the end I am posting a recipe for you that you stated around your birthday that you had never seen one for before.  This is a recipe of an old family friend that I am going to try to make later this year for my buddies father it was his Aunts and he hasn't been able to find it.  I need to cut it in half or else we will eat them all at one am become fatter.


Judith, Dont you dear cut that hair of your's.  The picture that you have of yourself and Dick I think is a great picture and your white hair flowing over your sholders is jsut beautiful.  I remembedr when my wife asked me if I would mind if she let her hair go gray and I said not in the lease.  I tried to convince her to let it grow long and she never would.  I just recently had her hair cut and it was really hard for me as I dont know anything about having Ladies hair cut or doing finger nails but I''m learning. 


Dana, I hope you and Bob are doing better and from what you have posted Bob is making some improvements and that is good.  I haven't seen you at the support meeting since I think February when my DW was on hospice and then your DH  became ill.  Any way Nancy in our group lost her mother in April and I don't know if you have been able to make it to church or not but Glenn lost his DW last month.  We are talking about maybe ending the support group due to the numbers are so low now, this month there were just three of us with me being the oldest member. I cant beleive that I have been going for 5 1/2 years now.

Im glad that your A/C working again however if the refrigerant they put in the system is in a green jug the leak needs to be found as that refrigerant is getting very costly.  So keep an eye on it and lets hope you get through the sumner.I think you might know someone that does A/C work.

Sandra, I'm glad you are going on with the move I think it will be good.  The picture you posted of your DH I think Ron if not I'm sorry was so good I could see the Irish in him. I went to Ireland in 1987 with my mother after my father passed. I found a trip once that I was going to take my DW on before we were married but the price to turned out to be to good for the airfare so we never made it.  That was the only place she ever told me she wanted to go and now I don't think I can ever  

                                                OLD-FASHIONED TEA CAKES

1c. butter                            1/2 tsp. salt

2 c sugar                             1 tsp. vanilla

4 eggs                                 1/4 c. milk

2 tsp. baking powder          7 c. flour

1/2 tsp. soda

     Cream butter and sugar well.  Add eggs, one at a time. Sift dry ingredients with only 1 cup of flour.  Add to the creamed mixture, then add the 6 cups flour with the milk and vanilla.  Mix only enough of the flour to make the proper consistency for rolling.  Roll about 5/8 inch thick and cut with a 2 inch round cutter.  Place on cookie sheet and bake in a 375* oven until lightly brown.  The secret to their cakelike texture is to place them right out of the oven into an airtight container.  Makes 3 to 4 dozen cakes. 

Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 4:48 AM
Joined: 9/11/2013
Posts: 1083

Bonnie, that was an awful scare for your granddaughter. How does a malrotation happen? So glad she is home and healing. 
Nice to see your post, Lahkota. The tea cakes look easy to make. 
Sara, the blueberry cake sounds yummy, too. I love blueberries. They are even great in a salad. 
 Sandra,  glad to hear you are doing well. 

 I went with friends to see Dick's friend who has PSP.  He has now lost his vision and needs round the clock care. He fell backwards and broke some bones in his neck that had to be fused together. He cried when we were leaving which broke my heart. 

Ellen, I'm trying to figure out my purpose in life after Dick passed. I'm not sure what a "real life" looks right now. Tutoring fills the void. 

Hope all have a nice day. Losing power so I'll sign off. 


Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 6:06 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Diane, never thought about trying them in salad.  I'll have to try it.  I like dried cranberries in salad so I think blueberries will be good too.
Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 7:42 AM
Joined: 3/1/2015
Posts: 2140

Lakhota I would use your first name but thought maybe you don't want it on here?  It's good to hear from you. It sounds like your wife continues to do better than she was. And you are still able to work. That is a blessing. I hadn't heard that Nancy had lost her Mom. I have her number somewhere. I'll try to call her. Yes I knew Glen lost Paulette. I saw him last week and he seems to be going on with life. His daughters are a great help with that. And he's still so active in the community, knows so many people. Staying connected will get him through, I think. Thanks for thinking of me. Yes hubby is improving slowly. His cognition has taken a small hit. Physically, he is getting impatient to get up and out again freely. I have to watch for signs of depression because he almost gets discouraged. I try to keep a good balance of taking him out most every day and getting enough rest. 

Yes the coolant is in the large green cans. The leak has been fixed. Don't know what we would have had to pay without having our own coolant. I'm so glad Hubby had the foresight to buy it when they first stopped making any more of it. It was still cheap then about 60.00 per can. Now close to a thousand dollars. 

I haven't been able to leave Hubby evenings to go to the support group. I have missed seeing everyone. I'm sorry to hear there is thought of not having the group any longer. Denise is a wonderful facilitator but I know she is stretched in many directions. The most helpful people often are. 

Thanks for posting the recipe. After you make them let us know how good they are. They would probably be delicious with some blueberry topping!  (Or any fruit)

You ladies who are discussing rebuilding your lives, or finding a life for yourself again have me thinking. What should I be doing now to plan for that time to come? Is there really anything I can do with getting out becoming more restricted already. It's something to think about, though I don't want to think of a time without him. 

Sharon I am glad you're enjoying Cali, playing and destressing.  Blessings to you as you heal.

Surfer girl, I always thought of you as much younger than me. I just turned 69. You make 84 sound really young and fun! Hang in there and keep posting. 

Hubby is sleeping in this morning. His occupational therapist comes at 11:00. Nothing much else planned for today. This evening I will need to get the trash all up the drive. Like Lorita's, our house is a good quarter mile off the road. . Have a good day, everyone.


Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 11:55 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Lorita, Lorita, Lorita

Remember you warning me about the handy man?  I really thought he was an ok guy.  I may be wrong about that.  Today when I balanced her check book she had given him a large amount of money and marked gift on the check.  I feel this is bad financial judgement but you can't reason with her so no reason to try.  Too late now anyway he has bought a new truck.  I mentioned briefly to this man about a year ago that I felt my mom was starting to mentally decline.  I gave him a few examples.  So I feel even if my mom offered him the money he should have declined it or came and asked me about it.  My mom thinks she is rich.  She tells people her husband left her financially well off.  They don't know better and think it is true.  In reality she couldn't pay for one year of memory care.  So l no longer trust him but don't feel I have any ability to stop her friendship with him.  The only reason I told him was I would not be surprised if someday my mom doesn't start wandering.  She already for several years goes to neighbors houses uninvited and acts like she is their best friends.  I just wanted him to know to call me if he found her out lost because he runs around the neighborhood a lot.  No judge would declare her incompetent.  I have dopa as of about a year ago.  When she handed it to me she said I can revoke this any time.  It is her money, but my dad worked hard to earn it. He worked at steel mill during day and farmed when he got home.  He did this to try and help us girls outa d so mom would be able to take care of herself when he was gone. He would not be happy with her wasting it.  My mom is very controlling and overbearing.  She uses money to try and have control over people. My mom has never mentioned this to me, I believe she knows I wouldn't approve of this.  She also knows I won't try and stop her either.  She knows I only set a very few boundaries.  Well I am not sure if this is a vent or a question but thanks for listening.  I will talk to my sisters about this soon.  I would like to talk with my moms siblings also but I have reservations about it because of no official diagnosis.  My one sister said to me in the past they know something is wrong.  Yes indeed we do.

Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 12:27 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069

Morning, glories,

 Well, barely still morning.  Thank you, Lakhota for the recipe.  It sounds like it would make a cookie very similar to what grandma made.  I'll copy it and make some when the weather's cooler.  Don't want to heat the house even with AC - being in Texas you know what I mean. 

 Lakhota - anything to do with tribal name?  Charles used to get things from the Lakota Sioux after he sent a donation once.  I have dream catchers all over the house.  Glad you posted.  Thank you for the offer of help.  I've lived here all my life so I'm used to what has to be done and if I don't know how to do something I have a good neighbor and vet who can tell me how it's done or help with it.  I think my tiredness is getting some better so maybe by cooler weather I'll be able to get some thing done that I haven't been able to do.  There's a gate to the pen inside the barn that the cattle have knocked down.  I tried to lift it but couldn't but I'll figure it out - maybe Bryon when he comes to mow can get it up and secured for me.

 I made it into town this morning.  I went to bed early last night thinking I'd get a good night's sleep but wasn't sleepy until at least 12:30.  Got up at 6. Doesn't seem like it was very long ago when it was good daylight at 6 with the sun coming up shortly thereafter but now it isn't very light.  There was fog over the meadow and NE pasture this morning but the girls were still grazing behind the barn so didn't have to go far to see them.  Fed Sweet Pea and Billy and the cats and put the wheel with the pieces of the tire in the back of the PU.  Didn't get away until about 7:15 and got back home about 9:40.  I made three extra stops so it took a little longer.  Left the wheel at the tire shop to put on a new tire, then picked it up after I got the feed.  The feedstore wasn't open yet - thought it opened at 7:30 but the owner was there and the guys were getting there so could get loaded.  I wasn't sure whether my script for the medicated feed was still good but it's good until Aug. 13 so will have to get back in to load up on medicated feed before then.  Got my groceries, then called to see if Barclee's eyedrops had come in at the vets.  They had so stopped by there and got the eyedrops and Comfortis for him. 

 The tire was $112, without tax.  I remember I used to get two tires for $50 but must remember that was over 50 years ago.  Charles and I used to laugh at mother and daddy when they'd talk about how much something used to be.  A few years later we started doing the same thing.  The thing that always sticks in my mind is Velveeta cheese.  Just after we got married it was .79 for the box and would go on sale for .59 pretty often.  I noticed this morning it's over $6.00.  I did find some Bing cherries and a big cantaloupe, avocados and bananas.   Of course, potatoes.  Couldn't live without them.   Beats me how I can go to a town of under 4,000 people for less than two hours and drop over $500.  Of course, with the feed about $250 I guess it does make sense.  Glad that's done for a couple of weeks.

 I left Stormy and Sheena in the house while I was gone and heard Stormy barking when I drove up.  He pulls the curtains back and looks out the window when he hears something outside. 

 Just talked with Sarah.  She's hangin' in there, as she says.  Has an appointment tomorrow with family practice.  The lady who cleans house for her is with her today and Todd will go to the appointment with her tomorrow.  She still has the puppy.  She told me she called the number on the rabies tag this morning and found that she's not a puppy but six years old and only has about three or four teeth.  She's a West Highland Terrier - teacup size.  Says she only weighs about three pounds.  I think they have three dogs now.  Teagan and Mason seem to like her so guess it's all right.  She'll be Sarah's bed buddy.  Judith, Sarah says she pushes the door closed when she goes to the bathroom and Teagan pushes it open and she and Angel come in - same thing here except Stormy likes to lay in the bathroom where it's a bit cooler.

 Sara - I found some blueberries this morning so will make the blueberry cake when I have enough initiative and before they spoil. 

 Scarlet's birthday is the 20th.  I can't believe she'll be 56 years old.  I sent her a card this morning with some money but I think I'll order one of those edible bouquets for she and Logan.  I've never seen one in person but they look so good.  Saw one on the internet last night that had watermelon in it.  I was going to look for a watermelon this morning and forgot it. 

 It was already hot and humid with no wind this morning when I went out.  Everything was wet from dew.  It's much hotter now and still no breeze.  Saw lots of baled hay on the meadows on the way back from town.  Looks like Mark's son (he's baling for his dad this year) has a lot of hay down about two miles SE of here.  He wasn't baling (has to let it dry out) but will probably bale that big meadow this afternoon - probably somewhere cutting this morning.  They'll probably get ours by the end of this week.  Not much of anything prettier than a meadow with those big, round bales of hay on it.  Do you think I sound like I'm from the country?   I am and glad to be.  I don't think I could exist in town and hope I never have to try it. 

 Okay, will quit before I write a book.   Hope everyone's okay this morning - stay in and stay cool.  I noticed it was going to be 95 in the far northern states today. 



Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 2:18 PM
Joined: 9/21/2016
Posts: 195

Hello everyone, Just finished reading Lorita's post and it made me think also about the way prices have changed so much.  It reminded me of years ago when we were thinking about buying a bigger house before our 3rd child was born and we found a 3 bedroom brick home with 2 car garage that we liked and was telling my father in law about it and the price was 34,500.00.  He said that was just crazy to pay that for a house.  We bought our first home in 1963 for 8,500. and our second home in 1967 for 18,500..We decided to stay there and added another room and a new kitchen and lived there until our daughter finished high school and then sold it for 89,000.  Now I see the prices homes are selling for and it is hard for me to see just as it was for my father in law  back then.  Same at the grocery store,seems like every time I go prices have creeped up again.

It is also very hot here today and DH decided he would go out and mow again today even though he just mowed 2 days ago, so finally got him back in the house again.  He doesn't like me to tell him what to do and said he wasn't hot but did come in pretty quick. 

Saw the recipe for the tea cakes, my mother used to talk about how good those were and she found a recipe for old fashioned tea cakes that were a little different than the recipe from Lakhota, this one had nutmeg for the seasoning instead of vanilla. I don't know if she ever made them or not but know nutmeg was a popular spice that was used a lot back in her day.

Have to go and make some plans for dinner so hope everyone is doing ok today.


Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 9:29 PM
Joined: 5/31/2015
Posts: 1074

Evening all...

I am so happy tonight for my 15 yr old granddaughter and her team mates.  She plays fast pitch softball (Jr league) and they went to Albuquerque for the state tournament.  They lost their first game Friday night so went into the loser's bracket playoffs.  They swept the bracket so they ended up in the semi-finals; won the semi-final last night and played for the state title tonight and WON!!!  The girls put their all into it and their coaches did a wonderful job coaching and supporting them through this.  Now they go back to ALB this coming weekend for the Southwest Regional title.  I know they are just so exhausted yet exhilarated.  I can't stop smiling for them, lol.  

Sandra, it's so good to hear from you.  What a wonderful gift from the young every time you chop/cook you will think of him...very thoughtful and sweet of him.  Your new home sounds lovely and I am sure you will enjoy it and the amenities.  

Yes Lorita I am still traveling up to see Ron...even in this heat...thankfully cars have air conditioning to keep us comfortable and its not a long walk from the parking to the facility so it all works out well.  They keep the facility really cool...sometimes I put on one of Ron's sweaters as I get chilled in there.  But keeping it really cool is better on the residents as they can put on long sleeves or sweaters to take the chill off but can't cool down if it is too warm.   And I always have a bottle of water in the side pocket of my purse (hmm, maybe that's why its so heavy, lol).  I never go anywhere without a bottle but I prefer room temp water not cold (strange huh).  And I refill it when I go to leave the facility.

Lorita, the things you have to take care of on a daily basis are so much more intense than most of us have to do.  Your livestock/animals are all dependent on you.  Your land has to be carefully tended to, also, to reap your hay and to keep it healthy and safe for the livestock.  I am in awe of you for what you take care of and the decisions you have to make to keep the farm running.  And it was a way of life that you and Charles worked side by side, shared responsibilities, for so many years.  For me, I just have the normal household issues to take care of...repairs that come up for the house or vehicle and maintaining the yards.  In my eyes, my responsibilities/decisions/management have not really increased much over the years but yours has.   You are just awesome....

Lakhota, thanks for posting the recipe...we love to get new and different recipes.  

Diane, you will find your can just take already are out in the world with friends and family and I am sure you enjoy tutoring your 'kids'.  For now that may be all you need.  Time will tell.  You always wrote such lovely things about each and every one of them previously.  It was obvious it is something you love doing...mentoring, nurturing those young minds.  

Sara, I put lots of fruits in my salads...blueberries, strawberries, peaches, pears, apples, pineapple, cantaloupe and dried cranberries...adds a refreshing taste to the salads.  I also put cottage cheese in them too.

Dana, I had imagined Surfer to be younger too.  I surfed as a teen (raised on east coast) so when I see her name I always envision her surfing.  

Well that's about it for tonight.  Hope everyone is doing okay today.  Hello to anyone I missed.




Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 8:34 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069


 It's already in the 80s and dew point is 74 so it's muggy and hazy.  I've been trying to see the girls without going into the pasture -  haven't managed to yet but they're on the way to the pond and barn.  Last night I let Sweet Pea out to be with the other girls during the night and she made a beeline for the pond.  Several of them were in the shallowest part, just standing in the cool water.  She swan across the pond, then all the way to them through the deepest part, could only see her head.  I guess she really wanted to get cooled off.  She was at the gate waiting to get into her baby early this morning. 

 Barb, another thing I notice that keeps going up is the price of apples.  It hasn't been long that you could always find some kind of them for under a dollar a pound - not any more. My favorite is Braeburn and they always seem to be high.  Even celery was over $2.00 a couple of weeks ago.  I guess everything will just keep getting higher.  Another thing I remember is - in 1965 I bought a new Mustang - it was about $2300.  A couple of years later I bought a new Cougar - a couple of thousand more, and as I changed cars the prices just kept going up.  I looked at a new Jeep a few weeks ago and it was about $33,000  - almost the price we paid for our 3/4 ton Dodge Ram in 2001.  And, they're not made as well as the old ones.  Charles bought a 1949 Dodge Wayfarer years ago and it was built like a tank.  The brand new price of it was under $500 when it was new.

 I'm anxious to try the recipe for the tea cakes.  I really liked the ones grandma made but she couldn't give me a recipe - it was a little of this and a pinch of this.  When she made a cake she would always put a spoonful or two in a piepan and bake it to see if it was all right or if she had to add a little something else.  My favorite thing to do was to eat that little bit of baked cake with some raw dough.  Doubt I would do that now.

 Sara, we must have been posting about the same time and I just saw your post this morning about the handyman.  I think I would have a good talk with that man - he knew better than to take that money from your mother and should have told you what she did.  Not saying all handymen are like that but it really pays to watch them.  They find vulnerable people who live alone and gradually get them to depend on them and then take advantage of them.  Not sure what you can do even if you have DPOA.  I'm sure your relatives will have an idea.  She can revoke the DPOA and you don't want that to happen.  What about transferring most of the money to another account?  That would depend on whether she watches her bank statements or not.  Is there a way you can take over paying her bills and tell her you'll take care of paying the handyman?  Of course that wouldn't deter her from giving him a check anyway.  Really a problem.

 Judith - today is National Hot Dog Day!!  On our local morning show they're talking about whether you put mustard or catsup on hotdogs.  When I ate them, I liked mustard, onion and chili.  Same for Charles.  Never tried one with sauerkraut.  Hope things are all right with you.  Todd called yesterday and we had a long visit.  Sarah has an appointment with family practice today and I had asked her if he was going.  She told me he was.  I mentioned it to him and he didn't know about the appointment.  She also has not had a visit from home health since she's been home.  He asked her about that and she told him she'd call.  I thought the caseworker had taken care of that.  I'm going to call today and find out - either the social worker or home health - I think it's Excell.

Ellen, be very careful on your trips to Amarillo.  I always have a bottle of water with me.  I used to think that was silly but not anymore - I've turned into my mother.  I'm sure you keep your cell phone with you on your trips - you  never know when a flat will happen or some other unforeseen thing. 

I'm used to taking care of decisions but it's harder and not as much fun without Charles being here.  I used to tell him that without him with me, none of this would mean anything.  It still does but there's this big, empty hole that will never be filled.

Just got in from feeding Billy and putting the sacks of catfood in the back of the car.  I brought in the new sack of milk replacer all the time thinking I didn't recognize the brand.  Sure enough they gave me the wrong brand.  I'll call in a little while to see if they were out of Nutra Blend - they gave me Rancher's Choice.  When they (a new guy) began to load the medicated creep I noticed the sacks looked different and sure enough he had picked up the wrong kind so had to get that stopped and replaced.  The regular guys know what the customers use but he was new so I can understand.  I don't want to change brands because it might upset his stomach so this means another trip into town to exchange it.  Doesn't have to be done right now because I still have at least 20 pounds of the Nutra Blend. 

My legs really ached last night - I counted and I had to get in the PU 7 times and out 7 times yesterday.  It's a really high step even with the running boards and I hadn't been doing that.  They seem all right this morning.  Seems like all I do is complain about something.  Better stop and go out and see if I can see all the girls.  Can't rest until I do.   Be back later.

I'm back. Went out and the girls were already in the barn.  Didn't want to go into an enclosed space with two bulls I really don't know.  With Jasper I could walk up and pet him.  So, drove around the pastures to see if I could see anything amiss.  Didn't, so will watch when they come out.  Aggravates me that I missed seeing them as they went in.

I called the feed store and they're out of Nutra Blend but will get more.  I'll go in later this week or next. 

Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 11:23 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069


I found I had the name of Sarah's caseworker so called her to see if she had set up home  health at time of discharge.  She looked up the case, then asked why Sarah needed home health. 

She said normally when someone has home health and goes home from the hospital, they contact home health themselves.  I told her that Sarah really isn't up to following through.  She was very nice and cooperative so she will contact home health for her.

FedEx just delivered my order.  I asked him if the back of their truck is air conditioned.  It isn't and he said it's 15-20 degrees hotter than the cab.  I ordered chocolate last summer and it was really soft so that's why.  Won't do that again.

11:32 - 

I just had a call from the caseworker.  She had called home health and they told her they had cancelled Sarah's case on the 27th.  She didn't ask why but is doing a new referral and requesting  they come out to see her tonight.  She will give them my name for followup from them.  Sarah doesn't always answer her phone for various reasons.  Glad I called.

Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 10:46 PM
Joined: 7/9/2013
Posts: 3205

Lorita, no one on today, I am surprised.  Hope that means all is well.  It's so good you are keeping up with Sarah.  Will keep praying for her.  I'd like to shake those Dr.'s, or at least knock them in the head and tell them, WAKE UP, she needs help.

My granddaughter continues to get better.  My dd, her mother had a baby day Monday.  She happen to see her drivers license was passed due, got that renewed, as she was leaving there was a loud bang like something hit her car door, and the window slid down, had to take to dealer and got it fixed.  She and her dh went out to eat when he got home.  They were T-boned.  They are sore, her neck and shoulder is the worse, but also leg and arm.  Today she had a bad headache.  The car that hit them was taken away on a flatbed wrecker, they were able to limp home.  It is probably totaled.  Otherwise all is well.  I am going to AR Friday, to a friend there's Memorial.  And also see another friend who was just diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer and pelvic cancer.  Her dh just past last Jan of cancer.  Both are a shock, they were always so healthy, never sick.  You just never know.

Glad you are doing so much better, you seem to have more energy.  I think you are winning the EBV fight, Jo C. seems to be doing better also.  

Have a good night and sleep well.


Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 11:34 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 9069

 Hi Bonnie,

I'm glad your gd is continuing to improve.  How is her EBV doing? With that and trying to recover from surgery must be very hard and with little ones to care for.  Seems like when it rains, it pours.

Thankfully, your daughter and get husband weren't hurt more in the car wreck.  She did have a bad day. You never know what will happen when you get on the roads.

Be careful on your trip to AR.  It's awfully hot to be on the road much.  Do you take Hwy. 412 over into Arkansas?  It's a pretty drive. I really like Arkansas.

If you and I could get hold of those doctors we'd fix them, wouldn't we?  She has an appt. Tomorrow with a cardiologist.  Certainly hope there's nothing serious going on.  They made it after her echo cardiogram.

I talked with Patsy tonight and she said her brother had to be rushed to the hospital this morning.  He was having trouble breathing.  They said his oxygen level was 40 so he's in the hospital on oxygen.  She said his wife says he's lost 60 lbs.  He's had a feeding tube for a few weeks.  I'm afraid we'll get bad news before long.

I just let Sheena in and heard Sweet Pea bawl.  She's out by the lot.  I should go out and let her in but she'll be okay til morning- maybe she'll drift off and graze some.

I hope no posting today is good news. Seems like the two of us have enough bad/sad news for all of us. Maybe tomorrow will be better

Sleep well.

Posted: Thursday, July 20, 2017 7:13 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Hi everyone

We are having some hot humid days too.  I have a vacation day today.  Plan on trying to take it easy as I can.  Take a walk at mall maybe.  

I tried blueberries in my salad last night as a couple of you guys suggested and it was good.

Talked with all three of my sisters about the handyman.  They all 3 feel he took advantage of mom's condition.  My one sister said Sara he will take more.  They all feel it is a big signal because he should have talked to me first.  Iris said I'm naive.  I will admit I am.  I still worry that I am thinking wrongly of him and I would not want to do that.  At same time worry that he might try and harm me if I deal with him.  Hard to know what to do.  Have an appt with attorney and will see what he has to say.  I guess I am a little weary with dealing with all of her issues and now I have him to deal with.  She thinks he is the greatest thing since apple butter so she will be irate with me too if I decide he cannot come back on my property.  I hope the good lord will direct my mind to make the right decisions.  Then it will all be ok.  I am not a fighter.  I feel like I will never have peace again.  I know all this will eventually pass but it has went on for 11years already.  My sisters have suggested I move out.  I have thought about it and just let her live in my house til she can't.  I told them though that I am not sure she can live by herself.  I think I am kind of her cover even though she talks big etc.  my one sister feels she is mentally ill and grandiose.  I said well I have felt she is grandiose for a long time.  I tried to explain that all of this is typical dementia behavior.  Grandiose does not cause you to not be able to balance check book.

I have mentioned that I like old dishes.  A guy I work with collects all antiques.   He found me a set of the Pyrex basic color bowls from the 40's.  He found them at a yard sale and said they are in excellent condition.  I don't work with him again til a week from Friday.  I will get them then.  I think he thought I might not want to pay what he paid for them.  He tried to get her to come down on them but he said she was firm.  It was actually a good price.  Would cost me 40 more on eBay plus postage.  I said she new what they were worth.  

Hope everyone has a good day


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