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So Tired- venting
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 6:54 AM
Joined: 3/6/2017
Posts: 759

I don't know how you hands-on caregivers do it. 

It's been a crazy week. I have to bring dad in for a consult with a gastroenterologist later today. Dad has mixed dementia (Alz and Korsakoff's); his lung specialist noted some issues related to gall stones, bile ducts and his liver in a CT scan done for some lung problems. They're probably going to wants to schedule a scope procedure but are going to have to sell me on it. If it can be therapeutic and relieve his belly pain (he's been complaining he has broken ribs for just over a year) I'm in, but I don't want this to cascade just to get more information. 

I also have to swing by the company that supplies my mom's bi-pap machine; she has central sleep apnea so that's not negotiable and the 4 month old one she has keeps cutting out.

Meanwhile, I spent the day in the city with my mother yesterday. She finally had her long-overdue knee replacement surgery. It was postponed because of my dad's cognitive deterioration, then because she developed an auto-immune hepatitis, then canceled because of some minor skin cancer issue in the line of the incision and then put on hold so I could travel to a reunion with my husband's brothers last month. She did really well and was even able to take a couple steps last night when I left her.

On top of all that, my husband's dear older brother passed away Friday. He went in to take his afternoon nap and never woke up. I am so glad my mother insisted we put off her surgery so we could travel to see my brothers-in-law. 

Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 9:03 AM
Joined: 10/21/2016
Posts: 69

You have A LOT going on!  I will say a prayer for peace for you.  You're doing a great job for your family; remember that!!
His Daughter
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 9:48 AM
Joined: 6/25/2014
Posts: 1991

It's perfectly fine to vent.  In fact, I think it's healthy to get this off your chest.  We've all been there and done that, and had times when it seems like it will never get better.  But it will.  Hang in there girl.  Your dad is lucky to have a fierce advocate.
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 10:04 AM
Joined: 8/1/2017
Posts: 127

I agree with others that you are doing a great job as a caregiver.  I'm new to this but becoming aware that helping and caring for a parent/s with AD is ongoing. Venting is at times necessary and totally OK.  I hope you find comfort here knowing others are going through similar things and you aren't alone in feeling tired, frustrated or heartbroken.
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 10:07 AM
Joined: 1/8/2016
Posts: 284

My condolences to you & your husband. What's that saying "when it rains it pours." Or "God doesn't give you more then you can handle." At least something like that. I get what you're saying. We are all in a position that is completely and utterly physically & mentally exhausting. Our life is no longer our own. Our days are filled with doing what needs to be done and it's hard to find joy in anything when your living in this world. Venting is what we have as well as this message board of comrades in the same situation. We know what we have to do, but occasionally we have to have a pity party. Or at least chocolate, retail therapy or mind numbing television.

Keep hanging in there, we're all in the same boat.

Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 1:24 PM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 880

Yes we are and it has a hole in it.
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 4:04 PM
Joined: 3/6/2017
Posts: 759

Thanks for the kind words. 

I really liked dad's new gastroenterologist. He confirmed that dad has quite a bit of gallbladder left and that the wall is calcified and there are stones at this time. He wants to take things very conservatively- no scope for now, we're to try a low-fat diet and check back in a few months. We'll do an MRI as a baseline.

My mother's spirits have dropped. She was hoping to be released today but the PTs nixed it. She's doing remarkably well-  especially for someone who is nearly 80. But tears because she thinks she should be released 24 hours out after a total knee replacement because she's done everything asked of her. And I can't stop by to cheer her up because my BIL's impromptu memorial is at 5pm; they're streaming it for those like us who can't make the trip. She's in the city, it would take over an hour to get there. My niece will stop by, but I still wish I could be in 2 places at once.
Posted: Tuesday, September 12, 2017 7:08 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1594

Tired just reading about it. I do hope you can get some rest.
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