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My mom stopped bathing
Roe224
Posted: Saturday, November 4, 2017 5:46 PM
Joined: 11/4/2017
Posts: 3


My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She currently lives with my father, who is her caretaker. He is slowly losing his patience with her. She hasn't bathed in weeks She used to not go a day without taking a shower.. She tells us she just took a shower, but we know it is not true. She yells at my father when he asks her nicely to clean herself. I have also tried to talk to her and she yells at me too. I don''t know what to do. She sits in her chair all day and either sleeps or watches TV. Any suggestions would help.Thank you
Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, November 4, 2017 7:32 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6040


Welcome to our world, Rose. We're so glad you found us.

What type of dementia was your mom diagnosed with?

Your father is doing his best but it is frustrating for him. Are there financial assests for Assisted Living?  If so, begin looking. Those who have made the move, szy te sooner the better.

There are no Federal nor State regulations, so lli carefully.  Ask under hat conditions be asked to leave.  Find a place with a locked or Memory Care Unit on site.  Look for several scheduled activities daily in all of physical, cognitive and social activities.  Get a written list.  How are residents dressed?  Several sleeping in wheel chairs in the hall?  Odor?  Would she eat the meals?  Check state for violations. Major or minor and how was it corrected.  Ask abut staff training and updating. Do the names Teepa Snow and  Naomi Feil mean anything?

If that is not possible. Is there Adult Day Care?  Hire caregivers.  Watch some Teepa Snow videos with dad. Anything in each that would help? Discuss it with dad and demonstrate by what you do.

 

 
Good luck.  Stay with us.

Roe224
Posted: Saturday, November 4, 2017 9:14 PM
Joined: 11/4/2017
Posts: 3


She is in the beginning stages.  She is not a threat to herself just yet.  My father is able to leave her home for a little bit while he runs errands.  I am not looking to put her in a home.  She isn't that far gone.  I am trying to find ways to get her to clean herself.  I am in the process of looking for an aide to come to her house.  My dad isn't to keen on it.  I am trying to tell him that it will alleviate some of the burden from him.
Mimi S.
Posted: Sunday, November 5, 2017 8:41 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6040


Just a short reply to the: No home, she's not ready yer.

There is a huge controversy over this. Some want their LO to stay home until it's no longer possible, with help, to care for them.

Others, and I'm one, believe that a Well chosen continuing care community is the better choice because care and activities are provided above and beyond what can be provided in the home. Socialization, which is often scarce at home, goes with the residence.  

Showering is not a daily necessity.  Often choosing the best time of day, having a hand held shower head,  possibly covering mirrors will help.    Bribery goes a long way: We'll go for some ice-cream right after your shower.  Do check out showers in Solutions.

The aide is very important. Possibly you can find one that will do the shower and also do planned activities with her. Are there things mom used to do that dad never liked? Perhaps some of these could be adapted for today.

Thanks for replying.


Iris L.
Posted: Sunday, November 5, 2017 11:56 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 14625


There are many threads on the General Caregiver's message board about showering.  Your dad may have to get into the shower with her.  Or it may be time to begin the use of adult baby wipes, which can be purchased in a drugstore or made at home by watching youtube videos.  There is information on the main alz.org website about showering and daily caregiving.  There is a great Spouse/Partner message board if your dad wants to meet with other husbands in his position.  The 36 Hour Day book is a great resource.

Iris L.


ChristopherLevis
Posted: Saturday, December 2, 2017 12:05 AM
Joined: 3/7/2017
Posts: 6


Hi Rose, this generally happens when one is diagnosed with dementia. And it is really very difficult to handle the daily routine of the people suffering from dementia. According to me, you have two options. Either you can choose a home carer to handle her daily routines or else you can opt for communities like dementia care Morris NJ (http://jchcorp.org/dementia-care-morris-county-nj) who provides the proper care of the patient suffering from Alzheimer's  along with the luxury living facilities. Hope this helps you out.
 
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