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Caregivers Who Have Lost Someone
Life after caregiving
Thanks Wendy, finding the new normal takes time. Thank you for asking about my son, he still has his moments and challenges. I was able to support him after the injury and initial recovery before my caregiving increased with my mom. The biggest challenge for me behavior between mom and son. Way too many times I felt like I was on the wrong end between both of them. Couldn’t get a break and at times didn’t shift gears quick enough depending on who I was dealing with and how they reacted. It was really difficult when they both in a mood and at times I couldn’t please either of them. Oh well.
Pam I hear you, I didn’t realize how it wiped me out both physically and mentally. Putting myself first was alwas challenge, maybe something I could and should have done better, not sure. So true that people expect you to pick your life back up and more on. I had a few family members ask/said to me a few weeks after mom passed: so what do you plan on doing now that you have all this time; i guess you’ll be able to do things you haven’t been able to, but the best was I guess you’ll be able to schedule DH knee replacement.
Kay, be kind to yourself right now. I decided not to catch up on life but to find a path that works for me now and do what is best for me. The bond you had and how your feeling is yours.
I don’t know if I’m more tuned in to Alzheimer, but I started noticing MIL demonstrating signs and mentioned it to both of her children my concerns and observations about her safety and need to get forms in order etc. I’ve offered to share knowledge, resources and support, it’s not my place to take over at this time.
For the first time in years I started to reflect back and found it to be painful yet found some peace in knowing I did my best. I know the dementia journey and caregiving changed me forever in many ways (jury is out if for the better or worse).
Organically trying to deal with the grief and finding the new normal, what ever that might be.
It will take some time but things will gradually start to get better. I like the dog in your avatar. If that is yours, you truly have a great non-judgemental companion you can lean on anytime. I have been taking care of my son's dog (can't have a pet in his apartment), and she has been there like a shadow and a great comfort and companion.
My dad had a picture of his Jack Russell in his office with a poem that read:
A friend is not a feller
Who is taken in by sham,
A friend is one who knows your faults
And doesn’t give a darn*.
My son's dog will race me to the door as soon as she hears the keys jingle. Like I've said, she is my little shadow and always my comfort when I'm down. I joked with my son that he will need to find another dog, can't have this one back.