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MISSING MY LOVE
april33
Posted: Thursday, April 5, 2018 9:43 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93


My Dear Husband died the week before Xmas. It feels like he just disappeared into thin air. I cared for him at home for several years and then had to place him in a MC facility.

I visited him every day for two years and put my heart and soul into making his Quality of life the very best that I could. As long as he could still walk I took him out to duck ponds and parks or whatever he could cope with. even as he declined to where he couldn't walk anymore he was still HIM. Always maintained that special personality. The house seems so empty even though he hasn't lived here for two years. It is just that he is nowhere, and that is so hard to wrap my mind around. I try to keep busy but still have too much free time almost like i'm out of a job.

The thought of being alone the rest of my life makes me feel sad too, My family were very good I have no complaints but I seldom here from them they have moved on with their busy lives but I am still here lost in this empty spaceand the person who would have comforted me is gone.

APRIL


ladyzetta
Posted: Friday, April 6, 2018 9:09 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 448


Dear April,

I am so sorry you feel this way. My DH is in MC has been for little over a year. I visit him every other day he seems to be declining very slow. I think when the time comes he is no longer around I will probably feel lost.

You were a good caregiver by making sure he was as happy as he could be for as long as he was alive. I am sure you know you need to live your life now and take care of yourself, I am sure that is what your DH would want you to do. Be happy get involved be a volunteer. I volunteer for Red Cross and it really helps me to know I can be of help to others.

Now is the time for you to take care of yourself. Hugs Zetta 

 


april33
Posted: Friday, April 6, 2018 11:10 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93


Dear Zetta
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I do try to keep busy and volunteer two days a week. However even my best efforts don't keep my loss at a distance all the time .
Thursday I was just having a bad day. Even when they are in a care facility they are still a big part of your life and when they are gone it creates a big void. 

Rocky Mountain Kid
Posted: Saturday, April 14, 2018 11:58 AM
Joined: 6/22/2015
Posts: 84


Hi April,     My Hubby passed away Dec 10, 2017.   I was caring for him until he went into the hospital Nov 26th with a bowel obstruction.  He seemed to be improving then after a week in the hospital he stopped drinking and eating, then gradually stopped talking and responding.  Then he died on his 15th day in the hospital.  I wasn't going to be able to bring him home as I wasn't physically able to care for him anymore so we were looking for as MC facility for him.  I don't have any complaints about his care......he was on Hospice 4 days and they kept him very comfortable.  I feel relieved that he didn't have to go to MC care and I feel he is in a wonderful place now so I am happy for him.......he loved God and had been serving Him for many years.  But I miss him.  My family has been wonderful and they still check on me often and I see some of them often.  I'm  doing more and going more places......but I would just like to be able to talk to him.......to be able to hug him and hold his hand.  He was a wonderful person so I guess I need to spend more time being thankful that he was in my life for 25 years and I do have lots of special memories.   Someone said, "Don't be sad its over, just be thankful it happened!"  My prayers and thoughts are with you.    Elaine S.
Vivilynn
Posted: Monday, April 23, 2018 2:01 AM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 198


Hello April. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I lost mine December 30th. It's still so hard for me to say it. I feel your pain, your grief, your lonliness, and your yearning to be with him once again. At times it doesn't even seem real to me, but sadly it is. I hope you will find peace and healing with each passing day, that is what I pray for every day for myself. Take care,

Vivi


april33
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 9:33 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93


Hi Elaine

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry not to have responded sooner but every time I come on these boards I start crying again, it's as if it forces me to relive the loss and I feel so sad . It sounds as if you have made peace with your husbands passing . I am wishing more peaceful days for you.

April


april33
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 9:50 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 93


Oh Vivi You expressed exactly how I feel I so yearn to have him back.

Sometimes it seems as if he is still here making funny comments in my mind.

I was working out in the back garden and was mentally lamenting to myself that the blue spruce we received as a wedding present looked ratty with lots of dead branches and I could hear him in my mind, chuckling and he said " don't worry about it I never liked it anyway." and I started to laugh because he had wanted to trim off the bottom branches and I was horrified and wouldn't let him. Some days he still feels close but much of the time like he is getting farther and farther away. Try to keep busy I find it helps. find somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis. I you have places you have to go it gets you moving in the morning and breaks up the day.

Hang in there I am sending caring thoughts your way.

April


 
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