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I hate you every day.
This week I won the absolutely not-at-all-coveted I Hate You Every Day Award. Hooray? Can anyone else relate?
Hi LG - love your blog and hope to find more spare time to read more!
My mom has never said, "I hate you everyday" but she has had her moments.
"I'm not your mom" I think has to top my list. If she isn't my mom, WHY am I doing this?
I just have to keep reminding myself it's really not my Real Mom saying that. That was my Other Mom. LOL.
My biggest frustration is my DAD. Mom has had AD for 4+ years and I was told she is at stage 7. Cannot do any ADLs. I moved in with parents at the beginning of March because dad simply can't deal with the increasing care she needs. For me, taking care of my mom is easy (well, other than losing sleep on a more consistent basis). But Dad does NOT have AD - however, he is very set in his ways, hard of hearing, has back pain issues, is not fond of change, I could go on and on. I know my being here is a disruption to his way of doing things, an "invasion" of his space but I also know he appreciates the time and effort I'm investing. I'm sure my Real Mom appreciates me as well - or at least she would, if she knew it.
Isn't your mother just precious? LOL Yes she is, but whew, what a thing to say right?
I remember writing "I hate mom" on something as a kid, making sure to put it out where she would see it. They do so remind me of children sometimes.
Iam new to this group and unfortunately just missed a meeting this morning?
Where do you meet?
Mom was diagnosed two years ago with AD and I need to find some friends for her, social groups, she hates living here because she has no friends and nothing to do. I have signed her up to help in the thrift shop, knitting group, rosary making groug, Rennaissance on the 9th, Bingo with H2U but we go one or two times and she says it is boring for her.
I don't know anything about meeting, as far as I know this is just an online forum. Maybe others know more about any in person meet-ups. But welcome!
Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed your blog too!
I'm the primary caregiver for my MIL and she often tells me, "I thought you were supposed to help me but you are so mean!" Sometimes she knows I'm her daughter-in-law, and at other times I'm just "the help." It's hard. I love her and want the best for her, but she can no longer reason or understand all the "why's" of what I do for her. She gets angry when I just try to help her to the bathroom, get her dressed, bathed, and to a meal. Then she sees me as the bad and unreasonable person. I just get so tired.
Thank you again, for sharing!
Bwahahaha. Keep posting to remind us to visit your blog. My favorite:
With dementia the faster you accept
that there are worse things coming down the road,
the easier it is to gun it over the little speed bumps
and not let 'em ruin your day.
Unless you say otherwise, I'm going to borrow this!!!
LOL...Loved your blog post. So now i'm wondering which is worse?
The "I hate you every day" award or the one my mom has given me...(looking at me in disgust of course)...drum roll...."BOY YOU ARE GETTING FAT!!!!"
I say, "Yep...it's from all the stress this last year!" Or now I find the humor an I stick my butt out and pat it and say to her..."MOM...LOOK...look at my fat butt!" and I chuckle.
Keep in mind, I'm by no means what would be considered a larger person and I've really only gained about 7 lbs. I suppose on my 5' 2" frame that can tend to show.
I think I'll keep my award....I can lose the weight and she will have to come up with another one. Although...I did also get the "I'll never forgive you for this" award a few times!
Romiha, my dad was the same way, and I often think about him checking in on us (he died two years ago) and futzing about how we do things now, and especially about his daughters pets being in the house! He's blowing a fuse about it wherever he's at!
I am sending you much patience. I didn't get to battle out the changes with my dad 'cause he died before I could be of help. So there's that to take some consolation from, especially any time he's giving you some grief.
I tell 'ya, the best strategy my sister and I employed to become better caregivers was to give up being devastated about anything. Being sad and heartbroken all the time like we were at first just dragged us down. If you can let it go, and start enjoying who they are instead of who they were it may be helpful. Everybody is different so my advice may just be talking smack to your situation.
Regardless, I wish you much patience!
I’ve just joined the I hate you club...I used to get the cold shoulder or some other reaction but now I’m hated. I get the daily morning call to remind me of how bad I am for what I have done to her ( my mom). She is in prison and it’s my fault. I’ve stolen her car ( sometimes I did it while she was sleeping). No matter what happens to her it’s always my fault......I feel special!!
We are not alone friends!
Mine is "I need you more than work needs you"
and on the back: "She (the aide) does nothing for me"
You guys gave me such smiles and chuckles all week long with your replies! I wanted to thank you with this post...
Oh my isn't it amazing how they can't wipe their bums but can throw together an insult that cuts to the core?
My mom told me once, as she tried to storm out the yard gate and I was attempting to stop her - "I used to love you, but not any more!" and similarly, "I used to think you were nice but now I know ......" insert ominous knowing glare...