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8 months today
Posted: Thursday, September 27, 2018 9:02 PM
Joined: 12/13/2013
Posts: 164

It's been 8 months, today, since my Mike was released from his hell. I miss him so incredibly bad but I know it's the BEFORE Mike that I miss, not the Mike that was with me the last five years. 

Our son, now 15, started high school this year and is blossoming into the man I know his father would have been proud of. He just shaved, for the first time, tonight. I had to teach him and almost broke down doing it. Mike was supposed to be here for this! 

Right now I'm working three jobs, caring for the house and TRYING to get my eldest two off their butts and OUT of my house. They aren't leaving even though I've all but physically kicked them out. I'm going bald, literally. A HUGE patch of hair on my right side is gone and the doctors don't know why. Stress I'm thinking and I'm SERIOUSLY thinking of just shaving it bald, starting over again. SIGH.

dutiful deb
Posted: Friday, September 28, 2018 12:36 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1902

Sending hugs, flowermama. I used to post more on the caregiver board, but I read the spouse/partner posts also and remember you from there.  When I began to feel somehow distanced from what was going on in those forums, and after my mom passed away, I found a new sense of connection here on this board.  

I am sorry for your loss and all you are going through. I personally feel like I am grieving over more than the loss of my mom, as I have changes and problems in my relationship with adult children, and things going on with my MIL and husband. 

And my hair is falling out, too. My hair does not grow fast, and now that it's a decent length, I am facing getting it cut short again because I'm tired of the long strands falling out everywhere. 

Here's to a collective "sigh".  Bless us all!

Posted: Friday, September 28, 2018 5:45 PM
Joined: 11/9/2017
Posts: 305

Let it grow and let it fall! My hair is everywhere. I'm shedding like a long haired cat in summer. I go on search and destroy for split ends. It's accidentally layered. 

Stress is a huge culprit in hair loss. When my mom was sick I ignored my hair, and it grew, and fell, and now the back is getting back to the place it was when I never should have cut it. It's so much harder to grow with age. But it seems a symbol to me, of my family, of my black haired grandmothers.  

Flowermama shame on your older boys for not being more helpful. I realize they are young. Perhaps they are not handling the loss well?

Deb it is strange to read the posts on the caregivers' forums, and so painful. Sometimes I post there, probably not very tactfully, hoping as one poster put it, to stop others from running straight into an iceberg. 

Posted: Saturday, September 29, 2018 8:32 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

It's so great you posted an update on how you are doing and I'm so proud that you are teaching your son and allowing him to blossom into a fine young man. Perhaps if you shared that the stress of trying to get the older sons on their feet was causing you to lose your hair, they might listen. The other thought I had was that it could be a side effect of a medication, though you would have to look carefully at any or all of your medications to really thoroughly look into that. Short hairdos are very fashionable these days, and I think there is also a natural process of thinning that occurs, but it doesn't sound like that from your description. Sorry about the three jobs and the stress. Wish it could be easier for you.
Posted: Saturday, September 29, 2018 8:36 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

dolor, which one is you in the photo? I'm guessing far right? Ha about the reading of the caregiver posts and the tact necessary even when you see someone ready to plow into an iceberg. I guess it's a certain skill set. I've been mostly avoiding it, but every once in a while, I do try.
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