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Cancelling social commitments
FredBelanger
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2018 1:35 PM
Joined: 6/3/2018
Posts: 2


I've been diagnosed with MCI for a couple of years now. I'm staying pretty static as far as progression goes but lately I have a a propensity to back off from commitments I've made to others.

An example:
I volunteer at a local hospital to be greeter at the main entrance. A couple of times now I just didn't show up....like today. I feel very guilty, and rightfully so. I'll later call and apologize. My coordinator there is aware of my MCI and is very understanding but I still feel guilty.

To get to the point, I wonder if this behavior is connected at all to MCI or am I just looking for a scapegoat.

Thanks for reading.

Fred Belanger


Iris L.
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2018 3:52 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 15717


Welcome, Fred.  I feel overwhelmed at times by committments, but usually I am able to attend.  I try to avoid committments that make too many demands.  I think I would like to be a greeter at a hospital.  Are you getting enough sleep?  


Iris L.


Mimi S.
Posted: Tuesday, October 23, 2018 5:19 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6926


Hi Fred,

Welcome to our group.  We're so glad you found us.

Hopefully you have the type of MCI that does not progress, or does so very slowly.

Socialization, such as you get as a greeter, is important.  Only you can decide what is too uch.  Do you need to cut down on how often you sign up for?

I don't know you but would hope you do show up for what you signed up for. or at least, try calling before you are due, so they know you won't be there.


FredBelanger
Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2018 5:50 PM
Joined: 6/3/2018
Posts: 2


Thanks for the responses.

 Actually I did call the volunteer coordinator and apologized. We had a good conversation and it resulted in my taking a respite for a week or two. There are issues at home to get resolved first. She told me that there are other volunteer positions that she thinks would be more to my liking. I greatly appreciate her patience and understanding.

Onward and Upward!


III%
Posted: Tuesday, January 1, 2019 7:09 PM
Joined: 3/3/2017
Posts: 2


Hi, my name is Julie. I have experienced exactly what your speaking of. I’ve been unable to follow through on commitments for atleast a year now and know exactly the feeling of guilt. I finally just accepted, its better if I Try to avoid commitments if possible for this reason. I can’t say it’s improved, instead I just learned to accept it and work around.
Mimi S.
Posted: Wednesday, January 2, 2019 11:21 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6926


Hi III,

Perhaps you can be more selective in your social commitments?  Being socially active is one of the components of what several of us PWD call Best Practices. It is important that we intefact with other folks on a daily basis. This lack in my own life, plus  my fraility led to my current residence in an ALF. 


Juniper1
Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2019 11:31 AM
Joined: 12/4/2018
Posts: 1


Mimi S. wrote:

Hi III,

Perhaps you can be more selective in your social commitments?  Being socially active is one of the components of what several of us PWD call Best Practices. It is important that we intefact with other folks on a daily basis. This lack in my own life, plus  my fraility led to my current residence in an ALF. 



Gr8hnd
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 4:03 PM
Joined: 9/16/2015
Posts: 3


If it’s okay for a caregiver/spouse to comment, my husband had MCI for a number of years. He did exactly what the poster is doing. He said he feared being “found out” and judged by others who once knew him as “smart.”  I understood his trepidation, as I’ve thought those with MCI or AD are often prejudged without giving them any opportunities beforehand. 

Our local chapter offers a social group for those with earlier stage AD or MCI and a spouse or friend where everyone feels safe to be themselves.  Maybe your chapter has something along those lines where you can do some trial runs.  Best of luck.  

 


HildeRN
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2019 6:47 AM
Joined: 2/13/2019
Posts: 1


Hello, I was diagnosed with MCI a little over two years ago, have recently noticed that I am getting more and more forgetful, my I phone has become my second brain, if it’s not scheduled in it,  it doesn’t happen. Using clock timer on it as reminder to do anything, take pills, eat breakfast, take shower, when to get ready for an appt. Live with a wonderfully supportive husband who does most of household chores and is very protective of me. I was a very independent, active, strong minded, people loving person, RN for over 30 years, loved my job and was very good at it. Over the years I worked with Dementia patients in various stages so I know the possible future progression of this stage I am in. Father died from dementia at 78,and it runs very strongly I n his immediate relatives, mother had very early stages when she died at 89. . Now, I avoid everyone except for my very closest friends and family, get extremely anxious in large groups, going to stores, restaurants  etc. Anxiety is very high in the morning,  so take Diazepam as prescribed by MD with some relief. but on most  days I feel on edge or floating on a cloud all day until late afternoon when I finally feel present. My  medical problems have not helped matters, every day I wish for health, and wish that all I had to worry about was my memory decline without any physical ailments. I attend a local early stage support group run by local Alz chapter once a month with my husband, but find that it’s not enough. Hopefully I can establish connection with others with MCI diagnosis thru this site.
Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2019 8:36 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 15717


Welcome Hilde.  I too, have had a diagnosis of cognitive impairment not otherwise specified since December 2008.  I have other medical diagnoses, including systemic lupus, hypertension, and sleep apnea.  I have learned what to do for myself from the members here.  The first step was following Best Practices, which are lifestyle habits that improve functioning and may prolong the early stages.  In my case, Best Practices has been beneficial.  

 

I also learned about dealing with anxiety, which paralyzed me for some time.  Alan in Colorado, one of our emeritus members, who was himself a psychologist, told us that stress and anxiety reduce our cognition by half.  We have to learn to use whatever stress-reduction methods we have to calm and strengthen ourselves.  In my own case, I used deep breathing.  Many medications used as anxiolytics actually worsen memory and cognition.

 

I hope you keep posting.  Feel free to begin your own thread by clicking on "Add Topic" on the main I Have Alzheimer's page, then follow the prompts.

 

Iris L.


bjones2558
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2019 1:34 PM
Joined: 7/16/2013
Posts: 10


I know exactly what you are saying. It is hard for me to

attend social events, even those involving family. I think 

it may have to do with my problems with communication

and continued fear of rejection by people. I have lost a lot

of friends due to my Alzheimer’s. There are a lot of family

members who also don’t talk to me. You are not alone!

Barb


Smilesyourway
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2019 8:41 PM
Joined: 1/11/2019
Posts: 60


Hi HildeRN

First of all, welcome!  I am new to the sight as well, but have met some REALLY cool people. We all seem to have so much in common.  Floating on a cloud, nix on stores and restuarants, close friends and family only, anxiety, depression, transitioning to new locations to live, fear of the future and on and on. 

The great thing about this sight is sharing, supporting, encouraging, educating and listening. 

Cheers,

Smiles


 
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