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My question is ...
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 7:33 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

What would I give for one more day of  my loved ones alive and well? I know it’s not going to happen! I am not delusional. Perhaps I just miss them and wish them well. Perhaps they wish me well too! Happy Halloween! Or, Day of the Dead. Sigh. Ok! What would I give? Almost anything........ oh, I miss them so.....
A losing hand.
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 8:32 PM
Joined: 1/16/2013
Posts: 400

  I think we all understand.

We can close our eyes, to the things we don't want  to see,

but we can't close our heart to the things we don't want to feel.

   Good luck. 

Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 10:40 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2366

I sure miss mine,too,   If I had them back for a day I would be devastated knowing they were leaving. I don't think I want to do that again. Sending a hug.
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 11:27 PM
Joined: 5/2/2014
Posts: 760

I miss both my parents. I would have loved to have had more time with both of them. I was fortunate that my Dad lived to 81 and my mom to 87 but I sure wish it would have been longer. I loved both my parents so much and was so blessed to have them but it still hurts that they are gone. Sending hugs to you all.
Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2018 4:39 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

Last year my mom was handing out candy on Halloween. The trick or treaters would enter the house and she gave them big handfuls of chocolate. This year, we turned off the lights. The neighbors walked up with their young children and I found apples from the Farmer's Market to give to the children, but we had no candy. We went to sleep after the News. Three years ago, my dad was there to hand out candy. They never decorated their house, but they did like greeting the young folks. 

Thank you for your understanding, A losing hand, MissHer and Tink. Sorry for my pity party. Amazing how a grown mature experienced person (the "mother" of my Department at school) who was dead set on independence all her life could be so pathetic about her parents.

Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2018 6:49 AM
Joined: 1/8/2016
Posts: 365

I'm right there with you and wish for a moment to talk to my parents healthy & sound. That's the one thing about this disease that sucks. My mom left this earth without us having a conversation that was understood. It's going to be 10 months and I'm still waiting for her to come into my dreams & just say I understand and I'm ok.

Learning to live without our parents is not easy. And, it would be nice to have them for one more day, but even that would not be enough.

So, in the meantime life goes on and we're still here holding on to our LO's in our hearts.

Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2018 7:19 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 256

Hi MP!  You are certainly not pathetic.  You simply miss your parents and that is perfectly normal.  Coming on 5 months since I lost mom and I would give anything just to have one more conversation with her (but it would need to by my original mom, not the one that dementia/fate had dealt me). I have been writing her letters/poems frequently.  It does help while I'm doing it but knowing they will go unread/unanswered just makes me sad.  Lifting you up my friend with love and hugs. We have to be strong for eachother this holiday season.  I know I will need you all to get through this.
xoxoxoxo -Kat

Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2018 5:33 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20920

I don't think it's a pity party at all. We miss our loved ones. It would be horrible sad if we did not, right?

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I heave a  huge sigh, my head falls to my chest and tears run down my face.

I think I have "moved on" but realize that missing is always going to be a part of my life.

Posted: Sunday, November 4, 2018 8:47 PM
Joined: 6/10/2018
Posts: 53

I’m right there with you, too. Just one more walk by the pond. One more talk about life. One more hug. One more chance to say, “I love you, Mom.” 

I know she doesn’t want me—a grown woman with a daughter of my own— feeling this way. I want my mama!! And yet I do. 

We hid from the kids last year when mom was here. I didn’t want her to be confused or nervous. This year we DID give out candy, donned wigs, and had scary movies playing in the background. But in the back of that background was the anniversary...she had just moved in. 

Yea, we are supposed to miss our parents...that’s why we cared for them and gave them the end of life care only the best daughters or sons could. It still hurts. I want to be one of those kids with a parent there watching me go to the door, having my back. Even with mom as forgetful as she was, she could always tell when I didn’t feel well. 

I don’t know what else to say. It’s been a lot tougher than I thought it would be. 

Posted: Monday, November 5, 2018 7:07 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 256

Hi Sheen:

I hear you loud and clear.  I knew it was going to be very difficult losing my mother but I never dreamed it would be THIS difficult.  I could never have foreseen this. Love and hugs to you.....


Posted: Monday, November 5, 2018 12:16 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

I wish more than anything, one visit with my mom, dad and grandmother.  I was thinking of seeing a medium, psychic.  I don't know if those people are legit, but I want more than anything to have my mom and dad talk to me and I to them, one last time.
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