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Caregivers Who Have Lost Someone
Fly me up to where you are
Last night I had a most vivid and unusual dream. Perhaps it was a visitation that the Hospice care nurse had foretold a year ago the morning that my beloved Anne passed; that she would visit me in a dream.
This experience was like no other. I was dreaming of a time when Anne got lost at a mall and I was trying to describe her to the officer. While explaining things about her, Anne suddenly appeared off in my periphery, and so I turned to see her head on. She looked to be finely dressed and 15 or so years younger. She paused and smiled, then turned away and began walking briskly down a long empty hallway. I caught up with her, took her hand, she turned and we embraced. As suddenly as she had appeared, she vanished. The hallway was empty.
That dream has been with me all day. Then this evening I was looking for something totally unrelated on YouTube. In my search I stumbled across some music videos, so I decided to take a break and watch one... maybe two.
Now I am not one to believe in chance, but instead, I believe that sometimes things do happen for a reason and they are connected. I believe by my faith that we are connected on many different plains with things we know, and things yet to be seen. I can't explain it, but this was the third video:
jb, thanks for the link. That was beautiful. I very much believe in those who have passed visiting us whether it is in a dream or even while we are awake. For the first 3 months after my mom passed I felt she was with me so often it was a bit scary. I too feel we are very much connected to our loved ones and depending on how sensitive we are and how receptive we are to their signs is how they come through to us.
I was back at my childhood home last month to start making arrangements for the sale, etc. While we were in town, my daughter and I went to visit the cemetery. On our way there we got lost and ended up at a McDonald's for a quick lunch. I felt a strong presence in the McDonald's and realized I was on the same street where my father had owned a business for 30+ years. I couldn't recall his old address until it popped into my head. While we were eating, I recalled my father telling me that his sister, BIL and him used to have their best business meetings at McDonald's. I knew we were in that one. I had never been there before by the way.
When his old address popped into my head, it turns out that it was only 2 blocks away. I had not seen my father's building in 50 years. He passed 12 years ago and a few years before he passed, he made arrangements to sell his business and do a specific type of donation of the assets where he saved on his taxes and was set up with a lifetime income for both mom and dad. Well, that income is what helped me take care of my mom for years. I think dad was with me and my daughter that day. I feel as if he was leading us around and showing us his old area.
I drove to the address I recalled and I wasn't sure at first if this building was it. When I was a kid, I was only there a couple of times. The strange thing was there were these ugly, large dusk to dawn lamps on the side of the building and that is how I knew. My parents home has two of these ugly lamps that my dad put up over the garage and in the backyard. I cried a little, took some photos and realized this would be the last time I would be there. In fact, the only reason I was there was because we got lost (and/or someone wanted us to be there).
I miss my parents, but its obvious to me they are around.
Yep, that was a visit for sure.
Often they include asking for help in finding someone, interestingly.
I'm so happy for you.
I enjoyed your reading about your experience. Yes, sometimes seemingly disjointed events are actually connected. In your case, you got lost, wound up at McDonalds felt a presence, remembered an address and then drove there... to your dad's building. Yep, perhaps someone wanted you to be there.
I sort of felt the same way about stumbling across that song by Josh Groban. I wasn't looking for it. I was actually doing research on an unrelated topic. But there it was, way down in the list of search results. What is that doing there? I like Josh Groban but never heard that song before. I wasn't looking for any musical diversion, I was on a mission. But for some reason I felt compelled to click on it. I was stunned by the lyrics because it put to rest so many of the feelings, questions, and doubts that I had been wrestling with all day about my dream. Perhaps that was a second message for me and someone wanted me to hear it.
jb; thank you for sharing your experience and for that beautiful piece of music; it touched me deeply.
My beloved brother had died in his 40's quite a few years ago. I am a fact based person and though I have a sense of whimsy, I am not taken with flights of fancy. But . . .
One day about two years or so ago, I was working on a document on my laptop where I often do; on top of the guest room bed where I will not be disturbed.
Suddenly, I felt a presence. I looked up and there was my brother Michael in the doorway to the room. He was his wearing usual type of shirt and pants. I just sat there . . . he said to me, "I had to come; I had to see you but they won't let me stay. I must go now because they won't let me stay; but I had to see you again." Then he was gone.
Well . . . in all probability I was in that awake dream state right before falling asleep; but it was SO real. I do know that if he had actually been there and I was in full support of my faculties I would have instantly risen to go to him and would have called out his name. But that did not happen.
Still; why such a happening long after his death and in such a manner with those particular words. Heaven only knows.
Hi Jo. What a wonderful thing for you to have seen your brother like that. Whether you were asleep or awake, you got to see him once more for whatever reason and I'm so happy for you. There is no rhyme or reason to these signs so just take them as they come and cherish them. Happy Thanksgiving!!
Thank you for providing the link to the song, I'm at work and my eyes are misting. I ask my parents every night for a visit, even if in a dream. Such a longing to see them again, one last hug, one last kiss on the cheek, one last I love you.
Those dreams are gifts I believe from our loved ones. Sometimes I think this is how they manage to visit us. I wait for those dreams. I've had some not so good, and some where I feel the warmth of a hug and I don't want to wake up.
Love does endure and is strong to break through anything, even death, even through Alzheimer's.
Peace everyone in your heart, for you have loved those who needed it and you didn't turn away, you held your loved ones up.
Delayed reply here, but I have thought about this post since the day I read it. Oddly, I had a dread the night before I read this ... it was a good one. I think just a visit, if you will, an “ I’m okay, and you, daughter, kept me safe...I want you to be okay now. ” That sort of thing.
Then as someone said, there are the “not-so-good” dreams, like I woke up having today. It was my mother on the phone calling me from a hospital to ask me - a RN - what was going on. “Why do I need this procedure?,” she asked. But I never left her along or took her to a hospital- not once, not after I knew she was unable to live alone. So in my dream I reassured her and she answered, “Oh, okay.” Then she sounded fine and I woke up.
She trusted me, and I did everything I could - successfully- to keep her out of hospitals and the delirium thet can go along with being in them. .
Maybe it’s just normal: I miss her. The message wasn’t clear, but I think a part of me still worries about her, even though she had left this world. Why a phone call in my dream? Not actually a visit?
Later on my afternoon walk with one of me daughters we both saw the back of a lady on the hike and bike trail with the same hair, posture, and build as mom. We looked at each other, looked back and the woman had disappeared into the trails.
I told my youngest daughter I’m going through a phase where I want these things to be messages, that I want to believe in magic. I do believe— something. Yes, dreams are part subconscious, part “portal.” My mom breezing by on the hike and bike trail? Coincidence. She wouldn’t have needed that backpack!!
I’m nervous for our first Christmas without her, first New Year’s serving the traditional black-eyed peas without her, scared of going forward for the rest of my own life without hearing her voice on the phone again. Afraid of looking at photos but never holding her hand again.
Afraid the dreams will stop, afraid they won’t.
John, I love hearing of these dreams and stories.
Dr Oz interviewed two ladies who had died and come back (I believe, didn't see it from the beginning) on his show yesterday. I know from reading accounts that these stories almost always involve a bright tunnel/hallway/passageway, in which they meet beckoning loved ones. Do you interpret your dream that way? They were told they had to go back, but maybe Ann turning from you was her way of saying that.
These ladies wanted to assure those who have lost loved ones that "your connection to them is never lost." They can feel what you feel, and know when you are troubled or in danger. These are especially the times they may try to reach out to you, to help/assure or try to keep you safe. We need to always try to be receptive.
Yes. I recall the tunnel, it was like a long hallway but I don't recall
there being any doors or exit at the end. And that is what made her
vanishing so perplexing. One moment she was there and the next she
turned and simply vanished.
My grandmother passed away when I was a young teenager. I was very close to her. She was a devout woman teaching me about God and often talking about the church and several ministers in our family back in the old country. I suppose she was the source of much of my spiritual education. She strongly believed in an afterlife. I also believe she visited me shortly after her death. I believe that she was my guardian angle and protected me from danger. As a young and somewhat daring individual, I somehow survived a couple events I shouldn't have.
I know there are many non believers here but I am not one of them. I believe there are many things that happen around us that we simply do not comprehend, and things that are connected and yet seem only to be an odd coincidence.
As an illustration I offer this. My middle sister was always my dad's favorite. Shortly after my dad passed away, I believe he visited my sister in a rather unconventional way. She confided in me a story about her being awakened in the middle of the night, hearing my dad call out her name several times. She got up and ran to the top of the stairs in the foyer where she discovered the front door wide open. It was February, and the wind was quite cold. This happened almost fifty years ago.
As far as I know she never shared this story with my oldest sister before. She pretty much kept it between her and myself. But about a year ago she was reminiscing with my oldest sister. We both remembered that my oldest sister seemed to linger at my dad's casket saying her final farewell before they closed it. My middle sister had a better view from where she was sitting than I did. Remembering this moment, she asked her what she was doing with with dad's suit breast pocket, wondering if it was wrinkled or something was wrong with his handkerchief; it always bothered her a little. My oldest sister (without skipping a beat) replied that she put her spare house key in his breast pocket!
Connected? I believe they were.
Great story John...I'm a believer too. Here's one for you:
My DW's younger brother Steve was always very close to his uncle Gary. I never got to know Gary well but he was a uniquely fascinating individual. Over the years, he & Steve formed a strong bond and had many "adventures" together.
One night, around age 15, Steve had a very vivid dream in which uncle Gary woke him up and said "Climb on my back, Steve, I'm going to take you flying." He obliged him and they flew, Superman style, out his window & away from his home, with him clearly recognizing his surroundings. They visited many places where he and Gary had shared special moments...never landing, just flyovers. Mostly beach & bay scenes where they fished & swam together. It was an intensely happy dream. He awoke the next morning with a clear memory of it (except for getting back home). He soon learned Gary died in his sleep that night.
I shared that one once before somewhere here on the forums.