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Looking for momma
Posted: Wednesday, January 2, 2019 4:40 PM
Joined: 4/10/2017
Posts: 132

A new year has begun without my precious momma. Tomorrow will be seven months since momma went to the Lord. Seems like a lifetime. At times, I find myself thinking I can go to her bedroom and she will still be there. I miss momma so much. We had a beautiful relationship. When I think of momma, all I see is a gorgeous smile. I have so much love for her. Momma loved to sew for my sisters and me for Christmas. This Christmas I knew it was going to hard for us. I carried in momma’s tradition by sewing for them. I’m not the best seamstress as momma but all I felt was her guidance as I was seeing. At the moment, I’m finishing the family tree blanket we had started three years ago. We couldn’t sew any longer because of the circumstances. I don’t know why I have picked up sewing. Momma has so much sewing that I want to finish for her. I usually sew early morning or at night before I go to bed. I’m off right now for Christmas break. My first without momma. One of the toughest things I’ve had to do. I just break down  and have a good cry. I know momma was sick and wasn’t living anymore. Just wasn’t her anymore. Anyway, thank you for listening. There are just days that I can’t wrap my arms around momma being gone. She’s truly gone. 

Take care,


Posted: Wednesday, January 2, 2019 6:28 PM
Joined: 1/8/2016
Posts: 365


It's very sweet that you are carrying on your mom's love of sewing. I can just see her looking over your shoulder and being so proud of you.

Carrying on without them is so very difficult. But, we are here and we must continue.

Warm wishes and prayers for strength while you heal.


Posted: Thursday, January 3, 2019 9:21 AM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5214

Gina, sorry to hear you are hurting. The holidays are a difficult time for those of us you have lost someone we dearly love. You and your mother had such a beautiful relationship. I am always in awe by your words of love for your mother.She (and you) must have a beautiful soul.

 Have you seen the animation movie, Coco? It was heartwarming- and the gist of it was that as long as we remember our LOs, they are "alive".

 I too have kept a tradition that my mother used to do for her family during New Years. She would always make certain Japanese foods at New Years and family and friends were invited to partake of the feast. I have been doing it for years now and I learn a new dish once in awhile. I'll never be as good a cook as my mother-she did it so effortlessly-but I'll try to keep this beloved tradition alive.

I lost my father, I know the heart will never recover from such a loss as losing a parent, but our days can be full of joy again, especially if we see death for an elderly parent as a natural step in life. Take care and hope your life is otherwise on the up trend.

Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2019 12:00 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

Hi, Gina, I love it that you sewed in memory of your mother. This is such an eloquent gesture. We miss our moms and I weep for you. I also wish for my mom's gaze, her loving presence. Her unconditional acceptance. Now I have to search for this elsewhere or in my memory of her. How rare it is! How did I not know this prior! How could I have gone through my life not knowing?
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