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Doctor Appointments and Anxiety
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 6:09 PM
Joined: 9/2/2018
Posts: 3

It's at the point where my wife has too much anxiety and agitation to go to necessary appointments with any of her doctors. Both the trip to the appointment and the time
spent in the waiting room is overwhelming for her.   I'm trying to keep her at home for
as long as possible but if I can't get her to appointments, is it time to consider placement
or is there anything else I can do?
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 7:34 PM
Joined: 5/16/2017
Posts: 320

When I placed mom at AL and then MC where they had the doctors visit there, it made our lives 10x easier.   I would never place anywhere they did not have a visiting medical team
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 7:37 PM
Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 23

Hi, TwoHearts,

Our doctor just prescribed alprazolam, a mild anti-anxiety for us to use for events like appointments or family gatherings. We haven't tried it yet, but I sure hope it will help.

Also, when we go to an appointment, I sign in and let DH wait in the car or out in the hall until they call us. Waiting rooms, especially those with a TV, are very anxiety provoking for him. I have found people to be very cooperative when I ask to turn the TV down, or if we can wait in a quieter spot. 

I noticed a post on this forum titled 'Lorazapam for anxiety -- take at night?' which you might find helpful. 

Best of luck to you,


NC caregiver
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 7:53 PM
Joined: 2/7/2018
Posts: 856

You may want to contact her doctors office by phone or Internet & explain the issue.  Perhaps they can order home visits . My understanding is Medicare now has some type of care at home but I'm not up to date on the details. Many hospice organizations have a palliative care option & make home visits . That is my plan for when Mom can't go out to the doctor.   I do schedule Mom's appointments at 1 or 2 which is her best time of day for functioning & mood . 

caregiving daughter
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 8:35 PM
Joined: 11/27/2012
Posts: 2022

I just wanted to say I understand. Some of the specialist waiting times were pretty unbelievable. Maybe over an hour waiting for a rheumatologist. The thought of going to see the eye doctor made me so nervous--huge wait plus moving from room to room over a two hour period. I did have some phone conversations, including heart doctor, on do we really need these visits. I have heard of concierge doctors that visit but the concept is still pretty new.
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 8:56 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16762

I am just remembering that my husband had a delightful time at two out of town weddings with a xxanax.
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 8:59 PM
Joined: 1/25/2018
Posts: 452

I would certainly talk to your primary care doc to see how much of the medical care can be consolidated without the need for specialists. I sometimes think the specialists are just lonely and insist on an every three month appointment just to feel important. We dropped out geri-psyc, rheumatologist, and neurologist. Our primary care picked up the proscriptions and only insists on seeing my DW once every 6 mos. unless some new need arises.  It may help that I'm an RN and can monitor her condition with a more clinical eye. Honestly, ask yourself what benefit is being gained from these visits that can't be managed in much fewer, much quicker appointments. Seeing a doc to reorder prescriptions whose dose and frequency hasn't changed in a year or two is just needless stress for the AD patient.
Posted: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 9:18 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 594

Markus8174 wrote:

 Seeing a doc to reorder prescriptions whose dose and frequency hasn't changed in a year or two is just needless stress for the AD patient.

Frequently, depending on the type of med, this is an insurance requirement. It’s called “facetime” with the patient. Especially for pain meds. Many Medicare prescription drug plans have this requirement.

Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 4:27 AM
Joined: 1/25/2018
Posts: 452

caring- My point was you don't need a specialist to continue a prescription that is stable. My DW at the peak of her doctoring would have an appointment with 2-3 doctors every month with no change in treatment plan or medication. Sure, pain management is required to see patients at least every 3 months, but what purpose was served by my DW seeing her geri-psyc every 6-8 weeks when he admitted we were no likely to make any further changes in treatment unless something new cropped up. Our PCP writes almost all of our prescriptions. My DW likes her and trusts her, and our care is better coordinated, less stressful, and cheaper.
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 11:59 AM
Joined: 1/10/2019
Posts: 1

Although it's expensive, and it might not be in your area, but concierge physicians come to you.  I'd google it for your area.  It's a great option.
Rescue mom
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 1:17 PM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 548

Lol kind of....DH is OK at doc appointments (long waits can be a problem). I myself am the one having heart tremors and anxiety, with what it takes to get him dressed, ready and in the car for anything with a set start time.

More seriously, more and more docs will come to the house. Sometimes they call themselves “concierge” doctors, and sometimes something else, but as someone else said, they are becoming easier to find. They usually charge a little more, but not as much as you may think, and not as much as in the past.

Posted: Saturday, January 12, 2019 11:18 AM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 225

So sorry you’re going through this stress with your wife; seroquel and rispradal helped my Mom with anxiety; Xanax and other benzodiazepines can greatly affect balance and coordination.

  Yes, this sounds like the time to start shopping for long term care ( memory care) placement. Even if  she has long term care insurance, you will usually need to pay for about three months first before benefits will begin to pay.  Does she need help dressing and bathing, and with walking or eating? Hands_ on assistance with three out of five activities of daily living is usually a requirement for Medicare or long term care insurance to start paying.  

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