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Sun downing- Dr Jekyll and Hyde- biting, kicking,hitting oh my!
Tinie27
Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2019 11:20 PM
Joined: 2/1/2019
Posts: 13


Tonight was really rough, probably the worst so far... She tried biting, hitting and kicking me tonight all while getting ready for bed. She willingly wanted to get ready to go to bed, then she became irate... 

I don't know if I can do this... I don't,  myself want to wake up tomorrow.  

Nights are waaaayyy too short, I'm exhausted! #Help


Mike&BrendaTX
Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2019 11:25 PM
Joined: 7/10/2017
Posts: 456


Tinie27,

As I've suggested several times on this board, a couple of melatonin gummies before bed worked wonders with my wife.  We used to have 3-hour go-rounds every night before I could get her into bed.  With melatonin, no more sundowning, no more fights, and easy to get her to bed.  To me it's a miracle, but others say it doesn't work for everyone.  But it's cheap and available in grocery stores, so it should be worth a try.

Mike


ruthmendez
Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2019 11:32 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 1860


Hi Tinie. I read your other thread.  This really is not something for someone to do all on their own, especially with someone who is very difficult to handle.  

Don't expect that if you tell your family you cannot do this on your own, that any one of them will take this on and feel any different.  

You need to tell them.  Your life is important.  It really is not a great thing to leave everything behind to fully take this on. 

My question to you is:  How long do you expect this to last?  How many years are you willing to give up?

Think about this, and talk with your family.  There is no shame, because your life is very important.


MacyRose
Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2019 11:33 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 3849


Are you in a major city?   Call 911 and ask for a geriatric psychiatric evaluation.  The way this normally works in the US is the police come and take the patient to the hospital.  They are admitted through the ER into a Geriatric Psychiatric ward where either a neurologist or psychiatrist will work to stabilize the patient.
Acoxe3
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 12:20 AM
Joined: 2/9/2019
Posts: 84


This is all good advice from people who have been where you are. You have to get some professional help now.  As it’s been said, PLEASE don’t feel any shame about needing help.  If your mom had broken her leg or been in a car accident,  it’d be easier to see that help was needed.  Well, your mom’s brain is broken, no less of a medical problem.  Call professionals RIGHT AWAY. You are in emergent crisis and you two need some help.  Something prompted you to share on this site; a lifeline has been thrown your way.   Grab it and hang on for dear life!   We love you.
NC caregiver
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 5:17 AM
Joined: 2/7/2018
Posts: 846


What stage were you at when she started biting & hitting?  Wonder if there is a trigger that you could avoid or if she might be in pain.  Teepa Snow videos on You Tube emphasize staying in front & at eye level since they develop tunnel vision . I highly recommend her videos.     If she doesn't want to change clothes I say just dress her comfortably & then let her sleep in them . Change during her good time of day .  If the agitation is new she may have UTI . 

DDefinitely it sounds like you need some rest.  I hope you can get some help soon . 


Tinie27
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 10:52 AM
Joined: 2/1/2019
Posts: 13


Love Teepa Snow! Thanks for the advice! We're getting her checked out in ER.
Tinie27
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 2:23 PM
Joined: 2/1/2019
Posts: 13


My Family and I decided it will be best for both of us for her to be placed in a home. It's hard feeling like I'm giving up on her but I need to listen to myself and what I'm saying to myself ... Its ok if its too much, I tried.
Tinie27
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 2:25 PM
Joined: 2/1/2019
Posts: 13


In ER, waiting for her transport to a hospital bed until more permanent placement.  Caseworker is going to work with us on this process..
ruthmendez
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 2:28 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 1860


Oh thank goodness. We were getting worried for you.  Hopefully everything will be alright and you and your family hang in there.  Keep us posted.  Take good care of yourself.
ddm716
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 6:34 PM
Joined: 2/8/2019
Posts: 5


Thanks for sharing your situation. I see this type of behavior in our future.  Built appears my mom is getting worse moth by month.
NC caregiver
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 8:36 PM
Joined: 2/7/2018
Posts: 846


I hope everything falls into place for you.  Let us know how you are doing once you get settled .
Acoxe3
Posted: Monday, February 11, 2019 11:09 PM
Joined: 2/9/2019
Posts: 84


I am SO glad for you, Tinie. This doesn’t make the disease go away, but it helps to have others share this very heavy burden. 

Keep checking in—we are always here for you.

Praying. . .


LicketyGlitz
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2019 2:15 PM
Joined: 2/3/2018
Posts: 303


Hey Tinie, whatever you and your family finally decide, Mom's geriatric psych doctor gave us a prescription for mirtazapine and it did wonders for helping Mom sleep for a full-night. That may be useful whether she's at home or you've decided on a memory care arrangement.

Our Mom just started the rage age in January, and we too have times when she's ready to do something, like go to bed or potty, then suddenly she's a screaming meany at us! It's been difficult for us to adjust fast enough to keep up with this new (to her) dementia manifestation so I feel for 'ya. We have now added seroquel to her daily pills, a low dose, and it seems to be helping, not completely knocking the fury out of her, but we're definitely 50% less enraged the last couple of weeks and that's been a relief.

You might see a bit of your situation in my recent blog "Welcome to Monsterland, everybody."

https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/blog-1/dementia_monsterland


Tinie27
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2019 8:07 PM
Joined: 2/1/2019
Posts: 13


I'm sorry your mom is getting worse! The hospital and Grams nurse practitioner was my best friend in this.  Hope everything works for you, keep me posted. If you need to talk, message me.
 
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