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Our 10 year alz journey ended - peacefully - tonight
lairdwd
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2019 10:46 PM
Joined: 3/28/2017
Posts: 89


We went through so much together on this journey over the years, and I want to thank each and everyone of you personally for all the great advice and stories on this forum.  

A journey that started for me in 2009 and ended tonight in 2019. Ten years with diagnosed alz. We experienced everything form the paranoia of stage 3, to the cruelness of stage 7, and everything in between. 

It was very peaceful. My brother on one side holding Mom, and me on the other side. She passed quietly in our arms and just let go to Jesus. Couldn't have asked for a better setup. 


TessC
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2019 11:23 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 4740


Sorry for the loss of your dear mother. It sounds like she was ready and I know you and your brother was grateful that she went to her Lord surrounded by your arms and love. Wishing you and your family well. You were there for your mother the whole way, now live your life as she would want. Take care!
Sayra
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:47 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 1385


(((Lairdwd)))
NC caregiver
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:49 AM
Joined: 2/7/2018
Posts: 856


I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom, but an glad she is at peace .  10 years is a long time.  Rest my friend, and take care of yourself.
EN85
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:57 AM
Joined: 1/10/2019
Posts: 64


My deepest sympathy for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you
Jo C.
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 8:11 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 9654


Dear Lairdwd, I send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family on the death of your beloved mother.  That she was surrounded by the love of you and your brother as she left this earth, is beautiful.

May comfort and solace find you soon; it has been a long journey and you went the distance and thensome with love and care.

J.


Vik
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 10:28 PM
Joined: 2/26/2019
Posts: 172


Im a new member of this website, but was so touched by your post.  Im prayimg for you and your entire family as you "Grieve" the loss of your loved one. You hav run a good race, and now dementia has no hold on your loved one OR YOU!

Just remember, YOU ARE LOVED by so many!


SunnyBeBe
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2019 10:18 AM
Joined: 10/9/2014
Posts: 569


I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, but, glad that she is free now and at peace. Ten years is a long time to go on this journey. for the LO and the family.  Thank you for sharing what happened.
lairdwd
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2019 6:12 PM
Joined: 3/28/2017
Posts: 89


Thanks for all your kind thoughts. 

I was able to get here in time to give Mom round the clock palliative care during her biggest time of need as she transitioned to the other side. The active (1-3 day) dying process began just as I had got in town and she was starting her initial decent into unconsciousness

We had a brief moment of clarity, where she showed physical signs of recognizing me, despite her physical and mental exhaustion. We then had around 20 minutes of semi-comatose 'conversation' where there was another brief moment of clarity. The next morning, she had not regained consciousness, and I knew we were now near the end. 

From there on out , she was mostly unconscious, but I would hold her hand, and she would squeeze if I tried to pull away. Even though she was out of it, I got the sense that there was some small spark of light still flickering inside that could hear and feel, and she let me know. 

Finally, I'll say that Morphine was a wonder drug during the dying process. Mom had started losing weight very rapidly at the end. One day they tried to transfer her out of bed into the wheelchair and she howled in pain. The morphine kept her out of pain , and helped with her breathing, especially as her gerd started acting up again near the very end. Morphine did provide relief unquestionably, and I would not hesitate to use it again for the right circumstances. 


Mimi S.
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2019 7:05 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7036


My condolences to your family. You know she is now at peace.

Yu might want to think about sharing your wisdomwith oters on these boards.


Greg G
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2019 8:07 PM
Joined: 2/8/2017
Posts: 882


lairdwd,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  But also glad that you were able to be there when mom needed you most.  

10 years is a long time to be on this road.  Momentum will carry you along this road a bit longer but try to be good to yourself.  Take some time to relax and breath.  

Greg


kebertowski
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2019 11:52 AM
Joined: 10/19/2015
Posts: 15


I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to your mom, you and your entire family. May your mom rest in peace and i pray she is again able to do all the things that the disease took from her in her life.
OutsideLookingIn
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2019 1:33 PM
Joined: 7/30/2018
Posts: 91


I'm so happy you were there for the end.  As I've learned through many experiences, it is harder, at least in my view, to NOT be there than to be there.  And I'm so glad you had moments of clarity with her -- what a gift for both of you.

Now you start a new journey, with a hole in your heart you thought you were ready for, but will probably discover you weren't completely ready.  We're still here for you on this board if you discover times where you still need to vent, rage, ask for support, whatever.  We're friends who've never met.

May you find a peace in your life that you so richly deserve.

A


AmyJo5
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2019 1:34 PM
Joined: 7/28/2017
Posts: 173


You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your mom and prayers for peace for you and your family, even as your mother is now at peace. Sending virtual hugs to you.
Miss Iris
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2019 11:51 PM
Joined: 11/20/2018
Posts: 7


So sorry for your loss.  Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
MPSunshine
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2019 7:38 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1934


I am grateful for the sake of you and everyone that it was peaceful for your mom. Offering my condolences.
Iamnumberfour
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2019 7:45 AM
Joined: 2/29/2016
Posts: 1268


My condolences at this sad time. I hope that her peaceful passing surrounded by love gives you some consolation.
Skittles412
Posted: Monday, March 18, 2019 7:42 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 202


Lairdwd may your mother rest in sweet peace.  It's never easy to say good bye to a parent....no matter the circumstance.  Take good care of yourself and heal. Sending you lots of strength now and in the days ahead.  Bless you and your mom on her final journey.

xoxoxo -Kat


His Daughter
Posted: Monday, March 18, 2019 11:28 PM
Joined: 6/25/2014
Posts: 2277


Your mother raised a wonderful person.  I'm so happy that it was calm and gentle for all of you. May her love for you, hold you up in the months and years to come.  

My sympathy is coming your way.  

 


althomas
Posted: Wednesday, March 20, 2019 3:51 PM
Joined: 9/11/2017
Posts: 19


Hugs and tears.
 
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