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On the flip side of power of attorney
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 4:59 PM
Joined: 11/3/2018
Posts: 120

When I first moved in with Dad, my brother had already established full power of attorney for himself and he wouldn't share it with me.

Today my therapist told me, "Look, you don't have POA. You cannot move him to a facility. You cannot make decisions for him. Only your brother can do that, so if you move out of the house, then your brother will have to pull the trigger on moving your father."

My first thought was, "Can I be that big of a dick?" basically moving out, and dumping everything in my brother's lap. But, come to think of it, he did that to me a year ago by telling me that he canceled all caregivers because it cost too much and now Dad was my responsibility (I was told I would only have to help Dad in the evenings when I came down). I'm headed for another incident if I don't move out so I guess it's time to move out.

I've given myself until the end of June so that my brother is not surprised or blindsided by my decision, but since he isn't willing to change the power of attorney, then he can darn well USE it.

Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:05 PM
Joined: 7/12/2017
Posts: 1112

You are giving him plenty of time and its YOUR turn to have a life and I say go for it...Bro will deal with it.  Set a firm date, and start preparing your move
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:33 PM
Joined: 10/25/2018
Posts: 239

You're doing a job. Two weeks notice is plenty

But seriously, don't be overly generous. Your health and welfare is as important as your dad's.
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2019 5:35 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2117

I agree with Pidgeon.   Your brother can do it himself if he doesn't like it. If your dad is being neglected tell your brother you will turn him in.
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