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If you can travel at all, look into an Azheimer's Cruise. I went in 2017.
Stay on that Pity pot for as long as you need to.......Lord knows it’s not like musical chairs; no one will swoop in to steal your spot. There is no winner at the end of this game. Vent away, hopefully there will be brighter days ahead.
I don’t often feel sad but I do get perplexed. Yesterday, DH (solid stage 6) and I picked up our 4 year old granddaughter from pre-school. I dragged him, literally and figuratively, in and out of the car, to and from the school, buckled him in, unbuckled him and so on and so on......It’s an “outing” for him, but takes 3 times as long and requires 3 times the manpower and sometimes makes me weary. I got to thinking about all the things he was once able to do and the places he went and it almost seems impossible. Did he really take our kids and assorted neighbor kids to major league ball games? Could he actually babysit the grandkids years ago and keep them safe and entertained for hours? Did he honestly take his high school baseball players to out of state colleges on recruiting trips? To see him now, shuffling around the driveway, it all seems implausible and yet I know it’s true. I am beyond sadness for us; it is what it is and I can only make the best of it day to day. But I can’t help but wonder how and why it all went South.
Nostalgia over now! I will read a good book in the sun, wait for the grands to get off the school bus and pop DH a little CBD capsule in anticipation of dinner and nonsense with another set of grands. (Don’t know if the CBD works, but one can only hope.). Hang in there and just do one day at a time.
You know what you are feeling is normal, but that doesn't make it any easier. It's not my DH who has Alz but my mother, and I feel sad too and cannot travel because of her. I can look forward to traveling with my husband when she is gone, but of course you cannot look forward to the same thing. But perhaps there are other things you can look forward to, so it's important to take care of yourself so you can do some things you have had to put off for so many years. Hope is what keeps many of us afloat. Please share with us-especially on the Spouses Board as the members there can really relate to your feelings.
Be well and good luck with your dear husband.
I was a caregiver for my father for 10 years, then for my mother for 5 years. They are now in heaven and I am glad that I gave them my love and care. But I have to recognize it was not an easy period of my life. Soon thereafter, I retired and was looking forward to a more restful life. Not 6 months passed when I noticed my husband was forgetting daily life things. He was diagnosed Alzheimer's. It was devastating and I have returned to be a caregiver one more time. It is difficult. You love the person who has been your life for so many years and it hurts to see him slip away. In addition, I am so tired of taking care of all this alone and I pray that God gives me strength to carry on. I fear the near future, and I thought maybe this online group can help me. Thank you.
Dear Tiredcv - I am taking the liberty of reposting your note in a separate post where you may receive direct replies. To you and ugomimi: sending strength and peaceful moments your way. This forum is a true blessing.
Wake up with soft or cheery music.
Stretch. Watch comedy every day, old shows that will bring happy memories, or current.
If you are taking Prozac for depression, suspended little by little. Try LIONS MANE, research it. Positive effects will be noticeable by the third week.
Thank God for an other day.
If your husband is at all capable of a trip now, do it. The Alzheimer's cruise sounds great. Do what you can while he can! My mother with Alzheimer's doesn't do well with flying but she enjoys little driving excursions. (That being said, I am right there with you on the amount of energy expended getting her in the car, buckling her up, etc.) Once we have her in there, though, she is content to ride along the ocean.
I'm thinking this summer we'll take her up along the coast and just do a day trip or two.
It's hard enough being the daughter and caregiver, I'm sorry for you all as spouses of the LO, it has to be even harder. Hugs.
My mom is in a nursing home, and I visit about twice a week. I can't
do anymore than that. It hurts to see her slipping away, a little more
every time. She still knows me, but she's sleeping more, not eating a
lot, and I know the time is drawing near. I don't want her to suffer,
and I want to be there for her, but visiting is awful. She's in a nice
facility, and the staff take good care of her.
I hate this so much. I know I'm not saying anything you all haven't said, too, but some days it comes crashing down and it did today. Went to our Maundy Thursday service and that did help, but it just gets harder every time to go to that nursing home.
Most of the time, I'm just sad. I do laugh, and have moments when I'm not sad, but mostly, I'm just sad.
Dementia is hideous. It's hellish and it's so damned unfair. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being the responsible one, but that's not gonna change. I'm tired of being helpless in the face of my mom's decline. She's probably early 7 now. She's not happy and I know she's not, and that's hellish, too.
Hugs to all of you. Please think about me. I feel so alone.
Pippin, thinking of you tonight. I was down too. I watched some light things on television to lighten my mood. That helped a little.
I was trying to think of the positive things in my life...practicing gratitude.
Crazy the small things that give me comfort, too. Mom's cat has attached herself to me for some reason and lies next to me purring all of the time. It's nice.
Be well. You definitely are not alone.
ugomimi, I go through this too. I get that nothing-to-look-forward to feeling, what's-the-point mood. I too take an antidepressant and it does help, but it doesn't make me completely immune to still getting the bummed-outs for a few days on end. Sounds like you got the same situation?
Sometime retail therapy helps. I'm about to splurge on a Instant Pot I can't afford just to have something new to play with.
I'm with 'ya. Hang in there.