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Is this delusion??
zauberflote
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2019 10:00 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 104


hi all! Mom, 91, in MC, I visit twice a week plus take her to church with us on Sunday mornings. 

We always have to go out; it’s our way. Lately, she’s been asking about the little children I have. I figured she was remembering my boys as youngsters, and have been answering her “not that I know of!”  But today! My bro had a full day work layover and took her 75 miles away for the fun of it. Clearly they both enjoy this tremendously! Several times during the drive, she told him that I have....EIGHT young ones at my house She was very firm every time on that number.  I have  no idea who she’s ever known with 8 kids. Do we go with “this is delusion”? If she was so certain with bro, I guess I have to play along. I’ve named them already. Names of nieces and nephews on DH side, so she won’t be familiar. I can certainly say that these kids have been “mine” as they grew up anyway: I was part of the village that raised them.  

Hoping those who have experience with delusions can tell me if they think that's what we’ve got here. Thanks!


MissHer
Posted: Friday, April 12, 2019 10:11 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2109


Sure sounds like one. My mom used to call me from her ALF claiming that the aides brought their kids and used her bathroom. Later on she worried about her kids. Where are my kids, I have to get home and take care of them, I have to feed them, Yes, play along. Fiblets. Their in school, with dad, I fed them, etc.

I'm happy that you take your mom out for outings, I did that,too. So many people don't get to go anywhere or even have visitors, That always broke my heart. I became everyone's visitor when I went to see mom. 

Deb


zauberflote
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 12:03 AM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 104


Hi Deb, thanks

Where Mom is, aides have indeed brought kids from time to time. Whatcha gonna do if you have a childcare emergency? And if your kid really needs to go, and the only public bathroom in the building requires knowing who has the key... I wouldn’t be surprised if some kid used Mom’s bathroom. It seems some of the wanderers do, ICK. I keep a container of clorox wipes under the sink for these moments and more.  


Greg G
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 9:41 AM
Joined: 2/8/2017
Posts: 861


Hey zauberflote,

Sounds like a delusion.  If it is not causing mom any anxiety, I would just go with it.  See what fun you can have.

My brothers and I often have a 4th brother that no one knows about or has met.  But he hasn't visited mom in quite a while either.  So I guess we'll never meet him.    But since his not being around isn't causing mom much grief, I just roll with it.  I've offered to call him but mom says don't bother.  It is his problem.  "Ok mom.  If that is what you want, I won't try to get in touch with him."  And life moves on.

Sounds like you are doing well for mom.  Keep it up.

Good luck and best wishes, Greg


MissHer
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 1:05 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2109


My mom thought that the aides were bringing their kids into her bathroom,at night while she was sleeping, and left a mess. Much later on in the journey she saw the kids at my house and I caught her scolding them. naughty kids..lol
jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 1:17 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16582


A very pleasant delusion which may lead to some very pleasant conversations.
zauberflote
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 2:24 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 104


Thanks all!

@MissHer ok, that’s very different to what I was thinking. Naughty naughty kids

Thank you @Greg! The fourth brother is a good one. It’s better he should stay away, right?

@jfkoc I know from reading around that your wisdom is formidable! Yes we certainly can keep each other entertained!

Bro can’t yet entirely buy into this for family theological reasons. he has said that the time will come when the Absolute Truth will be very important to mom. This is very very true. I think I have to leave that one in God’s hands. She will be as a little child by then, and will know Him when she sees Him. He will see to that.

So... how do two grown (but with no kids, bc it’s possible I may have genuine grandkids one day), the other 6 younger sound? LOLOL  I’m afraid I am going to go to town with this! We love a good story.

 


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 3:08 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16582


For your theological brother.....first do no harm. I bet that is somewhere in the bible.

Romans 13:10 Love does no harm to a neighbor.Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.


MN Chickadee
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 9:04 PM
Joined: 9/7/2014
Posts: 716


There has been a lot of stuff with children with my LO. I thought it was because she used to be a teacher but maybe it's just how it goes for some  PWD. The children range in circumstances. Some days they are her children, sometimes they are orphans she is teaching or helping.  When she sees my children she thinks they are her children. She is looking for the orphans or waiting for them.  She folds her clothes as a collection for the children. This has been going on for years.  Some times she has narratives about my children that she is quite certain are accurate. I guess it never occurred to me to call it a delusion, though I suppose it is. I don't get hung up in the details. The details will likely change. If it isn't upsetting her, just go with  it. Smile and nod, don't argue.  Ask her leading questions about the children to reminisce about her kids and her own youth. You probably do not need to name the 8 children.
zauberflote
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2019 9:41 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 104


@jfkoc I like the Romans, and there are a bazillion other passages about love, but bro is not an adversary, so we have a way of coming mutually to things we can both live with. Turns out, he’s just not going to elaborate on these 8 kids. He likes my idea of:

Mom: did you know sis has EIGHT KIDS at home!!?!?!

Bro: nooooo! Tell me all about it! And then find a good distraction point so he can return to his comfort zone. 

Our problem is, Mom can smell a nervous prevarication a mile off and will not let it off the hook. I don’t know how she does this (she was a psychology major, is that it?), but speculate it’s driven by her deep love for us. I’m nimbler in my mouth than bro, men being from Mars, you know. I get more practise anyway. 

He is the baby by 13 years, so knows a whole different Mom than I do. He was an only child at age 6. So it’s only fair that his comfort zone is different than mine. 


JJAz
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2019 4:05 PM
Joined: 10/21/2016
Posts: 2190


Many patients have confabulations.  This sounds like one.  It is rooted truth somehow, but the memory gets misinterpreted or distorted in some way.
zauberflote
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2019 4:48 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 104


Jjaz and MN Chickadee, thanks! We'll go with whatever comes along. No mention of them in car today. There were about 30 kids in the choir running down from the balconies rattling tambourines and shrieking Hosanna!! So I think she got enough real kids today.
mostlyme
Posted: Monday, April 15, 2019 12:05 AM
Joined: 12/17/2018
Posts: 104


Delusions hey?  I thought this was just Alzheimer's.

Practically the entirety of my mother's conversations are like this.  She has an artificial cat she thinks is real.  And for months now there are many cats.  Some times I have to look for them for her.  'Oh, she's sleeping under the bed Mom, we won't bother her.'

I tell her her hair looks nice and she tells me the whole story of what she did to it. (not true).  I tell her I like her pants and she tells me where she bought them (I bought them for her).   She tells me she spoke with her mother.  She tells me what she threw together for lunch.  She is quite creative with the stories she tells.  

Am I supposed to be doing something about this?  Isn't this just Alzheimer's and everyone affected is like this?

I might be learning something today!


jfkoc
Posted: Monday, April 15, 2019 9:31 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16582


mostly me, you could teach the class!
 
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