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Watching my brother understand for the first time
mrgladd
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2019 8:06 PM
Joined: 11/3/2018
Posts: 120


The subject line is a bit of a misnomer since I didn't actually watch him deal with this, but he spent a good part of the morning with Dad in memory care and all morning and early afternoon long I was getting texts every few minutes from him.

"OMG he will NOT shut up about not being able to see in the left side of his field of vision!"
Did he do the wiggly finger visual field test?
"ALL THE TIME!"

"He keeps re-packing his suitcase saying it's almost check out time!"
Yes, this is textbook behavior.
"I've unpacked him three times and he keeps repacking!"
Then stop unpacking him.

"Now he's talking about some short term memory supplement he saw on TV!"
Yes, Prevagen. It doesn't work.
"Oh, that."
Yes, that. I showed him the evidence of bad science and the federal lawsuits 2-4 times a day, every day, for 15 months.
"HE WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT!"

I took no pleasure in any of that, bu on the other hand, all of this was old hat to me and I'd already become inured to it. But because he hadn't been there in person except for a few hours every eight weeks, this was all new to him and he wasn't prepared. I did what I could, but otherwise, I had to let him flounder to show exactly why Dad needs the next level of care.


gubblebumm
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2019 9:06 PM
Joined: 7/12/2017
Posts: 1157


THIS is why I say let relatives deal and take that trip or whatever, LO will survive, but at least then people will see....and its okay to feel a bit I TOLD YOU SO ish
pidgeon92
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2019 10:17 PM
Joined: 10/25/2018
Posts: 239


People who are unfamiliar with dementia really and truly do not believe the behaviors until they see it for themselves. I wish I had recorded my dad before he passed away.
mrgladd
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2019 11:31 PM
Joined: 11/3/2018
Posts: 120


gubblebumm wrote:
THIS is why I say let relatives deal and take that trip or whatever, LO will survive, but at least then people will see....and its okay to feel a bit I TOLD YOU SO ish
I'm not feeling I TOLD YOU SO ish, but more along the lines of  "Now you understand what I felt every day for 15 months. Now you understand why it almost killed me. Now you get that he needs the next level of care."
Now, credit where credit is due: he has done a kick-butt job of  raising hell at the facility when they haven't been taken proper care of Dad and has done a ton of work in getting information on all these places.

 
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