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LostOne
Posted: Tuesday, April 30, 2019 2:54 PM
Joined: 4/30/2019
Posts: 4


My mother has some form of dementia.  My brothers and I believe it to be Alzheimer's but the neurologist wouldn't say that.  Both my mother's parents had Alzheimers.

I have already lost my father.  I have 3 brothers but they are not helpful even though they live very close to mother.  I live over 1000 miles away.

I have medical power of attorney and one of my brothers has financial power of attorney.  I will say that all 4 of us are on the same page with most of what is happening.  

We need to get help but not sure where to start.  Mother is not acknowledging there is an issue which is making it even more difficult.

Is there a place where I can find a detailed list of the steps to take for getting help. If I have to call someone, what do I need to have ready before I call??  that sort of thing.

Any help, advice, etc, is greatly appreciated.

LostOne

**mother has all her affairs in order so we aren't worried about that. YEA!!


gubblebumm
Posted: Tuesday, April 30, 2019 3:21 PM
Joined: 7/12/2017
Posts: 1157


Start writing  everything down, each incident, each skill lost. GO back in time and journal the changes.  Make a doctors appointment for mom and fib, lie, whatever to get her there, Insurance needs it usually works or for a senior study, whatever.

Send doctor a letter before hand to explain your concerns, saying that you have Medical POA for when it gets triggered.  It may take some visits, pushing for more tests, etc before doctor will tridger the POAs.  Many primary doctors don't see the signs, or want to back their patient, oh we all forget how to count to ten and what month we were born, you be persistent

Meantime, make sure you all can protect her assests, ie check her credit, get access to online banking, whatever she has, because until you can get the POA active, she is vulnerable, so at this time do all you can to protect her  Many PWD get scammed before family has a chance to do that, so see what you all can do

And learn to fib, conjole, get doctor to see the reality...good luck, it aint fun!!


ElaineD
Posted: Tuesday, April 30, 2019 6:46 PM
Joined: 4/12/2019
Posts: 78


Dear LostOne:

This book is very good:

THE ALZHEIMER’S ACTION PLAN. Copyright © 2008 by P. Murali Doraiswamy and Lisa P. Gwyther.

There are also many checklists on line, which are reasonably compressive.

Someone needs to keep a diary (daily) of every behavior that seems 'problematic'.

This way you will have details, and can see patterns.

Be sure to note personality changes, as well as memory, getting lost, repetition, etc.

ElaineD


LostOne
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 6:21 AM
Joined: 4/30/2019
Posts: 4


Thanks for all this info.  It is very helpful. I responded in italics. 

Start writing  everything down, each incident, each skill lost. GO back in time and journal the changes.  Make a doctors appointment for mom and fib, lie, whatever to get her there, Insurance needs it usually works or for a senior study, whatever.  

I have done this and keep it in a notebook. Usually when I am with her and we go to the doctors, I bring the notebook along with me to take notes.  It helps me get things straight, report back to the brothers, and pin the doctor down when something is said and contradicted.

Send doctor a letter before hand to explain your concerns, saying that you have Medical POA for when it gets triggered.  It may take some visits, pushing for more tests, etc before doctor will tridger the POAs.  Many primary doctors don't see the signs, or want to back their patient, oh we all forget how to count to ten and what month we were born, you be persistent

I did this when I went with her to the neurologist for the first time.  Not sure he read it all or understood the severity.  What I did was write down the behavior/incident/concern and under it WHY it was a concern.  If I hadn't done the why part, it wouldn't look like a big deal.  ie hasn't balanced check book in a few months - seems normal but not to a trained accountant who is obsessive about it.  

Meantime, make sure you all can protect her assests, ie check her credit, get access to online banking, whatever she has, because until you can get the POA active, she is vulnerable, so at this time do all you can to protect her  Many PWD get scammed before family has a chance to do that, so see what you all can do.

This I will need to really look into.  My brother has POA (and it is active) but not sure he would know to do what you suggest (I wouldn't have thought of it).

And learn to fib, conjole, get doctor to see the reality...good luck, it aint fun!!


LostOne
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 6:24 AM
Joined: 4/30/2019
Posts: 4


Elaine,

Thank you very much for this information.  See italics for response.

THE ALZHEIMER’S ACTION PLAN. Copyright © 2008 by P. Murali Doraiswamy and Lisa P. Gwyther.

There are also many checklists on line, which are reasonably compressive.

Someone needs to keep a diary (daily) of every behavior that seems 'problematic'.

This way you will have details, and can see patterns.

Be sure to note personality changes, as well as memory, getting lost, repetition, etc.

I will get the book today.  I have done this and keep it in a notebook. Usually when I am with her and we go to the doctors, I bring the notebook along with me to take notes.  It helps me get things straight, report back to the brothers, and pin the doctor down when something is said and contradicted.

I did this when I went with her to the neurologist for the first time.  Not sure he read it all or understood the severity.  What I did was write down the behavior/incident/concern and under it WHY it was a concern.  If I hadn't done the why part, it wouldn't look like a big deal.  ie hasn't balanced check book in a few months - seems normal but not to a trained accountant who is obsessive about it.  


Thanks again,

LostOne


 
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