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When sibs have unreasonable expectations of MC
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 5:17 PM
Joined: 11/3/2018
Posts: 123

Dad was placed in a memory care facility last Saturday evening, so he's been there fore three days. I'm going up today to bring replacement chargers for his phone and glucose monitoring device. My brother sends me a crapton of texts about how the staff there is good at lip service but they suck and here's why:

"They say they make every effort to seat Dad at meals with others at his cognitive level. That is an absolute fabrication with zero truth. They also only check his monitor twice a day because that's what the doctor order says and no matter how big of a stink I make, they won't check more often. I've also found some of Dad's stuff in the activity room."

My brother has been there for three out of the twelve meals Dad has had there and each time there was one person who was obviously further along cognitively than Dad so how he can say there's zero truth is suspect. He complained that others weren't talking. What, you want us to MAKE them talk? What's wrong with you? As for the monitor, you said it yourself, the doctor's order says twice a day. They wouldn't even look at the monitor without a doctor's order, so maybe change the doctor's order and stop harassing the caregivers? As far as his things in the activity room, have you BEEN TO THE HOUSE where his stuff is aaaaaaall over the place? Oh, that's right. YOU HAVEN'T.

My brother's outrageously unreasonable expectations blow my mind.

Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 6:00 PM
Joined: 3/8/2018
Posts: 788

Ok, I’ll admit to having more than a little bit of schadenfreude with this story. Welcome to CaregiverWorld, GladdBrother. And watch out for the velociraptors with walkers
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 8:55 PM
Joined: 12/17/2018
Posts: 222

Oh dear... I remember when I was like your brother.

Give him time.  He'll adjust to the real world.

D in law
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2019 10:38 AM
Joined: 4/24/2017
Posts: 564

I slipped once while on the phone listening to sil complain about the facility her mother is in.  I said --"Well it's not the Taj Mahal!"  I couldn't help it.  Especially since she was the reason mil was placed there when she was.  A week before Christmas.  My husband refuses to speak to her now.  I mean he really loathes her!

I'm happy to hear from you Mr G and I too feel brother will adjust.  In time.

Posted: Friday, May 3, 2019 4:39 PM
Joined: 7/12/2017
Posts: 1302

My mom would say no one talks when she was at her day program ,well she didn't either, and she doesn't with me, I babble one about whatever and she nods and says yes or i remember...unless I talk she says nada, tis what it is, and you know what, glad you are finally taking care of you and get yourself something that says "told you so" even if for yourself to point to and nod
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